Want More and Better Sex, Revive the Lost Art of Kissing

January 29, 2011

This is a guest post from Web MD who guest posted it on their blog from Redbook Magazine. Try it and let me know how it works for you and your sweetie.

blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Kissing: The Hot Love Habit That Makes You Both Happier
We challenged five women to just kiss more. The results?

WebMD Feature from “Redbook” Magazine
By Ayana Byrd

Have you ever wondered why we kiss? It’s actually a strange way to spend your time lips smooshed together, breath (good or bad) mingling, and let’s not even get into the tongue action. Yet we love it. We cheer when movie characters seal their happily-ever-afters with a smooch. A bodies-pressed-together kiss can make you remember why you adore the man who was annoying you just a minute ago. Why is that? “For some women, kissing is even more intimate than intercourse,” says Redbook contributing editor and ob/gyn Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., who devoted a whole chapter to the importance of kissing in her book What Your Mother Never Told You About S-E-X. “That deep level of connection you get when you lock lips and tongues is important.” Hutcherson isn’t just being a romantic there’s science behind the power of kissing: It causes our bodies to release endorphins and oxytocin, hormones that help us feel happy and more attached.

So it worries Hutcherson and other experts that kissing is one of the first things to dwindle when couples hit the long-term. In a recent Redbook poll, 79 percent of readers said they don’t kiss their husbands nearly as much as they’d like; 14 percent said they’re lucky to do it once a day. Alise, a 41-year-old mother of two, admits that for months, “we were down to a peck in the morning, maybe not even that.” It wasn’t until she tried to figure out why the usual zing was missing from her marriage that she realized nothing had changed except that life had gotten in the way of their kissing.
Hutcherson often prescribes smooches to patients like Alise, who are having sexual or relationship problems. “Getting back into the daily habit of kissing can rekindle a couple’s intimate connection,” she says. We rounded up some women to test her theory; Alise’s assignment was to plant a big fat one on her hubby at least once a day. “We’d been off it for so long that I was nervous about how he’d react,” she says. But after a week of making out more than they had since the honeymoon, she reports, “I swear we’re as giggly and as turned on as when we first met.” Read on for five more experiments and get ready to relearn the power of a kiss.

58 percent of readers
Don’t smooch their husbands as much as they used to
24 percent
Say they only kiss their partner as a lead-up to sex

Experiment No.1
A total kissing switcheroo
“I pride myself on being adventurous and creative in bed, but my kissing routine is, I have to admit, pretty boring,” Malikh, 29, told Redbook. “After four years of the same thing, I wondered if my husband was in the mood for something different.” She followed this advice from William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing, to shake things up. “Slide your mouth to his cheek and then his ear, then back to his mouth,” Cane said. “Also try different things with your hands, like rubbing his back, so it becomes a full-body experience.” Bingo! “My husband immediately went from his just-getting-home-from-work mood to being ready for action. Now I have it in my bag of tricks for when I want to initiate sex without just saying, ‘Hey, want to have sex?'”

Kissing: The Hot Love Habit That Makes You Both Happier
We challenged five women to just kiss more. The results?

Experiment No.2
Making over his smooch style
Twenty-five percent of women in our poll said they’ve successfully made over a guy’s kissing style. That was welcome news for Zora,* 35. “My fiancé kisses like a junior high kid,” she said when we first spoke to her. “It’s lots of aggressive tongue-swirling, and I’m always wet around my mouth afterward blech.” Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of the upcoming book The Science of Kissing, says that might be chalked up to man kissing versus woman kissing: “Research suggests that men may have an unconscious tendency to swap lots of spit because they transfer testosterone (which raises libido over time) to their mate through their saliva.” An interesting explanation, but it obviously wasn’t working for Zora. So to gently redirect her fiancé’s style, Cane suggested this fix: “Ask him to stand still and not kiss you back for one full minute while you kiss him the way you want to be kissed.” When Zora did, she couldn’t believe how quickly things improved. “I planted a slow, dry one with minimal tongue on him. Then I asked him to try to do the same back to me and, A-plus! He knows I adore him, so luckily his feelings weren’t hurt and he hasn’t returned to his old ways.”

