What Men Need From Women

This is a guest blog post by a woman who has been reading my blog and agreeing with it. She talks to a lot of sexually frustrated men who are not getting enough sex from their wives. She is not getting enough sex from her husband and she agreed to write this guest post from a woman’s point of view. Feminists be warned. Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

What you should be doing for your husband

After much discussion with many men online I have come to realize that many married men are neglected by their wives. Their sexual needs are not being met, not even coming close. I believe that many married men want to stay loyal to their wives and while many do many others are straying by means of online pornography or chatting with other women and even going to the extent of meeting other women to have their sexual needs met. Why is this happening? I have a few theories. When women marry, they agree to take the vows of loving their husband. But what do they think it actually means? Just to be their companion, to make a life together, to have children together, make a meal for them, do their laundry, while they pay many of the bills.

Men are sexual creatures. They can’t help it. They are wired this way. They need sex, they need the intimacy of their woman, they desire this and this is what makes them feel desired and wanted and loved. How do you think they feel? Like a little child, would you neglect and ignore your child day after day never offering them your love and affection as a mother? Well your husband is like that little boy. How often does he have to go day after day feeling neglected, ignored, never getting love and affection? He helps to provide a home for you, in many cases feeding you, clothing you, giving you the best that he can and what does he hope for in return? Do you think he needs nothing in return? Do you think he doesn’t need that loving caress because all you have to do is cook him a meal, and wash his clothes? Do you forget how good love and sex feels when you have that skin to skin contact? Is he asking too much to want to be loved? And he so wants to please you. Like a little child they want to please their mother. They want to please you sexually and many strive to be so good at it they can’t understand why you don’t want them. Day after day they get rejected, always hoping you’ll be in a good mood to give them some loving. But they continually get rejected, sometimes for weeks, months and even years. They yearn for the physical touch of your body, they yearn for your kiss, they yearn for your recognition. Give them the respect they deserve and love them physically. Suck their cock like you used to when you were dating or early in your marriage. Their cock is their manhood, they’re not just using you for sex it is man’s way of showing his love for you. Be submissive to him, is it really going to hurt you? It doesn’t mean you have to bow down to him, it means he is worthy of getting pleasure from his woman, the same when he goes down on you and gives you oral pleasure he is being submissive to you. He wants to please you. And you should want to please him back and give him that respect that he is worthy of being loved.

I know women don’t appreciate being ignored and neglected. What if your husband went day after day totally ignoring you, just being pleasant or nice, but never offering a smile, a warm touch. They are not there to just keep the bed warm. They need sex. And not because they want to demean you, degrade you, sexual release for a man is important for his physical health, mental health and spiritual health. They show you love every day by fixing things for you, their physical strength is always a plus when needed in the household, they are there to help you, fix your car, sometimes fixing a meal, spending time with the kids. They need your love and attention and for them this comes in the way of bodily contact. And sex is good for the female too, it will no doubt relieve a lot of pressure from you as well.

Do you see it as demeaning to give them head? When did you become afraid of their cock? Do you hate the feeling of being submissive to them because somehow you interpret this as you are a lower specimen. It is not! The nerve endings on their end of their cock is the ultimate pleasure for them. God put those nerve endings there for a reason. It gives them pleasure and why would you not want to pleasure your husband. He is more than willing to lick and suck your pussy and clit. They are more than willing to play with your titties and lick and suck them. Many men are more than willing to massage your body. They want to make love to your body and give you pleasure because giving their woman pleasure is the most important thing for them. It makes them feel like a man that they can do this for you. So why would you not want to reciprocate. Giving your man the sexual love and affection that he needs and desires will make your life and his life the absolute best. He will have a reason for getting up in the morning because he will know that his woman desires him and shows it.

Ladies get a grip – men don’t want to go without sex but sadly many are and perfectly good married men too. Eventually many will start perusing porno, if they aren’t already, they may be attempting to meet other women if they aren’t already. Someone else will make them feel like a man, but let it be the woman he has at home.

42 Responses to What Men Need From Women

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    Ah, the dance just never stops, does it? And how many women, upon reading this, will say, “I know, but…?” There’s always a ‘but’ in all of this, huh, always some excuse with varying degrees of validity.

  2. John Wilder says:

    Yes women have a 1001 and excuses instead of just putting out and taking care of their men, then they complain about the lack of good men. Very irritating.


  3. bob says:

    how many times do I have to read this stuff, and forward it to my wife, only to see nothing change.
    I feel useless and frustrated and SAD.
    Like my most urgent desire is something I should suppress and be ashamed of. I feel like I’ll just be pretending the next few days at home – Merry Christmas every body! while inside, I just feel like dying. oh and I ‘ve not been married a year yet, but it’s not my first try. Are there any women out there who understand what a man really needs?

    • Hey Bob
      You havge my sympathies. There are women out there who do understand and take care of their men’s needs. You apparently did not find this out until after you were married. this is why I suggest that you sleep with a woman for at least a year befoer marrynig her. For what it is worth, I do offer a half hour consultation for free and would be willling to talk to your wife for you and perhaps striaightern her out.

      Blessings on you and yours
      John Wilder

  4. Candice says:

    I’m not questioning the value of the post – it is terribly logical (and a tad emotive) and easy to understand – but the argument would simply not work for me. I would never do something sexually under threat (implied, assumed or clearly stated) that my partner would go elsewhere for sex and I would never even hint the same to my partner. I have too much respect for myself, too much respect for him and know he would not want something not freely given.

    What I have learned from posts like this is to tell my partner my reasons for limiting at a certain time a certain thing – e.g. “It’s not that I don’t want to do that, I am just a little shy at the moment – perhaps if we could work up to that?”

