This is my top read post. In a little over a year I have had over 22,000 page views to my blog which is a real boon to my ego. This blog post has been posted for just 3 months and it is the top read blog post with almost a 1,000 page view. It is not even my blog post but a guest blog by a woman who agrees with me about what a woman should do sexually for a man. In that vein I am reposting the blog. Even today, it outpulled my main page blog post.
This is another guest post from a woman who has been reading my blog named Sharon and who agrees with me and my sexual posts. She encourages women to give their men the ultimate blow job as do I. Nothing will make him feel more special and more masculine than when you get over your inhibitions and learn to swallow his come. If you do this, you virtually make your man untemptable by another woman.
SWALLOWING YOUR MAN’S CUM LOAD
Ladies ladies ladies……….
What is the big deal of swallowing your man’s semen when you are giving him head. I’m sure you try new foods from time to time and different drinks from time to time or new candies or cookies from time to time.
And swallowing your man’s cum is just another taste of something. It comes from your man’s body which is not dirty, he has a sexual organ different than our own but even so his semen is unique to his body. It is one of the ultimate pleasures for a man to know that his woman will do that and appreciate the maleness that he has and the man that he is and all the masculinity that defines him.
Why would you not want to give your man the most – he is always willing and eager to please his woman. He never winces at the thought of eating you, or licking you, or sucking you. It turns him on to do this for you because he knows it pleases you with all those good feelings. And because he knows it turns you on – it ultimately turns him on knowing that he turns you on. So do not treat him any less by refusing to swallow his cum. You can start off small, by having him shoot it onto your body and you finger some up and taste it and do not make a face. When you get bolder have him shoot it to the back of your throat so you won’t get a full force of tasting him. And when you get bolder, it’s not bad to have a bottle of water there close by to wash it down. Doing this ladies will keep you close to your man’s heart because he will know in his mind that you take his ultimate load with no problem and that alone turns him on.
Marriagecoach1's Blog 
Oh, I see. So as long as you do x or y, you’ve captured him forever! And as long as HE does n or m, he will never leave you.
Let’s see. I say n = make at least $1,000,000 annually and m = get a surgical implant in your nether regions.
Yes, that’s a solid relationship.
Weird, I’ve been happily (and I do mean happily) married to the same, amazing guy for going on 26 years. I’m guessing the author can’t remotely say the same. Maybe she’s not the one to make pronouncement.
Definite unsubscribe.
Hey Alison;
You did not say but implied that you don’t give your huband blow jobs, is that correct? Your quid pro quo is a little out of kilter is it not? Giving a blow job has no demographics. You could be unemployed or you could be a millionaire. Getting a surgical implant is not equivalent either. The author did not say that a wife should have a boob job, just spoil her man.
As to equality, how is it equality when guy will go down on his woman and get her off but she won’t reciprocate? What about a guy who would not go down on you at all, would you still be so suipportive of him not going down on you? I believe in true equality between the sexes. Your reply would imply that you do not.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
Equality is beginning to seem, more and more, like woman just want- more and more-without equaling out other areas.
Hey Curry
You are right, many women don’t really want equality, they want absolute dominance
Alison – It’s great you commented. Different opinions help everyone learn and think more deeply about a topic. But, don’t take John’s content too literally. He’s a very straight forward and practical person and does not take care to cover every base as do some more highly trained writers and certainly those with a background in law or the liberal arts. However, I believe his heart is in the right place. (I hope I have not offended here John, I know the right words in another language, but was a bit clumsy in English)
I have the feeling that oral sex is not that common among couples aged 40+. However, with a little skill you can make your man feel like he is in heaven and provide something he never expected he could have. It’s only a little thing to do for a loved partner and is very useful if the man has difficulty maintaining an erection.
I think that if your relationship is good enough that you feel close enough and intimate enough to do oral sex for him, he’s not going to want to wander.
John, I’d take issue with swallowing being the main pleasing aspect of oral sex for men. I think the important points are 1. You work with him to make it really, really nice. 2. You do it for him when he asks(after appropriate washing etc of course). 3. You like doing it – this is where the swallowing thing may be an advantage, but there are other ways to deal with the issue with grace.
The above is of course my opinion – I’ll ask my man his opinion and report back. I may even start my own blog and write a longer treatise on providing amazing oral sex for men without gagging or throwing up! 🙂
Hey Candice:
I don’t take offense. I am a professional writer in that I do get paid for my writing, but that does not mean that I have advanced writing skills. Howerver, this is a blog and I am giving practical advice and don’t feel the need to cover every conceivable base. Yes some women give blow jobs and don’t swallow. But think about the message that you are conveying, that a man is disgusting. How would you feel if your man did a lot of spitting to get your taste out his mouth after going down on you? I can only speak for most men and most men see the best blow job as allowing hm to come in a woman’s mouth and her swallowing.