Experiment No.3
All kissing (no sex!) for a week
Kissing had become a novelty for Audrey, 43, and her husband. “We’re affectionate but rarely kiss, even when we have sex,” she said. Bad move, Kirshenbaum says: “Whether a couple has been together for four months or 40 years, kissing promotes feelings of intimacy and security.” Did more kissing but no ba-da-bing make Audrey and her husband feel even closer? “On the first day we kissed big time, and it was hard not to jump in the sack, but surprisingly there was only one slip-up the whole week our eighth anniversary came four days after I started the experiment, and I fell off the wagon. The sex was amazing, and it was hard to go back to abstinence after that. But doing this reminded us how much we love kissing, and the payoff was hot.”

Experiment No.4
A very public display of affection
“My husband always wants to make out in public on the subway, in line at the market. What are we, teenagers?” says Sunny, 34. “It feels wrong to have people witnessing an intimate moment.” Cane’s advice: “The shared adrenaline rush that comes from an unexpected kiss can make a couple feel more bonded. Why not try it?” Sunny psyched herself up and did just that after a dinner date one night. “We stopped on a bench in Central Park and, surrounded by tons of people, I turned my properness meter off and open-mouth kissed him. I enjoyed it and realize now how many opportunities to be affectionate with him I’d been missing. I did, however, have to clarify my boundaries. After our little make-out session, he admitted that he’d almost grabbed my boob! Kissing, yes; groping, no.”

Kissing more way more
“My husband and I average one peck per week,” says Tara, 25. “First we had our daughter. Then we had our son. Kissing over. I miss those hourlong sessions we used to have.” But even one good smooch a day can “make you feel an elevated sense of well-being and closeness with your partner for hours,” Cane says. Tara put herself on a kiss-a-day diet to see if it would work and reported back.

Day 1 Saturday
I move in to kiss him, and before I can pucker up, he says, “What are you doing?” I say, “Kissing you.” “Why, where are you going?” he asks. Grrrr.

Day 2 Sunday
He wakes up and I plant a wet one on him. Later, I throw my arms around him and give him another kiss. He pauses, then says, “Hey, why don’t you marinate the steaks and I’ll make ’em for dinner?” He’s offering to cook? Hmm… that’s new.

Day 3 Monday
After work, I drape myself over his lap and pull his face in close. He kisses me twice in return!

Day 4 Tuesday
Two “I’m heading to work” kisses this morning, and I swear I notice a little pep in his step. I come home and dinner is on the stove. What. In. The. World? Later he gives me a foot rub on the couch. We head to bed and, um, “catch up” with each other.

Day 5 Wednesday
He gives me a list of chores and has them split up between us. His list is twice as long as mine! That night when I’m making dinner, he comes and gives me a long kiss. For awhile, we’ve only been kissing during foreplay. Peck, peck, off with the clothes! To kiss and not immediately disrobe? That’s passion.

Day 6 Thursday
We watch a movie and make out on the couch. I Iove how young and silly it makes me feel.

Day 7 Friday
We’re off on a weekend trip. As soon as we get to the hotel and put the kids to bed, I tell him about the experiment. “I always like kissing you,” he says when I ask if he enjoyed it. “You don’t like kissing me. You’re always too busy. You shoo me away.” I try to protest, but I know he’s right.

Two weeks later
We’ve kissed more in the last two weeks than we have in the past two months. I’ve been less stressed, and he’s still doing more around the house. And our sex life? It’s always been good, but now it’s electric. We both want it more. Hooray for coordinated libidos!

