7 Tips For Snagging Mr. Right For Women

February 25, 2011

Women, if you are having trouble with a man or men, does it not make sense to talk to a trusted man than to your girlfriends? It is like Sex and The City. Carrie went to her gal pal posse who were equally clueless about men with her man problems. In that vein, I have put down these 7 sure fire tips for finding and keeping Mr. Right.

1. Men are looking for a best friend and confidante’. You need to modify your behavior so that he feels safe to bring anything up with you. This includes negatives about you. The number one complaint that I get in my practice is that women don’t make it safe for a guy to bring complaints about you to you. Women tend to become highly defensive when the guy has a critique or complaint about you. They tend to get loud and verbally abusive. While critique is hard to hear, you need to listen and ask him: “in what way can I resolve this?”

2. You need to smile and be approachable. This means going places without a girlfriend or wing woman. Guys tend to avoid women in crowds of other women.

3. You need to be proactive in your approach. If you see a cute guy and have smiled at him and he does not come over, walk up to him and ask him if he would like some company? This is especially effective if you are having lunch and he is having lunch or dinner alone. Guys actually like women making the first move sometimes.

4. Ask him tons of questions and act interested in his replies. By keeping the questions up you can find out tons of info about the guy in a relatively short period of time. Also don’t interrupt him when he is talking, guys hate that. Wait until a natural pause in the conversation to bring up additional questions or a question about what he is talking about.

5. Men want a willing and adventurous sex partner. Guys are becoming more discriminating in their sexuality. This means that you need to free up those inhibitions. Also invest in some frilly lacy lingerie. Men love that as we are all visual creatures. Most women are still wearing virginal white nylon panties with no lace, BORING! Wear a lacy bra as well and wear a semi transparent blouse so that he can see the lace through it. This tells him that you are not a sexual prude and understand his sexuality. The last thing that you want him thinking while making love with you is that a previous girlfriend was better in bed than you.

6. Be willing to tell him what you want sexually. Men naturally want to please you but every woman reacts differently to different stimulation. Guys would love it if you say faster, or slower, softer or harder. When you come, be sure to scream. Guys love it and you will find that if you do this, your climaxes will actually be more intense. This is why you hear women tennis players grunting and screaming when they hit the ball, it delivers 30% more power.

7. Let him have his space and don’t be clingy. Also be trustworthy and don’t snoop through his stuff unless given permission. Women are naturally curious but avoid this.

Let me know how this works for you and if you have anything to add to snagging Mr Right

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder


12 Sex Tips for Men From Real Women

February 23, 2011

This article was pulled from Men’s Health. I have added my own comments to a few of the comments after the woman’s name. Enjoy and let me know of your own techniques to make it better for the women. Enjoy and blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Eighty-seven percent of the women we polled said they’re happy to coach their men through sex. We asked them to start.

Explore the Unexplored

“There are still a lot of erogenous spots he hasn’t found—behind my knees, inside my elbow, my ankles, and more.” —Veronica, 41

Crank Up the Volume

“I love hearing him enjoying himself. It’s how I know I’m doing it right. Let go and I will, too.” —Crystal, 29 A A note from me, scream when you climax, it actually increases the intensity by over 30%. Try it and see if it does not feel better.

Embrace Technology

“Just because I want to use sex toys with him doesn’t mean he’s doing something wrong.” —Erika, 28

Follow Through

“Sometimes when I’m almost ready to climax and I’m moaning a lot, he gets excited and takes it as a sign to change position. That kills the orgasm, and I have to start all over again.” —Kim, 26

Watch with Her

“Certain kinds of porn really turn me on, even girl-on-girl. I want him to watch with me.” —Amanda, 29

Mix It Up

“I really love sex, but not when it’s a routine. Make it feel fresh—do it in the morning instead of before bed . . . or even better, in the middle of the day. Take a long lunch break! That’s a thrill.” —Anna, 20 Yes guys too many of you do it the same way every time, it gets boring.

Be Detail Oriented

“A random kiss on the back of my neck can turn me on more than an hour of foreplay does.” —Stayce, 43 I suggest coming up behind the woman, wrapping both arms around her and kissing and biting the back of her neck lightly.

Start the Conversation

“I’m willing to be much more adventurous, but I can’t find the words to tell him that.” —Ashley, 27

Show Her Your Passion

“All he has to do to bring me to orgasm is look into my eyes. Emotion pushes me.” —Amy, 33

Play Rough with Her

“I wish one day he’d come home from work, throw me on the bed (or floor, or furniture) and ravage me rough.” —Michelle, 34 Here is a technique that works for me every time guys, literally rip her panties off by hooking your hand in the waistband and ripping them in one fast move. It simutaneously scares and excites women and every women that I have ever done it with has told me that she loves it. A lot of women like their hair pulled from behind when doing it doggy style, she also likes to get spanked hard on the butt when doing her doggy style. A lot of women have secret rape fantasies. Ask her to tell her about hers and always always have a safe code word for her to use to let you know that it is going too far for her.

Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues

“Certain things suddenly feel great. So when I move your hands somewhere, keep them there!” —Jasmine, 24

Dominate Her

“I like it when he leads. I’m in control during my day, and I want a break from that.” —Mayaan, 27


7 Common Sex Secret Thoughts Women Have When Having Sex With You

February 20, 2011

high-heat passion can make a man’s mind go blank. That’s understandable—and a compliment to the woman. But sex is different for us women. When the clothes come off, our brains go into overdrive. For proof, have a peek into the secret thoughts of more than 1,000 Women’s Health readers while they’re having sex.

Here’s your job: Read her mind. No pressure—only your sex life depends on it. Researchers find that in order to reach orgasm, women must quiet the parts of their brains linked to anxiety and fear. So if you know what all the chatter inside her head is about, you can react and help bring her to an awesome, cranium-calming climax. Our survey shows you where to start.

Secret Sex Thought #1

“I worry he won’t think I’m any good, and that I’ll kill any chance of building the relationship.” —Meghan, 19

Fifty-seven percent of women said that during sex they’re wondering if you’re enjoying it—enjoying her, really. So consider that license to be loudly enthusiastic. “But be specific about what you’re enjoying,” says Lou Paget, author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. The more fully you describe something she’s doing that you like, the more convincing you’ll sound.

Worry not. Here’s how many women are critical of your . . .
Facial expressions: 11%
Sounds: 12%
Penis size: 4%

Secret Sex Thought #2

“I wish he’d hurry up and finish already.” —Laura, 22

Surprise: Sex ideally lasts between 3 and 13 minutes, a survey of sex therapists found. Read her breathing and body language. No highs and lows? She’s probably had enough.

Secret Sex Thought #3

“Oh, crap—did I shave my legs?” —Carly, 26

More than half of women said they thought about their body hair nearly every time they had sex. So touch her as if you don’t care, or you’ll make her self-conscious—and that makes sex worse for both of you, says Joy Davidson, Ph.D., creator of the online series The Joy Spot. Then go ahead and distract her by becoming really enthusiastic about a part of her body she’s feeling good about.
Secret Sex Thought #4

“I think about threesomes during sex—but I’d never want to have one.” —Alexis, 28

Many women spice things up with far-fetched fantasies; they’re exciting and not relationship-threatening. So go with it. During sex, whisper crazy fantasies (that involve her!). Tell her where in public you’d like to go down on her, say. Or give her those two men in bed—by being both of them, Paget says. “Be the wild guy, then switch and be the sensitive lover who lies on top and kisses gently.”

Secret Sex Thought #5

“I fantasize that I’m completely uninhibited—taking control, and introducing sex toys.” —Jen, 37

But she’s often too shy to act. More than a third of the women we surveyed said that during sex they’re thinking of dirty things they’re embarrassed to talk about. One in four is imagining a position she’s afraid to ask you to try.

“Often her hesitancy to speak up is related to other inhibitions, like worrying about how she looks or tastes,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., the author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover. So to start, describe senses: how great she smells, how good she looks or feels. If she says something, respond. If she hints at something, go for it. The more you show your excitement—and the more you lead—the more comfortable she’ll be.

Secret Sex Thought #6

“Sometimes I’m thinking, ‘I still have laundry to do after this.’” —Jennifer, 22

It’s a cliché, but a true one. More than one in four women said they thought about household chores during sex, and 20 percent thought about work. “It’s just the way my mind operates,” says Stephanie, 27. So bring her back. Our poll’s top suggestion: Turn up the passion—and let her feel it. “When she’s bored, it’s because the sex is routine. So take charge. Move her around and be more assertive,” says Davidson. Hold her tighter, run your nails up her legs, pin her arms down (if she’s comfortable with that). A lot of little things can make her take notice. What laundry?

Here’s a bonus tip: There’s no one way to gain her attention, women say. Some of their suggestions:
Talk dirty: 17%
Become more assertive: 27%
Pull her hair: 7%

Secret Sex Thought #7

“I occasionally compare him to my ex. I can’t help it!” —Jessie, 28

Yes, she thinks about other men during sex. Sometimes she even fantasizes about them. Ouch! But she’s conflicted. Consider: 51 percent of respondents said it was natural to fantasize about other men during sex, but 74 percent said they’d be hurt if you fantasized about other women.

Focus her attention. Ask her, “What do you want me to beg for?” Fulbright says. “It gives her the sense that she’s steering the action.” And she’ll know you’re the one giving her what she wants.


5 Simple Steps to Push Her Over the Edge Sexually

February 16, 2011

I found this in Men’s Health. I especially would call guys attention to doing it slowly both foreplay and intercourse. Too many women are left frustrated long after you are done. Spend some time holding her and cuddling her afterwards as well.

The difference between ho-hum and “oh yeah” is attention to detail.

“A lot of men just barely miss the mark,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., the author of She Comes First. “A woman doesn’t want to hurt a man’s feelings, so that’s one of the main reasons she’ll fake it.”