This is why that I recommend that couples talk about sex before engaging in it (what most women don’t want to do). If a woman does not do blow jobs, then she should be up front about it and let the man know. As for me, it is a requisite for a relationship. I pride myself on my oral skills on a woman and I expect the same in return.
I suspect tha Alison is a feminists and most feminists that I know are very self cetered and it is all about them and men are the enemy and bad, but women are good.
Thanks for commmenting nevertheless.
Blessings on you and yours
Hey Candice
I would welcome you writing your own version of oral sex. I would publish it on my blog if you like, or if you do choose to write your own blog, I can repost it on my blog.
I am all for better sex between couples and women commenting positively provides positive peer pressure. How is that for alliteration?
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
My wife and I are over 40 and it’s pretty common in our bedroom. There are two things about this that should be taken into consideration. First, giving a blowjob – and to completion – isn’t all that easy a thing to do; it takes work and can be physically tasking. I know women who have said they can never figure out how a man can slide inside them and be done 30 seconds later but if he’s in her mouth, it takes like forever.
The other part to this is not really about fairness as much as it is having a love for it (and the results). In my experiences, a woman who doesn’t love to do this is going to be less enthusiastic about doing it at all. To this end, it becomes about her and how she feels when asked to do it more than it is about making him happy.
Then again, men who don’t give blowjobs don’t understand this at all. I know what it’s like and I’ve challenged guys to give it a shot, just so they can understand it from their woman’s point of view – and then they might find out why women can be so ambivalent about it.
But then you have that fairness thing. Men do think that if they can plaster their face to a woman’s crotch – and sometimes for long periods time until she orgasms, then the woman should reciprocate and do him until he cums. Uh-huh, sure, that logic is going to not go over well with women and especially those who think that sex is all about pleasing her.
And, yeah, methinks that women who don’t eat pussy kinda miss the boat on how, um, arduous that can be for men.
Neither thing is really as simple to do as it seems; when someone makes doing this a chore, it rarely goes well. Make it a demand and guess what ain’t gonna happen? You really have to have your heads in the right place to make oral sex work in a relationship – and the pun is intended.
Hey Rob:
I have tasted my own semen because women told me that it is disgusting and that I should try it which I did. Ironically, I find semen tastes very much like vaginal secretions.
Your point is well taken about the work involved in gettting a man off. I have a solution for that as well. Use a powerful vibrator like the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator and place it at the base of the man’s penis when he is recieving oral ministrations from his woman simultaneously. He will come much faster and have the most mind blowing orgasm that he has ever expereinced, especiaally if she can coordinate stroking a pair of her silky panties lightly under his scrotum at the same time. Try it and be astounded.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
I applaud you, John; most men wouldn’t even do that but, uh, try getting a taste the way women are asked to get it and you’ll see what I mean; it’s supposed to be fun but that ain’t always the case. I really don’t mean to be crude but until a man is on his knees and having some other dude using his mouth in ways it wasn’t meant to be, you just can’t see it as women do.
Ladies, I’m not letting you off the hook on this either; you should try having a pubic bone driven into your face really hard, someone pulling your hair, and they have your head in a what amounts to be a triangle choke – all at the same time – and then have to stay like that for as long as it takes her to get off one or more times – if at all.
You wanna know why people are ambivalent about oral sex in the relationship? This is why. Yep, as John says, there are tricks and tips to accomplishing this; it’s really a question of, “Do I really wanna do this?” And, really, be ye man or woman, it all begins in wanting to do it, not because it’s expected or demanded, but because you just flat out love doing it.
How hard is this to understand? Not to imply anything, but the most fun person to have oral sex with is the one who loves doing it and would love it even if they weren’t doing it with you. It’s their passion; it’s what drives them in this part of the sexual act; they’re making you feel heavenly because doing it makes THEM feel heavenly and maybe more so than you’re feeling. That makes it a win/win situation, right?
John – thanks for telling me what vaginal secretions taste like – I’d wondered! ..and … does the taste change as a woman grows older? Rob – thanks for your eloquently put contribution and I agree. 🙂
You’re quite welcome, Candice! A person’s taste in this depends on body chemistry – what you eat or drink along with normal processes and even one’s mental processes – stressed versus unstressed – plays a role as well so the taste isn’t always consistent and changes regardless of age.
And, you might be surprised how many women don’t know what they taste like! Your man could go down on you and if you kiss him, you’ll get a hint – but you’re really tasting yourself and him. If you masturbate (and I hope you do!) just stick a finger in there and pop it in your mouth – and then you’ll know!
Hey Rob
Your points are well taken. I understand that women who enjoy doing it will already be doing it without my urging. My blog post was designed to encourage women who don’t want to do it to get comfortable wih it and do it for their man, if for no other reason than for true equality. I find feminists have no interest in true equality but instead are narcissisic and it is all about them and that men are the enemy.
Now it was not aimed at feminists either because the vast majority of them are immune to logic, but it is aimed at women who can be persuaded who are not currently doing it.