What men love about kissing
“It’s the best excuse to smell my girlfriend, touch her face, and play with her hair. Plus, I love women’s lips, especially when they’re soft and pillowy.” Eric Gale, 33,
Kissing: The Hot Love Habit That Makes You Both Happier
We challenged five women to just kiss more. The results?
Two weeks later continued…
“There’s an element of ‘I can’t believe this pretty woman is actually kissing me, the guy who forgot to shave for the last three days,’ which is nice for the ego.” Josh Aiello, 35, Brooklyn, NY
“Kissing keeps the longing there. A kiss is all I need to go from feeling like it’s any other day to wanting to rip my wife’s clothes off.” Chris Louis, 38, Los Angeles
“Being that close, breathing in sync, makes me feel in tune with my wife. That togetherness leads to more passionate sex!” Matthew Brown, 35, Laurel, MD
Original published on November 28, 2010

50 Ways to Cope With Stress

January 28, 2011

I try and post great blogs from other bloggers when they impress me. This is a guest post from a blog named Busy Living Pretty. She is another positive living blog that I have subscribed to and suggest that you do the same. Here is the link to her blog.


Blessings on you and yours

Get up 15 minutes earlier. Prepare for your day the night before Don’t depend on your memory, write things down. Repair things that are broken or in need of repair. Make duplicate keys (something that I should have done as I lost the keys to my bike lock)
Say NO more often. Set priorities in your life and follow them. Avoid negative people.

Make copies of important papers and keep them safe. Ask for help with tasks that you dislike. Break big tasks into smaller bite sized steps. Look at problems as challenges.
SMILE MORE! Be prepared for rain. Schedule play time into every day. Avoid tight fitting clothes. TAKE A BUBBLE BATH. Believe in you. Visualize yourself winning instead of losing. Work on developing your sense of humor because so often life is really a joke.

Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better today. Have goals for yourself and work towards them. Smile at strangers, it costs you nothing. Look up at the stars more often. Practice breathing slowly. It will reduce your stress levels. Step out of your comfort zone and do new and unusual things.

STOP A BAD HABIT! Take stock of your achievements and reward yourself. Start practicing the art of doing it NOW rather than the future. The future is not gauranteed.
Strive always for excellence but not PERFECTION. Look at a work of art from time to time and study it. Maintain your weight.

Plant a tree. Stand up and stretch periodically. ALWAYS BE PREPARED WITH A PLAN B
Learn to take care of your own needs. Become a better listener. Know your own limitations and let others know as well. Throw a paper airplane just for fun.

Excercise every day. Get to work early every day. Clean out ONE closet. Take a different route to work every once in a while. Leave work early (with permission)
Remember you always have options. Quit trying to fix other people. Get enough sleep. Get in the habit of praising others. Relax, take each day at a time. You have the rest of your life. And here is one extra free one that I am throwing in. Take a Ferris Beullers day off once in a while and go exploring.

Blessings on you and yours

Brilliant Wisdom in the Body of a Twenty Something Young Lady

January 25, 2011


This is a link to a brilliant young woman who is wise beyond her years. I never cease to be amazed at her well written and life affirming messages. She is functionality as opposed to dysfunction. I offer two of her columns on my blog as a guest poster. I suggest that you subscribe to her blogs. You too will be amazed at this twenty something young lady with the wisdom of a grandmother. Her blog address is kadams1234

It’s monday
For those working Monday through Friday, Monday can be a depressing day. It’s the start of the routine. It’s the start of waking up early. It’s the start of going to a place where we are not in control. It’s the start of dealing with all the other idiot drivers. It’s the start of frustrations. I could continue.

Why does it have to be looked at as the start of negativity? We should see it as a new day. It’s truly not the start of anything. The start of our weekly schedule started the day we were born. And the true end would be the day we die. So, if Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday is due to repeat for an unknown amount of time, it’s up to us to find away to make it more than a routine. It’s up to us to find away to make it special.

Maybe today is the day you start meeting for dinner or a brisk snack with friends. After a week or two, it would make you look forward to Mondays. I say change that which makes you miserable. If you truly hate Mondays, then you can truly find away to love them. There has to be something you can physically do to change your opinion. Nope, I will not accept any excuses or road blocks you put up here. This is your life, if you want to continue to make excuses and be miserable, you very well can.

If you want to be happy and take back your control of your life, then now is the time to do it. And, don’t let another person’s no, cause you to stop trying. The truth is you don’t need another person to really hold your hand. You are born alone in this body, and you will die alone. You experience life alone…even though you have companionship with another human they are not inside your body….only you are. If you take this approach, then going some place regularly alone is not any different from going with another. You just have to decided to change your life from I hate to I love. Trust me, you visit a place enough times, someone will remember you….and then you go alone, but you know you are not alone.

