Emotional Intelligence & Emotional Maturity
|Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma? Do you suffer from your parents’ drama, your partner’s demands, your boss’s moods? Do you want to untangle your life … or help other people reclaim their freedom?
Are you Mature?
Your emotional intelligence, together with your intellectual intelligence and relationship intelligence, comprise essential parts of your life. an you assess your emotional maturity and emotional freedom?
Your every relationship is a hologram of your life. You can mask but not hide your self-awareness, your maturity, your self-control, your commitment and your integrity. In every relationship you will show how well you listen, communicate, initiate change, follow through and solve problems. In every relationship you proclaim your emotional intelligence. Emotional immaturity indicates past abuse or trauma.
Relationships expose your maturity
In every relationship action, you expose your life values and emotional intelligence. In every relationship decision, you express your communication skills, your commitment and your integrity. You cannot hide your maturity – or lack of it – for long.
Your maturity predicts your ability to monitor and manage your emotions, to assess the emotional state of others and to influence their opinions and behavior. Your emotional intelligence and emotional maturity seem to be most profoundly influenced by your relationship history and your trauma history.
What are Emotions?
Many psychological definitions of emotions seem devoid of the humanity of those people who value their emotions. Such definitions are often lists of abstractions …
Other definitions focus on the experience of being human.
Are you Emotionally Mature?
If you avoid your emotions, you may act reserved, dissociated or robot-like. If you feel but avoid expressing your emotions, you may falsify your relationships, undermine your health and delay your development. Immaturity is associated with impulsive emotions – often following child abuse and emotional incest.
You can easily estimate your emotional intelligence:
Any “No” may indicate part of your life where you may be emotionally immature, although many people will answer “Not really” to question 6. If your stress is high enough to cause you to age-regress (whatever the cause), you may feel and act childishly or even infantile for a time, before recovering balance and sobriety. During this time, immature behavior is more likely.
If you are still responding to stress, unassimilated trauma or relationship disappointments from your childhood, you may occasionally act out your trauma – usually triggered by some reminder or transference. We help people manage strong or chronic emotions (without drugs).
Emotional Intelligence & Relationships
Your emotional maturity will be most apparent in your relationship behavior. Do you:
We help motivated adults develop their emotional maturity by clarifying difficult relationships and resolving the cause of emotional outbursts.
Emotional Intelligence & Communication
Does your emotional intelligence may change dramatically when you feel strong emotions? Do you, for example, find yourself behaving like a young child when you feel abandoned or betrayed? Left unresolved, the consequences of emotional suppression or dissociation may be disease. Typical consequences include high blood pressure, colitis, ulcers and chronic fatigue.
What do you do after you feel provoked to express your emotions? How old do you feel and act when you express strong anger, sadness or fear? How far do you age-regress? Do you:
We help people express emotions appropriately.
Emotional Intelligence & Trust
Rapport is often used to describe compliance, in which an abuser tries to influence your decisions, with sales pitches, confusing rhetoric or hypnotic language. They may say, “It’s for your own good“.
Can people trust you with sensitive personal information? They may have trusted others and later felt betrayed or abused. Trust helps people get on with their lives, and seems essential for innovation and creativity. Trust can take years to build and seconds to destroy. The consequences of abused trust can cause lasting damage to a friendship, family, organization or government.
Trustworthiness is an essential part of emotional maturity. If people do not trust you, you may find yourself justifying every detail of every decision you make. And remember that not everybody is as mature as you. Be cautious about who you trust with important, confidential or personal information.
Emotional Intelligence & Leadership
Leadership is much more than a desire to delegate tasks. If your confidence helps orient people, and if your decisions are beneficial, and if you communicate your confidence and decisions well – people will respect you. We can coach you to be a true leader as you develop your leadership skills. For example, do you:
The key to emotional maturity is to always respect someone, especially someone for whom you disagree. Too many people use verbal clubs as equalizers. We are hard wired to fight but not to peacefully resolve conflict. Instead of verbally beating one, why not try reasoning with a person and logically and unemotionally explaining why you disagree and why you think that they are wrong speaking to them with an attitude of respect.
We should be utilizing the oriental philosophy of “saving face”. This is an lifestyle that shows respect for your fellow man, never causing them to “lose face” or to be humiliated or embarrassed. Isn’t that far more civilized than verbally bashing people
If you are having problems in your relationship, I can and want to help. I offer a free half hour consultation. I also offer a money back guarantee. As a coach, I differ from counselors in that I work with you to resolve your problems in a short period of time rather than one hour once a week for months and talking about your feelings. Drop me an email and I will contact you to set up an appointment on the phone or Yahoo IM