Blssings
John Wilder
Preaching to the choir, reverend! But, understanding why they won’t – and giving voice to it – is also a fair thing to do; I think that the “feminists” wouldn’t keep lining you up in the bull’s eye if some sympathy – for lack of a better word due to a lack of coffee – is shown for how they feel about this or that. Not trying to tell you how to do your job but it’s not enough to say “just do it” and not speak to the downside of doing it at the same time (or shortly thereafter).
It may be even a semantical argument, the difference between “for their man” and “to their man;” this speaks to the ownership of the process or, it ain’t really about his pleasure – it’s about hers in doing it as I’ve said. Same with men; if I’m going down on her and knowing how I feel about doing that, I’m not doing it “for her;” I’m doing it “to her” – it’s my thing to do and to enjoy and if I’m having fun, she will be, too.
Now, it makes sense that if you combine the love you should have for each other with the love of performing oral sex, wow, can it get any better than that? But, even in this ideal situation, it’s still a choice for the person doing it because, duh, it’s only going to be as good as they feel like making it. As with other things in this, when you take away choice, problems will ensue.
As a man, if I know a woman has issues with sucking me off, there’s no point in asking her to do it because it puts pressure on them, it appears to be an attempt on my part to control her or impose my will upon her – that ain’t gonna fly and is not good eats for the relationship. We might talk about it – hey, she might even change her mind – but it has to be because SHE wants to do it. But, ah, because she won’t doesn’t even mean I’m not going to eat her coochie off of her body every chance I get because that’s what I love to do!
Hey Rob:
Being in the feminists sites is not a problem for me. I simply go to the equality issue and expose them for the absolute frauds that they are on equality. They don’t want equality, they want absulote dominance.
You and I will have to agree to disagree. If a woman is not going to go down on me, then there will be no relationship, I am not willing to cut her any slack on this issue, nor women in general. Where I really have a problem is with men who want blow jobs and women give them but the guy won’t go down on her. They make it bad for the rest of us. If more men would take my positon rather than yours, there would be a lot more head administered.
Blessinsgs
John
As I am a homosexual man I have quite the experience when it comes to giving other homosexual men blow jobs. When you give blow jobs you must make sure that you go up and down the penis shaft with your mouth and hopefully you can get the full lenth of their penis in your mouth like I do.
If you would like more information give me a call at 1-403-305-7727.
Hey Richard
I am quite sure that you love sucking cock the way that I enjoy eating pussy. What if you had a male lover who would not reciprocate for you, what that be okay with you?
John Wilder
Methinks, my friend, that her not going down on you isn’t the issue – finishing you is. All I’ve been saying is to think about why she won’t and if you know why, say something about it in your blogs.
My position? My position is to give her head until she can’t walk; if she wants to get me off like that, fine; if not, that’s cool, too, because my happiness with her is not dependent upon whether she does or not; after all, she is much more than a sexual object – she does have value beyond that.
Fortunately, my current wife has zero qualms about sucking me off; I can count on one hand the number of times she didn’t in the six years we’ve been together. Here’s the difference between me and most guys: I appreciate her whether she does it or not. I don’t ask her to do it; matter of fact, sometimes I wish she wouldn’t do it – kinda wrecks the plans I had for being inside her. Either way, I’m happy, she’s happy because, unlike her last husband, I don’t make her do it; it’s not a chore for her, I don’t demean her when she’s doing me and, not being that crazy, I don’t give her any reason not to suck me off.
We talk sex, too, and because we’re both bisexual, that gives us something else in common we can talk about… like giving head. I know like she knows, she knows like I know – we compare notes, talk technique, what it feels like for us when we do it, what we don’t like about it; I’ve always known that I love doing it and, yep, so does she again because she has choice in the matter – and she chooses to drain me dry every chance she gets. Oh, and when we first met? One of the first things she told me is that she doesn’t give head because of the way she’d been treated in the past. Um, my approach to this worked; theirs didn’t.
That, sir, is my position. Having said that, what I also know is why women won’t do it – been there, too. And I will speak to it. I think men who don’t give their woman head are nuts… or they want someone else to do it (and more) and, you are dead right: They make the rest of us look bad.
In this, it’s about addressing the issues of why a woman won’t do this or even why a man won’t. We disagree because you come from a “just do it or else” direction and that, in my experiences, doesn’t work; putting it to a woman like that creates more issues than it solves. In fact, would you agree that if a man cannot get a woman to do this for him, it’s a failure in his ability to do problem resolution? It’s something he can’t fix?
But men are kinda stupid at times. If she says no, he’ll ask why not; she will tell him – and then, instead of trying to allay her fears or misgivings by understanding her feelings about it, oops, it’s ultimatum time in a lot of cases. He’s unhappy, she’s even more unhappy and all because he either doesn’t get it or isn’t interested in doing the two things that might get her to do it: Address her concerns and give her back choice in the matter. Is that a bad thing?