Life is about everyday. Everyday you wake up. You get out of bed. You walk through the steps of getting ready. You head out in the world thinking today is a new day. There is no other person responsible for our misery or happiness than our selves. If you want time, make time. Stop filing in excuses to help you feel better about not doing something. There are twenty four hours in a day. There is plenty of time for you to get your errands done, and take time for yourself. Whatever cannot be completed in a typical workday can be left for tomorrow.

Yes, it is easy for me to say this because I don’t live your life. But, I also don’t work myself into the ground, worrying about things that are not going to matter when I’m on my death bed looking back over my life. I worry about here and now. I worry if I got everything I could done, and if I made time to get back to myself. I found I enjoy being outside and going on four mile hikes about a year ago. I never knew until that moment, I liked it. I still enjoy them everyday. I give that to myself, because it makes me feel happy. I don’t have to worry about my phone ringing off the hook. I don’t have to worry about someone yelling or screaming at me. I don’t have to wait on someone. It’s just me and the scenery.

What do you enjoy? Could you find time everyday to do it? If no, how come? If you aren’t willing to put yourself first at some point everyday, how can you expect others too? How can you expect to be happy? You are serving other people and never yourself. Of course, you can lie and say it makes you happy to serve others twenty four hours and seven days a week. But that’s a lie. Nothing is fun that long and for that many days. There may be parts that bring you joy, but if you cripple yourself now – when you get older you’ll wish you had take more moments to get back to yourself. Take them today. You already put off yesterday want you expected to get done the day before. It’s the being of 2011. It’s time to get back to yourself.

blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

More Tips on Being Very Naughty and Yet Moral

January 21, 2011

I had a woman reader enjoy the post about being naughty and yet moral and asked if I planned any followups. I told her that I would do one because I always like to give my readers what they want.

Here is another very naughty thing that is fun to do. Go to the movies and have your wife wear a short skirt. During the movie, slide your hand up that skirt and insider her panties an get her off right there in the movies. She wwill have to bury her head on your shoulder for when she comes so as not to attract attention of everyone in the theatre. It is a little bit dangerous which makes more exciting. Be a gentleman and have a fresh pair of panties in your pocket for her to change into because the panties that she has on will be soaked.

Go to the drive in movies if they still have one in your town and do it in the drive in theatre like teenagers and let out a scream when you or she comes. People around you will hear you but won’t be able to see in the car.

If you enter a building with a freight elevator, you can stop it withou an alarm going off and do it right there in the elevator.

Go to an amusement park and go on the ferris wheel and slide your hand up her skirt and get her off right there on the ferris wheel, people can see her panties when you come to the bottom of the rotation and get a peek but then you go back up again. It is very naughty.

When you go shopping, go into the dressing room with her and do it right there in the dressing room.

Use your own imagination to do something very naughty and over the top and have fun and have more sex. It feels good and you need more of it. Good sex at least twice a week has been proven to decrese the changes of a heart attack by over 50%

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Women, Your Man Needs Respect Even More Than Sex

January 18, 2011

In this day and age of rampant misandry (reverse sexism against men by women) men suffer from lack of respect. We went from the 50’s sitcom Father Knows Best to men are idiots.

If you want to have a good relationship with a man, it is imperative that you learn to show him respect. This takes many forms. The first that most women are guilty of is making fun of and putting him down for his sexuality. That is extremely unfair. God made us this way. It would be like a man making fun of you because you have periods. Comments like; “is that all you ever think about?” (the answer is pretty much yes, get over it) or “what are you some kind of sex freak or fanatic”? God made us with testosterone that gives us the strong sex drive. It is a double edged sword. The same testerone is the same thing that enables us to protect you with our lives. You need to be very careful and infrequent with your rejections of his romantic overtures. Men are never as sensitive and emotionally vulnerable as when they approach you for sex. We might be tough on the outside, but on the inside, there is a little boy who would be crushed as if his mom turned him down gruffly for a hug when we needed. Men get the bulk of their affectional needs met through sex with his wife. If you want more affection, the key is to give him more affection through sex.