    What I have learned from my own journey to sexual enlightenment is that it takes time to reflect and learn and change and one has to be in the right place to seek knowledge and learn. I am lucky I found the right sources of knowledge and also the right mentors.

    So what advice can I offer you Bob? You see not only that your needs are unmet, but that your relationship is far less happy than either of you deserve.

    Before resentment takes over, you need to learn as much as you can and establish very clear and frequent communication with your wife, realizing she is may only be on the start of her journey. Why is she behaving as she does? She might not even know herself. She probably does not know how good things could be or even all the options.

    I’ve watched several partners or close friends shift towards the place they are now – trying out new things and discovering what they really prefer. This did not happen through badgering – but through little suggestions, little experiments and only taking things further if they wanted to do so.

    Maybe you can shift the equilibrium slowly towards something optimal for both of you? You might need to build her self esteem and confidence in her own body, gently educate her etc. She might also have some sort of health problem – real or perceived – which should be addressed. Maybe she is resentful over something? Maybe she gives one reason while holding back another she is embarrassed to share?

    Through all this you must know that you cannot change a person’s basic self – e.g. I’ve known a gay woman who married thinking that it is normal not to be sexually interested in men. Hence, it may come down to deciding whether the marriage is viable. As the writer of the article says – there are heaps of married people out there having affairs or begging others for online sex. They have waited too long to address their marital issues and face insurmountable barriers to moving on.

  5. You should take part in a contest for one of the best blogs on the web. I will recommend this site!

  6. Motoryzacja says:

    Nice post. Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!

  7. I really enjoyed reading this post. Great step by step description!

  8. Thanks so much for this information … I’m already doing some of these suggestions but there are many others that are new to me.

  9. bob says:

    Candice I do build her self-esteem as much as I can – but all she says is you love me of course you think i look good….or, you just want sex, that’s why you say that.
    And as far as your comment about a threat -it’s not a threat, it’s reality. IF that’s a threat, so is saying you’d better go to sleep or you’ll be tired tomorrow. Why would any woman get married who thinks she doesn’t have to take care of her husbands sexual desire for HER. It’s torture, and I can’t take much more. She’s had 2 appointments with doctors in the last 4 months – that she ‘forgot’ to go to. She’s avoiding something. Guilt is killing her, and our marraige. She’d better trust me before it’s too late. I am dying inside. how much more can I love her before I give up?

  10. bob says:

    one more thing, last night I just said to her – honey i’m horny let’s do something…she said no. 48 hours had passed since the last time. she wasn’t into intercourse, I suggested other options. she said ‘you aren’t doing that tonight’ I said well, I am dear, right here next to you. I’m not going into the computer room, or watching a porn, I’m lying here next to you and so I took care of it myself. at least I could smell her…and feel her presence,,,

    and you know what she said? that I was ‘weirding her out’

    I said I’m sorry i’m ‘weirding you out’.
    The whole thing is getting pretty weird for me too.

    if she started touching herself I ‘d be all over her…

  11. JohnWilder says:

    Hey Bob:
    I completely understand where you are coming from and feel your pain. Did you reject my suggestion at talking to your wife? I had a wife who promised me as one of her marriage vows that she would never with hold sex from me and then 3 months later decided that once a week was all that she could take. I too masturbated right next to her but to no avail. She moved out and divorced me shortly after.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  12. bob says:

    John, thanks for the support.I dont think it would help for me to suggest talking to you. I ‘m saying and doing the right things. She’d have a fit if she even knew I posted this here.

  13. Hey Bob:
    Here is a suggestion. You need to not be afraid of her reaction and tell her that you have sought out help for your relationship and that I am willing to listen to her side without taking sides and help.

    You are not being effective, but a neutral party like me, she might respond to. She is super stubborn in not responding to you and she sees your continued efforts as just attempts by you to get her to give you sex. You need to change the dynamic. Tell her I promise as my professional ethics requires that I won’t tell you what she says to me but am offering to help and to hear her side. What have you got to lose at this point?

    John Wilder

  14. Ps Bob
    While I don’t take sides, you have a right to expect reasonable sexual relief from your wife. Would you settle for 3 times a week?

    John Wilder

  15. Loved Up says:

    I’m new to this blog but I’m learning a lot in a very short space of time. I am not married and so some of the issues stated haven’t arisen yet, but it has given me a new perspective. I would never withhold sex as a punishment, but there are days when I genuinely can’t get in the mood. Most of my girlfriends will agree that this happens! But when it does happen and you can’t commit to the next morning or the following day, then there must be a problem.

    Seeing as we rarely have the opportunity for sex, I intend to work on getting myself in the mood for sex, so that when an opportunity presents itself I can go with it. I’m excited for the prospects this is opening up for me. I can see, having read through some of these posts, that lack of sex, or more so me not putting out when we have the opportunity for sex, could be responsible for the few issues that arise in our relationship.

    It seems that sex makes for a happy couple. Maybe its ridiculous that this has never occurred to me but before this I failed to see the bigger picture. I didn’t see the other benefits that regular sex could have for our relationship overall, apart from satisfying Mr. Now.

    Thank You!!

    • Hey Katie:
      You are a very wise woman to see the benefits and the bigger picture. So many feminists angrily shout that they only want to have sex when they want to and anything else is rape. Men get the bulk of their affectional needs as well as their self esteem through sex with their wives. Most men need it about 3 times a week where a significant percentage of women only want sex once a week.

      Thanks for the positive comments.

      Blessings on you and yours

  16. Loved Up says:

    PS. Would it be okay if I included a piece about your site in my next post? I won’t be offended in the slightest if you would prefer I didn’t.

    Thanks 🙂

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