Just love discussing things with ya, John!
I’m wondering what software you folk use to build WP headers?. I’ve used MS Paint in the past but it is not extremely flexible and doesn’t produce really good results. As I have dodgy eyesight I would like to find some software that works well (on Windows 7) and is often installed on any future personal computer with out having to (laboriously) learn a new interface each and every time. I have tried Gimp but wow I find it hard !. What is the best graphics instrument to go for which is totally free ??. Any thoughts gratefully accepted.
Hey Cats
This is a wordpress site and they have good templates to use.
John Wilder
You seriously call yourself a Christian counselor? This is one of the most unChristian sites I have ever seen on sexuality. You’re how old, and the way you talk makes me want to throw up in my mouth. Please, please, find another job, or at least stop trying to represent the Christian community.
Yes I seriously call myself a christian counselor. Did you not read all the passages in scripture about having a great sex life? You sound like one of many women victimized by churches telling you from the time that you were a little girl that sex is bad, dirty and wrong and that good girls don’t do it. This is in direct contradiciton to what the bible teaches. For example in Proverbs 5 it says “let her breasts satsify thee at all times and be thou always ravished in her love” Ravished is a bilblical word for great sex. Sorry, I hope that you have an attitude change.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
I sound that way? You really think you’re smart, don’t you? I did not grow up in a church, nor a Christian home. But it doesn’t take a Christian to know you’re not being one. Justifying your actions by hiding behind the “she’s a brainwashed Christian girl” doesn’t fly here.
“I am quite sure that you love sucking cock the way that I enjoy eating pussy.”
What type of a Christian man speaks this way? You don’t have to listen to your disgusting mouth or take your old, perverted loony advice to have a great sex life.
You’re ridiculous, maybe not as a human being, but as a person trying to pose as a Christian counselor.
I am a christian counselor who is trying to reach lost people in their own vernacular. If you don’t agree with it, that is up to you. I would recommend that you simply state your disagreements without the hate speech. You might also read my blog on how to resolve conflict peacefully. With your attitude and the way that you talk to people, I can see that you are extremely bitter. It is easy to spew hatred behind a pseudynm and be anonymous. In spite of your put downs, I don’t feel bad about myself or ashamed. I get compliments from women on my blog.
I don’t pull punches and am always forthright. Notice that I did not “return evil or evil” by telling you off and using hate speeach against you which the Bible commands me.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
“Hate speech”, or also known as disagreeing with you. But of course, it must be hateful. It is what it is: you are old, perverted, and severely unqualified.
Also, why don’t you actual reference scripture verses, instead of paraphrasing or lazily quoting them? Provide the location.
Either way, I found you through http://crystalspins.com/2011/01/19/what-exactly-are-your-intentions/ and clearly she was less than impressed with your “advice” as well.
You are so bitter that you can’t see your own hate speech. You can’t make some people like you. I am comfortable with you disagreeing with me and not liking me.
I will just labor in spite of your comments. I get 20 favorable comments to 1 negative comment. I will take those odds. You notice that I published your comments rather than tossing them into the trash bin which is my choice on the blog. I always publish disagreeing comments and you will be hard pressed to find them.
Try Proverbs 5:18 for some positive sex comments
I wish you well.
John Wilder
Hello John – thanks for the advice re vibrator at the base of the penis. I’ve still not worked out how to have a hand free for the silky panties, nevertheless it seemed to work well and there is one happy man out there. 🙂
I would appreciate any people disagreeing on account of Christian teachings to make a logical argument quoting the Bible. Emotive arguments don’t help me at all in my assessment as I take the Bible as my guide only.
Hey Candice:
Your points are well taken about applying biblical principles. There is nothing in the bible forbidding my talking about sexuality in the vernacular of the people that I am addressing. Some people are tied up in religiousity and Jesus rebuked those people and their legalism.
As to having a hand free for oral sex and stroking your husband’s penis with your silky panties, you have him hold the vibrator and you then have a hand free for stroking lightly and rythmically under his scrotum with those silky panties. Believe me, he will appreciate it. The two things in combination make less work for you because he will come a lot faster and a whole lot more intensely.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
PS Candice
I am writing a book entitled: “Sexual Education for Adults, Secrets to Amazing Sex and Happily Ever After”. I polled 200 women authors on a writing site about using slang vernacular for body parts as well as the clinical language to make it more readable and less clinical and dry. I had 194 women say yes to use the vernacular in addition to the clinical language and only 6 stating that I should use only clinical language describing body parts. So disgusted can continue to be disgusted, she does not affect me at all, and thinks again for your support.
John
Thanks for the further advice – we’ll try it out.
The problem with slang vernacular might be that different people use different words. Perhaps you could have a glossary? I often work out what is meant from the context.
I’m also a very conservative lady-like Christian woman. I don’t generally involve myself in swearing or smutty talk with friends, colleagues etc. I’ve also heard colloquial words for sexual things used in ways that are degrading and that association ruins the words for me.