Men and women think differently. This is especially true when it comes to childrearing.
Men tend to be rougher with kids and that is good, they need it. The dad who throws a child into the air with squeals of delighjt from kids, you might never consider doing. Men tend to be gruffer with discipline. They expect kids to tow the liine and kids need that too. This is especially tue with adolescents. Kids need a dad in the house. Without it the statistics for kids living in fatherless homes is staggering, from drop out rates, drug and alcohol abuse, early sexual experiences etc.

You need to show him respect in all areas of cummunication with him. You need to periodically sincerely compliment him on legitimate things worth complimenting. His ego needs it.

Men are fallible and make mistakes. You need to give them room to make mistakes without putting him down for it. The most professional athletes only have about a 30% success rate. For example the homerun king Babe Ruth only had a 30% success rate at getting hits. If these professional athletes can only achieve this level of success, your man should also be given the benefit of the doubt and never ever say: “I told you so”.

You need to take his back in disputes, not side against him with other people. He needs your loyalty. If you disagree with him, you need to do it in private. This is in all areas but especially not in front of your kids. If you have to argue, do it when the kids are not around.

Finally, give him soft answers especially when you disagree. Make the problem the enemy and not your man. Use phrases like: “in what way can we resolve this?” This appeals to his problem solving nature and gives him a way to work with you and not against you.

The ultimate issue between men and women is division of labor. Most men naturally shy away from housework. The solution is to sit down and talk to him and tell him that you need his help and list the chores and ask him how he would like to divvy up those chores? Again this beats nagging him.

Let me know how it works out for you. If you follow my directions, you would be amazed at how much better you get along with your man.

The Ultimate Blow Job, Letting Him Come in Your Mouth and Swallowing

January 12, 2011

This is my top read post. In a little over a year I have had over 22,000 page views to my blog which is a real boon to my ego. This blog post has been posted for just 3 months and it is the top read blog post with almost a 1,000 page view. It is not even my blog post but a guest blog by a woman who agrees with me about what a woman should do sexually for a man. In that vein I am reposting the blog. Even today, it outpulled my main page blog post.

This is another guest post from a woman who has been reading my blog named Sharon and who agrees with me and my sexual posts. She encourages women to give their men the ultimate blow job as do I. Nothing will make him feel more special and more masculine than when you get over your inhibitions and learn to swallow his come. If you do this, you virtually make your man untemptable by another woman.

Ladies ladies ladies……….
What is the big deal of swallowing your man’s semen when you are giving him head. I’m sure you try new foods from time to time and different drinks from time to time or new candies or cookies from time to time.

And swallowing your man’s cum is just another taste of something. It comes from your man’s body which is not dirty, he has a sexual organ different than our own but even so his semen is unique to his body. It is one of the ultimate pleasures for a man to know that his woman will do that and appreciate the maleness that he has and the man that he is and all the masculinity that defines him.

Why would you not want to give your man the most – he is always willing and eager to please his woman. He never winces at the thought of eating you, or licking you, or sucking you. It turns him on to do this for you because he knows it pleases you with all those good feelings. And because he knows it turns you on – it ultimately turns him on knowing that he turns you on. So do not treat him any less by refusing to swallow his cum. You can start off small, by having him shoot it onto your body and you finger some up and taste it and do not make a face. When you get bolder have him shoot it to the back of your throat so you won’t get a full force of tasting him. And when you get bolder, it’s not bad to have a bottle of water there close by to wash it down. Doing this ladies will keep you close to your man’s heart because he will know in his mind that you take his ultimate load with no problem and that alone turns him on.

20 Tips for Keeping the Relationship Strong

January 8, 2011

I copied this from another blogger who goes by the handle of Warmsouthernbreeze.
He copied it from various web sites. I liked it so much that I have chosen to give him a repost or guest post on my blog. You can read more of his work by going to the following link. Enjoy and have sex more often with your significant other. It maks life better.


Marriage Tips
Love Boosters For Women
From Various Websites
Many a marriage expert (or maybe your own preconceived notions) would have you believe that you need to spend huge blocks of so-called quality time working on “Life’s Most Important Relationship” to keep it going strong.

