13 Things Men Forget About Women, Guest Post

May 26, 2010

Occasionally, I run across a particularly good post and repost it for your reading enjoyment. Kudos to Mr Kelly Boyd for this great post

True or False
May 24, 2010
Kelly Boyd People, Relationships 2 Comments
Women confuse men as men confuse women. That’s a given. But it’s not because we don’t learn from our past relationships; we just forget everything we learned in the time between one and the next. And we only remember how different the two genders are when a woman’s inherent eccentricities rear their wild head, once again.
I’ve been speaking to a number of people over the last few weeks in an effort to compile this bit of information. I’ve asked Black, White, Hispanic, old, young, married and single men question after question and have decided that there are:
13 Facts About Women Men Forget

So no matter how cool the chick, chances are she is…
Full of Shit: This is just a periodic trait, and exists in varying degrees. Most of the time, it comes out in what is called the “game,” but outside of a relationship it’s called lying. Basically, she tells you one thing, but means something more than her words. (Words only seem to matter when she remembers to use yours against you.) Other times, it happens when she thinks lying serves a purpose greater than the truth of the moment. So, she might have gone to lunch with her ex and said she didn’t, but he was a dick like usual, so it wasn’t a big enough deal to tell you about it (i.e., she cares about you enough to not want to hurt your feelings, but not enough to stop looking elsewhere). Now, try going out with your ex…

More Complicated Than You: When a man says all he needs is some time for TV, some time for drinking beer (aside from time spent watching TV) and some sex, he isn’t kidding. Most guys are often easily pleased, regularly content (if not happy) and down for pretty much anything. That’s what we mean by “easy-going.” When you’re not dating a woman or have just started dating her, and she likes you, she can have no trouble matching that description. However, once she’s comfortably in a relationship, she unveils a net of internal and inter-personal intricacies capable of confusing the crap out of any man. It’s a lot of in’s, outs, what-have-you’s, and it’s fucking difficult to remember.

Requires Compliments: Ok ladies, we get it, you have terrible self-esteem. And that sucks. We’re sure it’s our fault, somehow. How? But unless you want to start telling us what a gigantic dick we have every time we see you, give us a break if we don’t notice what you’re wearing from time to time. Maybe what you’re wearing sucks. Did you think of that? Uh, sorry honey, what we meant to say was that weird bag dress you threw on looks awesome.

Believes She Knows More About You Than You Do: Again, this only happens after her relationship is in a comfortable spot. At that point, if there’s something she doesn’t like about you, she will probably try to change it. Note: If you’re cheating on her, it’s ok for her to want that to stop. But if you’re just wearing the wrong shirt, or have the wrong haircut, that’s not her shit to change. You know how you want your hair, dammit. Tell her so, she’ll appreciate you standing up for yourself.

P.S. Women
Don’t believe anything Ebony, Vogue, Cosmo or any other “female-targeted publication” tells you about what guys like. Just keep it as close to BJ’s and good food as possible and you’re in the green.

Evil Toward Other Girls: Unless you beat women (in which case, you should be getting your ass kicked right now, or in jail, preferably both) it’s difficult to comprehend the razor-sharp viciousness women lash each other with during a feud. Angry women are cold, calculating and if they decide to fight back, they inflict the most damage possible. And this is the part guys forget: Mess up, and they’ll do the same to you! So if you catch your girl hitting below the belt with emails and rumors against someone you thought was her friend, watch your back, that’s all I’m saying.
Self Conscious about Something: This is essentially the cause of “Requires Compliments,” from above. But what women don’t realize is that, when a guy is with a girl, he thinks she’s hot. That’s a given in a guy’s mind, and doesn’t change much. So we completely forget that women, in general, are nervous wrecks of internal anguish. Usually, their fluctuating insecurity is about their bodies, which they say is a product of our cruel desire for them. (As if women are so kind to each other on this front…) Really, it’s about all types of stuff. So guys, if you take this fact of female existence to heart, it helps explain many of their womanly mysteries.

Crazy: I know this is cliché, but let’s get something straight: When chemical imbalances (i.e., changes in hormone levels) control your thoughts, words and actions that’s called crazy. A “visit from aunt flow,” as they say, is enough to throw many women over the edge at least for a couple of days. And while we will forever hold hope that there’s a reliably sane one amongst them, we are yet to even hear of her existence. In fact, most women admit their (temporary) insanity; you’d know if you listen to them. Don’t, and that’s some shit they’ll use against you, if you make the mistake of not knowing what the hell is going on.

Not Funny: Believe me, we’ve met (and dated) plenty of funny women. They’re not always fat and not always lesbian. Some of them are hot, and those chicks are the best. But for the most part, women just like to laugh at our jokes (they all say they want a funny man), and suck at coming up with their own.

A Star-Fucker: Given the opportunity, most women would seriously consider screwing a cool, famous person, just for the fuck of it; even your girlfriend. It’s just in their nature. (Non-virgin) guys don’t get obsessed with famous people the way women do. (Just go to a Justin Timberlake or Brian McKnight concert, or at least stand outside and watch to see. Nowadays, maybe even a Drake concert.) I’m not saying she’ll cheat on you, but she would definitely weigh her options, given the chance. Basically, if she’s going to an after party, agree to meet her there or consider yourself a dumbass, she will, lol.
A Better Liar: When a man lies, he knows he’s doing something wrong. He’ll dart his eyes, mumble, change the subject and try to just get the hell out of the situation as fast as possible. When a woman lies, she can look the person she loves square in the eye and feed him the biggest load of bullshit ever, and make it seem like she’s being perfectly reasonable, more reasonable than usual! (That’s your first clue.) But pity the man who catches his woman in a lie; call her out on it, and she will drop her entire arsenal of your fuck-ups upon your quickly withering form. Forget that tactic; it’s better to just go get drunk and hit on other chicks out of spite.

Enjoys Cat Calls: Let me begin by saying most cats don’t call out to girls on the street; we check out your ass and overflowing push-up bra from a respectable distance. But women don’t just (secretly, deep down) enjoy getting cat calls thrown their way, they expect it. Sure, some dude might go over the line now and then, and that never feels nice. But if nobody stares and nobody says a single lewd comment, she feels less sexy, like there’s something wrong with her that day, or at least with what she’s wearing. Guys don’t take this as an invitation to hit on every stranger you see walking down the street. But ladies, stop telling us you don’t like it.
Constantly Looks For Inner-Meaning: For men, saying exactly what you mean stands as a matter of pride. But no matter how straight your talk, women like to feel like they have more control over the situation by attempting to decode what you’re not saying, so they can guess how you’re feeling and what to do next. Here’s the thing, ladies: Men only talk to accomplish a goal of some type, like working out a business plan. You talk just to talk. It makes you feel better just to get everything out there. If talking isn’t for any reason other than to talk, we would rather do anything else.

Uses Sex to Manipulate Men: If she’s looking extra hot and/or acting particularly friendly, beware: she is probably going to ask you to do something you don’t want to do. (This is a perfectly acceptable trade-off in a woman’s mind.) She knows you like sex, and she’s got the tools to use that desire against you or at least to get what she wants. But sex is what we want, so don’t get us wrong on this one: We want you to use sex to manipulate us. It’s the best form of manipulation possible. But don’t think we don’t know what you’re up to.

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