However, I have found being naive about sexual matters does little good for a marriage, except fulfilling old fashioned ideas of what a Christian woman (or any woman) should be like. Therefore, I learn where I can and filter out what I do not like while trying not to judge.
I prefer clinical terms as its a way to avoid being embarrassed and its clear what someone is talking about. I tend to use clinical terms when talking to my man. But not all people talk that way and not all people are academically minded and very few are conservative Christians! Therefore, you need to address your market and people like me can just substitute other words in their mind when they read. 🙂
Hey Candice
I plan to use both clinical terms as well as the slange terms in the book and still poeple will find fault. I can’t be worried about people who will find fault. I am trying to make life better for all my readers and ocasionally I run across people like disgusted who will find fault no matter how I word it.
Blesssings on you and yours
John Wilder
I’m curious if you ever have problems with what people post? Recently it seems to have become an epidemic, except that recently it seems to have become better. What are your thoughts?
Hey Cyril
There are all kinds of people in society. I try and post even the most negative posts and reply to them.
John Wilder
first rate!
Hey Math
Thanks
John Wilder
Nice article, thank you. I signed to your blog RSS.
Hey Helen
Glad that you approve
John Wilder
Keep working ,impressive job!
Lovely blog! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am taking your feeds also
Of course, what a splendid blog and educative posts, I will bookmark your website.Best Regards!
Just discovered this site through Yahoo, what a pleasant shock! Regards:
[…] The Ultimate Blow Job, Letting Him Come in Your Mouth and Swallowing […]
I think it is the ultimate act of trust & acceptance & I couldnt imagine being in a commited relationship where this wasnt the normal thing to do. Sex & all its acts are a journey of discovery for couples, it brings intimacy like nothing else will, as long as it done with the true meaning of love attached. I think it is truly a beautiful thing to do together.It says I truly love you, like words cannot.
Hey Sharon
Thanks for dropping by and commenting. I agree with you. A man turly feels loved and nurtured when his woman does this for him and virtually makes him cheat proof.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
remote control vibrating panties…
The Ultimate Blow Job, Letting Him Come in Your Mouth and Swallowing « Marriagecoach1's Blog…
I really want to give my man the ultimate blow job but it is really difficult for me to do so just the idea of thinking that he is going to com in my mouth makes me gag and if he does come in my mouth i throw up please HELP.
Hey Jennifer
I have good news for you. You have a classic phobia and this is fairly easy to overcome. It is called “succesive approximations” or baby steps. Start out by taking his dick in your mouth and tell him that you want to over come your revulsion. He will most likely be patient when he knows you ar trying.
Get him all the way ready to come and then place a pair of your silky panties over his dick and finish him off with your hand. The silky panties feels very good against his skin of his dick. You can use them stroking the underside of his balls while sucking him and he will love it.
Keep doing this and then put a condom on his erect dick and blow him until he comes. You won’t get any in your mouth that way. Do that several more times. Now take a little bit of his come and put it in your mouth and then rinse it out right away with a glass of water. You will realize that it is nothing to gag about or get disgusted over. Millions of women let their husbands come in their mouths and swalllow. Continhue doing that until you can take his come in your mouth for longer periods before riinsing.
Finally let him come in your mouth and don’t try to block his come with your tongue but let him shoot it right down your throat. This way you don’t have to taste it or deal with the consistency. Keep at it and you will be a great wife eagerly swallwing his come and making him feel very happy and very loved.
I know that you can do it.
John
funniest videos…
[…]The Ultimate Blow Job, Letting Him Come in Your Mouth and Swallowing « Marriagecoach1's Blog[…]…
Hi Everyone,
I am in my early fifties, and I love giving and receiving oral sex. I wonder where Candice got her information about age and oral sex? She posted, “I have the feeling that oral sex is not that common among couples aged 40+” I know that among my 40+ friends that oral sex is very popular. My wife isn’t a swallower, but she is so excellent at performing, that it does not diminish my pleasure because she chooses to spit. She doesn’t up and run as soon as I have orgasmed, she holds me in her mouth until she is sure I have expelled it all, then gently releases me and goes to spit. I was impressed with how nicely John handled ‘Disgusted’s, rant. Well done!
Hey Ron
Thanks for dropping by and commenting.
Ask the wife to have a towel in bed so that
she does not have to go to spit and even
a glass of water is she wants to rinse
her mouth. Ask her just once to experiment
and let you come in the back of her throat and
then do a quick swallow. She would not have
to deal with the taste or consistency doing
it this way which is what most women complain
about. Trust me it feels so much better when
they swallow.