For most of us living in the real world, however, those just-the-two-of-us candlelit dinners and deep, soulful talks don’t fit into a regular routine. And that’s okay. The fact is, marriage is in the details: the little stolen moments you two share each day. Need inspiration? Try one or two of these sweet and romantic ideas, most of which take no more than five minutes and will keep you crazy in love.

Written for the woman but works for men too. Use your imagination.

1. Tell him why he’s so much sexier now than when you first met him.

2. Pat his butt when he passes your chair on the way to let the dog out.

3. Bring him a cup of freshly brewed coffee when he’s up late working.

4. Watch The Three Stooges with him without even once asking “What’s funny about this?”

5. Develop code gestures for when you’re out in public. Signals that communicate the following are crucial: “This party is boring me to tears” and “I’ve got to get you home and make love to you.”

6. Get up with him a half hour earlier than usual and use the time to talk, make love or just read the paper together, side by side.

7. Link up your Palm Pilots and leave him a love message for the day.

8. Plop onto the sofa and give each other simultaneous two-minute foot massages.

9. Play “your” song on the stereo when he walks in the door after a sweaty bout with the snowblower.

10. Farm the kids out to their friends’ houses one night every month. Note: Double-check to make sure that they’re all gone on the same night.

11. Play a game of strip Yahtzee. (Watch out for the large straight.)

12. Never underestimate the power of a sudden passionate kiss before dinner.

13. After driving his car, refill the tank.

14. Once in a while, go ahead and wear the lingerie he likes – even that thong you wish you’d never bought.

15. Get him a coupon card for a free coffee at his favorite java joint and slip it into his briefcase when he’s not looking.

16. Hold his hand at parent-teacher conferences, soccer games and ballet recitals.

17. In bed at night, make sure to touch at least one part of his body, even if you don’t go for full-tilt spooning.

18. Smile across the pillow at him first thing in the morning.

19. Go grocery shopping together and pick out something really luscious for dessert.

20. Then sit on the couch with your legs entwined and take turns feeding it to each other.

How To Be Very Naughty and Yet Moral

January 4, 2011

I have a blogger buddy named Rob who gets inspiration from my blogs and then does a take off and writes his own blog. Recently he has been talking about doing 3 somes which I don’t approve of. I thought that you can still be very naughty without doing someone else’s wife and so I offer these three suggestions for your consideration

Here is a way to add a lot of spice to your marriage that is over the top naughty but still you maintain your morality.

A lot of people women included have thought about threesomes. Some couples think about swinging. I have never known a couple who have embraced that lifestyle that has stayed married and I specifically counsel against it because it is simply the beginning of the end of your marriage.

What I offer instead are some very real and very naughty things that you can do with your wife where you maintain your morality as well as hers. It is for the open minded people who still have morals.

My wife and I used to play “Tease The Trucker”. In this scenario, she would wear a very short skirt with lacy and sexy pink panties on underneath. I would get her to recline her seat down all the way and I would hike up that skirt so that her panties were exposed and slide my hand inside them and get her off while slowly passing truckers who could look down and see the action. Sometimes after getting off several times, she would put the seat back up and bend over on her knees so that those panties were exposed from the rear and would bend over and give me a blow job while the truckers watched. She enjoyed the anonymous attention and the thrill that she was giving to the truckers and I got to enjoy her and having the truckers wishing that they could trade places with me.

Other times we would do it on the beach at night knowing that people could walk by. It was dark so they were not going to see a lot but they could see a little and it was very fun and very naughty.

My ultimate fantasy is to do it with another couple in a motel room. We don’t screw each other’s other halves, we just do it in front of them and they do it in front of us with the lights on. I envision it going two ways, one we are all doing it together and watching or one couple is doing it while the other couple watches and then you watch them. I see us spending the night and perhaps getting it on again and then in the morning, the women run around in panties while getting ready while the men watch and then we all go out for breakfast. There is no cross touching or infidelity to screw things up but boy is it a turn on.

Why don’t you add your comment about your naughty but moral fantasy for other’s enjoyment?

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