Sexual Resolutions for The New Year For Men

As a marriage and sexual coach, the number one complaint that I get about men from women clients is how lousy you are in bed. Is it any wonder you are not getting more sex? You need to make sure that your woman is well pleasured and satisfied before she is big on letting you use her vagina as a masturbation aid. I have guest posted this column from the girl next door link from Men’s Health Magazine. They have a lot of sexual advice for you guys.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Question: What’s a smart New Year’s sex resolution all guys should make?

Answer: There are several. At least, that’s what I recently learned when I posed the question to a handful of my girlfriends. Here’s what’s on their wish lists:

· More public displays of affection
· Triple the foreplay duration
· A 1:1 oral sex ratio
· Breaking out the sex toys more often
· Staying awake for at least 10 minutes after sex
· Clean fingernails and hair (freak’s sake, guys)

Nothing too radical, right? That’s because women aren’t looking for you to rewrite the Kama Sutra (although attempting a new position now and then is always fun). What they prefer is that you just put in a renewed effort to connect, share pleasure, and enjoy each other. Need some inspiration? Check out our lists of 10 ways to jumpstart your sex life and 6 steps to be a better lover for ideas on where to begin.

And Happy New Year!

14 Responses to Sexual Resolutions for The New Year For Men

  1. Candice says:

    Oh yes – public displays of affection – nothing radical needed – holding hands is so nice! Foreplay – I’d argue against a time target and for a performance based target – cuddling and kissing until you spark her interest (do you know how to detect when she goes from warm and cuddly to aroused?). Sleeping – I think its sweet when he nods off just when I am saying something important! No worries – he’ll listen when he wakes up! Do some guys not like toys? Do men really think they can turn up for sex unwashed and ungroomed? I thought being filthy was a subtle way to avoid sex (women have headaches, men have dirt). Happy NY! Candice

  2. Hey Candice

    Well assuming that the guy is doing things right during foreplay, it should at least lead to one of more climaxes for the woman before I tell a guy to enter her. So I argue for the time duration including performance based foreplay.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  3. I can see that you are putting a lots of efforts into your blog. Keep posting the good work.Some really helpful information in there. Bookmarked. Nice to see your site. Thanks!

  4. Candice says:

    🙂 I do enjoy cuddling etc, so longer is often better, so I agree with the time and performance based foreplay strategy. On the other hand, some older guys can only maintain an erection for a short time, so it might be best for couples in that situation to take that into account.

    mmm….actually after surveying a small sample of 40+ men it seems men are following your strategy. A very good aspect of this is that the lady’s climax does not rely on the man maintaining an erection. Also, I believe only a small proportion of women orgasm during intercourse. On the other hand, I do prefer climaxing during penetrative sex, so I would suggest couples communicate about what would be best on the day!

  5. Candice
    Your point is well taken about erections. They can be lengthened by the use of Viagra or other enhancing drugs. It is also true that guys over 40 take longer to achieve an erection and often need foreplay themselves to achieve an erection.

    One way to gaurantee that you climax during penetrative sex is for you to ride him on top facing away. You control the speed of the intercourse while also holding a powerful vibrator such as the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrartor against your clitty simultaneously. Just a thought.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  6. Candice says:

    Thank you for your advice! Maybe (for older men) the need for foreplay to achieve an erection will tend to equal things up between partners! Re Viagra etc – I don’t hold with using drugs to achieve erections and have told my man just that. There are heaps of ways to innovate and have fun rather than potentially causing some health risk from taking drugs needlessly. 🙂

  7. John Wilder says:

    Hey Candice:
    Easy for you to say. The health risks with Viagra and other drugs is minimal and for a lot of guys, it is the only way to achieve an erection. Regarding innovations, I have pioneered one, using the same Magic Wand Vibrator a guy can have an orgasm without an erection by placing it at the base of his penis and pressing it down and moving slightly back and forth. It is even better if he has the loving oral ministrations of a willing partner.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  8. Van Brack says:

    This makes me somewhat upset. I’m not calling you out though, really I think its everyone else that is responsible.

  9. Good thinking. What are your thoughts on expansion on a global scale? There are times when things like this begin to have global expansion and frustration. I’ll check back to see what you have to say.

  10. If you are like a lot of people you can simply overlook this. The best thing you can do is become relevant with yourself and faithful with your own morals. Generally this will lead to a mistaken and unproductive life.

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