John
รายได้เสริมทางเน็ต…
[…]The Ultimate Blow Job, Letting Him Come in Your Mouth and Swallowing « Marriagecoach1's Blog[…]…
As a woman, I know that we have a life time of pain. Say menstrual pain, sexual pain, child birth pain etc because we have a different anatomy. Hence I wish I had a penis because:
(1) you can pee standing up
(2) you don’t bleed once a month
(3) don’t have to go the gynecologist get pap tests and deal with other female problems
(4) you don’t have to give birth
(5) you get more pleasure out of sex
(6) you don’t get raped
(7) you don’t get the fishy/unpleasant odour/yeast infections,etc
(8) I know I would have a big penis… haha
(9) I could know what if feels like to get head
(10) I would play with myself everyday couple times a day.
(11) I could brag about it being big like all guys do!!
(12) I epecially wish I had a **** how guys always talk about theirs and I wouldn’t get lectured about telling people to suck my **** how it is that is not ladylike or you have a ****, you don’t have a **** I’m obviously kidding when I tell people to suck my **** it is my pissed off phase so shut up lol it is a joke people oh almost forgot I always get lectured about how I sound trashy when I say it
(13) I can write my name in the snow
(14) I can pee on people/off of buildings
Hey Urmilla
What funny stuff. I don’t at all think that you are unladylike. Being a lady stops at the bedroom (or should). A guy wants a lady on the outside but a slut in the bedroom who is wlling to engage in his fantasies, talk dirty to him and give great blow jobs. Such a woman is virtually affair proof.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
infidelity…
[…]The Ultimate Blow Job, Letting Him Come in Your Mouth and Swallowing « Marriagecoach1's Blog[…]…
Sorry I’m running across this so late! (back in May it seems.). I was just trying to educate myself in regards to this topic. I’ve been married to my husband for 4 years now. I’m 24 and he is 31. In total we have been together 7 years. (Quite the young marriage on my end.). We have just had a baby this year, yay for sex. This baby is definitely one of those good things to come from it.
As most couples do, we engage in performing oral sex on each other. I am able to perform blow jobs on him, but it’s incredibly difficult for me. I suffered through several years of sexual abuse, which included being forced to perform oral sex on a male. I have underwent counseling and therapy. I consider myself in a very healthy place now and am at peace (as much as one can be) with these things. I continue therapy just as a precautionary measure .
And although giving oral sex isn’t the same gut wrenching thing it was seven years ago where I’d always excuse myself to freak out alone in the bathroom, it hasn’t gotten completely… Without complication, I suppose.
I do not associate my husband with my abuser during sex/oral sex. But no amount of counseling or mood altering prescriptions (whictake am unable to take anymore because they also made me apathetic) can shake the unbidden feelings and/or flash backs that often accompany the act. I can perform oral sex up until the point of his orgasm and I can’t seem to make myself swallow. I feel no amount of outside professional help can keep the memory of being a child and made to swallow ejaculate from my mind as burned such a strong reaction into my head.
Ive spoken to my husband in regards to this, and he tries to understand. But I know how difficult that can be. I’ve even had past boyfriends ask why I can’t just “get over it,” Or better yet, “take one for the team.”
I thought after seven years I’d have acclimated to it, and I’ve tried working up to it, I even sometimes just go ahead and swallow thinking if I just do it, the feelings will pass. That happens 8-10 times. Obviously if the feelings subsided I would not be writing this horrifically long post.
I realize this is characteristically PTSD.
I am a well rounded, highly educated person. I enjoy sex, but struggle with the context of my thoughts. I give blame to my abuser. But damnit.
Hey Anya
I salute you for your brave efforts and giving your husband oral sex. I understand what it means to be sexually
abused as I was too. You are right to blame your abuser rather than yourself. I can understand PTSD but I have
a suggestion. You can forgive your abuser. I know that sounds like a horrific idea and I am not suggesting it
for his sake but for yours. You rightly hate him for what he did to you but that hate is a poison that creeps into
your current relationships. By forgiving him you can evict him from your mind where you have been allowing him
rent free space there to continue to victimize you.
You know in your heart of hearts that blowing your husband and swallowing is the most loving act that you can
do for him. He loves you and is not your abuser. By giving your abuser free reign in your mind, you now inadvertently
allow your abuser to abuse your husband as well. I know you don’t mean to do that, but that is the practical
reality of the situation.
They say that living well is the best revenge. I can offer you counseling for free where we do what is called
“successive approximizations” (baby steps) where you can get over your abuse once and for all and learn to enjoy
loving your husband orally. I am on your side here.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
Gute Filme…
[…]The Ultimate Blow Job, Letting Him Come in Your Mouth and Swallowing « Marriagecoach1's Blog[…]…
How do I do this without gagging?
Hey Angel
You can get over your gag reflex, it is a matter of self discipline and baby steps
in reaching that goal. You can look at your man and the joy and pleasure come
over his face while you are pleasuring him. Millions of other women do it
and you can too.
John Wilder
Hey John
Nice work here with a very small yet vital issue. I am 25 and have tried oral with my boy friend while having sex. For a girl i think it is the best part of sex and i believe it is the same for a man too. But i do have a strange fear or apprehension whenever i give head as result of which he never cums in my mouth. I know he likes it and i like it but somehow i have never been able to do it .. How can i overcome this ?
Hey Debjani
Many girls don’t use enough speed to get a man off. Men love it when you take them in your mouth
and it feels good. Think about when he makes love with you and is getting ready to come, he
typically speeds up. You need this speed to get him off. You can alternate by stroking him
with your hand wrapped around his dick and stroke him fast 3 times for every one of your mouth
strokes. Here is another guaranteed way to make him come in your mouth. Get a Hitachi Magic
Wand vibrator (an industrial strength electric power tool vibrator) and have him place the head
of it against the base of his dick and you stroke the underside of his balls gently and rythmically
with a silky or satiny pair of your panties while you are blowing him. I guarantee that this stimulation
will have him exploding in your mouth and most probably screaming with pleasure as he comes.
You can order the vibrator online. How about sending me an update and let me know how it worked.
John
Im getting a little problem. I cant get my reader to pick up your feed, Im using msn reader by the way.
Try a different search engine
I Am Going To have to come back again when my course load lets up – however I am taking your Feed so i could read your internet site offline. Cheers.
My blog is a guilty pleasure, come around any time
I just have some questions for you if you don’t mind answering? Are you married and if so, how long have you been married. Were you promiscuous before you married. And do you currently or have you in the past watched porn? Do you feel it’s okay to watch porn and if you do or did, do you think it has shaped your thought process and made you demanding about sex? (I’m not saying oral sex is wrong). I find your delivery peculiar, and also your used of slang odd for a so-called professional, i.e. pussy, dick etc)
Hey anonymous
Yes I have been married for most of my adult life. Yes before I became a christian
I was promiscuous but not proud of it. Yes I have watched porn but have not in a long
time. It did not make me demanding about sex. As to the slang, I have struggled with it.
On the one hand using strictly clinical terms makes for dry boring reading. I surveyed
200 women writers about this and asked should I use strictly clinical terms, strictly slang
terms or both. Surprisingly, they overwhelmingly suggested to use both by a vote of 195 to 5.
I write for both christian and non christian readers and have tried to strike a balance between
the two. You might want to check out my blog post on Sex and The Bible for a more straight laced
blog post that might be more to your liking.
John Wilder
Thanks for answering my questions. If you don’t mind, I would like to ask some more questions. My other question is about swallowing. I’m a virgin, (a real one, not a technical one) but I do want to have a healthy sex life when I get married.. I have a few good friends that are honest with me about sex and when I asked them personal questions. The friends I asked said “heck no” to both swallowing and anal sex. The women that I talked to thought anal sex was more for the man even though the men pretend it’s about the woman. A lot of women think it’s a sign that the man may have been involved in homosexual activity.
I have no point of reference, but my one friend she will bring her husband to the point of ejaculation, but WILL NOT let him come in her mouth. When I read your post you seem quite adamant that there is NO other option. Peculiar if you ask me. You speak as though NO man can be satisfied with anything less Could that just be you?
I like what one man said on this blog.Until you have a man ejaculate in your mouth, you really don’t have a clue what that is like. Plus there is a big difference between tasting a women’s “juices’ and a man pumping his stuff in your mouth.I was told it’s not the same.
Just wanted to comment. Interesting things to consider as I contemplate marriage. Not sure how I will handle a list of demands when I have NO experience. Hmmm I see why God said to wait until marriage. You can learn together. But if a man has slept with 100’s of women and has been looking at women swallowing and being sprayed in the face in porn videos, he may truly believe that all women HAVE TO enjoy this. That is why I asked about porn.
Those images are so fake. The women are drugged up and faking and many end up dead, all while painting a false image of pleasure. Well, sorry to write a book. I appreciate your answer. I am posting anonymously, but you have visited my blog many times in the past.
Last question. Do you REALLY believe if a woman doesn’t swallow she doesn’t love her husband. Do you think that might just be your thoughts?? Thanks again for your response.
Excellent article. Let’s talk about the taste of semen. What a man eats makes a real difference in how semen tastes. Read: “What Foods Make Semen Taste Better?” – Not all women enjoy the taste of semen. Some savor it like a delicacy. These tips will help you go from bitter to better! Go to: http://tinyurl.com/69qhsqb – Enjoy!
Hey Larry
You are so right about the taste can change depending upon what you eat. Women who love it do not mind the taste. I teach women how to overcome their reticence about orally pleasuring their husbands. I actually have 4 different articles on here about giving blow jobs. They helped propel me to almost 100,000 page views which I will achieve next week.
Hey Anonymous:
Your confession that you are still a virgin helps me to better understand your frame of reference.
Let me first send you to Titus 2 in the bible where it says that the older women of the church should teach the younger women of the church how to love their husbands (sexually).
Now as to anal sex, it can be pleasurable for a woman if it is done correctly. See my blog post on how to have anal sex and even climax from it. This can come in handy after childbirth or during a woman’s period if she does not want to have sex on her period. There is nothing wrong with having sex on your period, I just avoided it on her heaviest day and placed a towel underneath her.
As to a man ejacualting on a woman’s face, I would never recommend that as it is humiliating for the woman.
Now as far as letting a man come in your mouth or not, let me explain the man’s viewpoint. As to youf friend bringing her husband right to the point of climax, it would be like your husband bringing you right to the point of climax and then pulling his mouth away from you. A very decidely negative and rejecting action that would make you feel like not having him doing it again for you. Men have done without their wives giving them blow jobs but it alwaysl leaves them feeling cheated and not worthy. By not allowing him to come in your mouth it communicates to him that he is gross and disgusting. You can do anything that you want in your sex life but to really make your man feel loved I suggest getting over the idea of allowing him to come in your mouth and swallowing. These blow job articles are my number one read articles out of all of them and it numbers in the thousands of page views if that gives you any indication of how important it is. No it is not just my thoughts but conversations with hundreds of men and a lifetime experience of gettting blow jobs myself. Any woman can lay there with her legs spread and let a man pound away on her but it takes real love to take him in her mouth and give him oral pleasure. It makes a man feel blessed and loved and accepted.
I have tasted my own cum and it tastes similar to a womans vaginal secretions
No anal sex is not based upon men’s homosexual activity. It is based upon his desire to penetrate each of your cavities. The best answer that I ever got from a woman about this is that she did not read anywhere in the bible where it forbid any part of her body to her husband.
Lastly, I would suggest if you have not already been doing so to masturbate to an orgasm so that you are in tune with your own body and know how you are best stimulated so that you can tell you husband who really does want to please you. Every woman is different and needs to be stimulated differently. Men just know that the tab a goes into slot b but are ignorant of advanced sexual techniques. This is why I am writing this blog and why I will be publishing a book on it in January 2013.
Feel free to come back anytime for more answers. I will always tell you the truth and shoot straight with you, (no pun intended)
Thanks for the response. Please delete my previous message as I would prefer not to have my blog on your site. Thanks!
Sure I just thought that you were expressing confidence in me by revealing yourself, but consider it done
John
That was not a reflection on you at all. I put my personal business on the site and prefer it remain that way. 🙂
I understand and note that your comment is already gone
Yes, I did. Thanks. And now you know who I am. 🙂
I was wondering if you would mind deleting all of my posts. Even though I’ve posted primarily as anonymous, now that that one post is out there I am not comfortable with this stuff online. Do you mind? Thanks
Well in the blog world, it won’t matter if I delete all your posts. It actually helps that you leave the anonymous posts up to dilute your comment. Besides no one is going to relate your one post to the anonymous post. Not to mention that you made good comments as well as I have given good answers. I will only if you demand it, but technically since I own the blog I am not required to. Out or respect for you I will delete your comments if you demand that I do so
No, I won’t demand. No problem. It may be helpful to someone.
Thanks, I appreciate it, it is for that reason that I do the blog, to help people have happier and more fulfilling relationships as well as sex lives. There is a lot of lousy sex going on out there as well as bad relationships
I really don’t wanna read through all these comments before giving my own because I know there are all sorts of people and all sorts of tastes. So this is just my own, 67-year-old opinion. I don’t like the texture of all sorts of foods. Fried okra and fresh oysters feel slimy to me, and I don’t like slimy. It reminds me of snot…or maybe I just don’t like snot because it’s slimy too. Yeah, I’ve tasted it. Different guys’ semen tastes different, too–some of it tastes okay and some of it tastes, I don’t know, not-okay, and some of it doesn’t taste at all. Something tells me there are lots of people out there,young and old, who have never come down on each other and still have a pleasurable sexual life. It’s like a lot of things in life: if being pleasured in that way is something you love and would miss, then you probably shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t love–or even like–it.(a good reason for sex before marriage, I would venture to say).To me, it’s like putting down someone who doesn’t like scotch, even after trying it, which everyone says one has to do in order to learn to like scotch) To each his/her own, without making fun of or scorning someone whose tastes aren’t the same. As I said, this is all my own opinion, take it or leave it. Just don’t put me down for it.
Hey Para
Everyone is entitled to set their own boundaries. I am just saying most men dearly love
blow jobs and feel loved. Perhaps you could do it with a guy wearing a condom. I am not
putting you down for it.
John
Didn’t think you were putting me down, just felt the guest lady blogger was laying it on pretty thick—you should excuse the expression;-)
I really enjoy reading this great post someone should be willing to take a stand for marriage as God intended it to be
Thanks Lollipop. Nothing says love like a woman willing to pleasure her man in the most direct of ways. Any woman can lay there and think about other things while I guy is pounding away at her, but taking his penis in your mouth takes your total attention and be assured you have his total attention. When you keep up the suction and swallowing while is coming is the ultimate orgasm for a man.