Be prepared to end her acting career thusly.

Horizontal Stimulation

The fix: Prop yourself up with pillows and have her sit so that she’s facing away from you and leaning back against your chest. Reach around and use your fingertips or the flat of your hand along and between her legs in up-and-down, side-to-side, and figure-8 moves.

The gain: “This position is easy to maintain, enhances intimacy, and helps her relax—that way you can both be more effective,” says Kerner. Your other hand will be free to run over the rest of her body.

Trying to Be Too Creative

The fix: Hold your tongue steady.

The gain: “Most women need one consistent, repetitive motion in order to feel satisfied,” says Marshall Miller, coauthor of I Love Female Orgasm. It’s okay to run through the alphabet to explore what she likes, but settle on her preferred letter (or number or punctuation mark) to bring her to O.

Asking, “What do you like?”

The fix: Ask simple yes-or-no questions, such as “Does this feel good?” “The more you can tune into her feelings without having to talk about it, the better,” Kerner says.

The gain: She’ll feel, not think. “To climax, a woman has to be able to relax and let go. Asking complicated questions can inhibit the process,” says Kerner. Yes-or-no questions can ease her into providing more detailed feedback
Forgetting Slow Equals Intense

The fix: Use your thumb and index finger to gently massage her breast, first clockwise and then counterclockwise, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., founder of loveologyuniversity.com. Then place your hand over her areola, and roll it with your palm. Finally, (very) gently pull and tease her nipple. Do one at a time, in slow motion.

The gain: This careful, intense formula combines several kinds of stimulation, ensuring that she enjoys the experience.

Exclaiming, “That was great!”

The fix: Celebrate more than just the physical: “I’ve never felt like that before,” or “You make me feel so amazing.”

The gain: A postcoital touchdown dance says you’re interested in just the sex, not intimacy. Plus, if she was less than wowed, you’ve devalued your sexual currency. Worse, if she doesn’t feel emotionally fulfilled, she may feel used. Lavish her with compliments about connectivity. Tell her how sexy it was when she gazed into your eyes.


Even More Evidence Disproving Global Warming Theory, Scientists Trash The Scientific Method

February 12, 2011

At least the unethical and/or the leftist scientists do. The Scientific Method was invented by Galileo to insure ethical research protocols independent of popular thinking. Galileo was persecuted by the scientific community when his research indicated that the Earth revolved around the sun instead of the sun revolving around the Earth. This contradicted popular consensus of the time. He died penniless, persecuted and correct in the face of overwhelming scientific consensus.

Today ethical scientists abide by the Scientific Method in their research. The unethical scientists and leftists have abandoned that protocol in favor of “consensus”. The IPCC, Al Gore and the media keep talking about consensus about Global Warming theories. They don’t talk about any proofs derived through the Scientific Method because there are none.

Part of what makes the Scientific Method credible is the solid foundation that requires any scientific hypothesis to be verifiable, testable, repeatable and open to critique by any scientist in the world. In fact scientific journals are published to disseminate research findings and make them open to scientific peers. In response to that, we have scientists complaining around the world that they are “blackballed” from getting their refutation articles printed in scientific journals. We have had had a Congressional hearing about the widespread censorship preventing scientists from coming forward to expose the fraud. We have had mainstream professors and research scientists complaining that the IPCC suppresses any dissenting articles and does not even report that there are any. We have Nancy Pelosi openly threatening any scientists who don’t toe the PC line on global warming to cancel their research grants. That is not only a violation of scientific protocols and the Scientific Method, it is felony extortion. Similarly, we have had the head of The Weather Channel, Heidi Cullen suggesting that any meteorologist who contradicts the global warming tenants have his credentials revoked. This is also felony extortion. These women have not been called on it much as less prosecuted.

ENVIRONMENTALISM IS A SECULAR RELIGION

We are also troubled by environmentalists who view it a as secular religion. For them it is about faith and feelings. They can’t be bothered by facts and logic. Facts and logic do not resonate with them. They have adopted an alternative religion and for them it enables themselves to have a positive self-image. Whatever is stated in the name of saving the planet is never ever questioned or fact checked. To question it or fact check it to the environmentalist is a Christian’s equivalent to heresy. It is if we are denying God’s existence. Critics are dismissed, criticized, maligned and rendered irrelevant. For the environmentalist, there is no room for discussion. It is “us against them”. The resemblance between radical environmentalists and cults are eerily similar.

What is observed are the global warming cabal’s own writings. They characterize themselves as culturally and intellectually superior. They condescendingly refer to anyone who disagrees with them as: “The Cro Magnin Fringe”, Deniers, “under-educated” ignorant and so on.

Here are some scientific refutation facts that you should be aware of: Man caused global warming due to increased CO2 is a theory based upon a flawed computer model on the part of the IPCC. That theory posits that CO2 will rise into the atmosphere and stay there for 100 years. The IPCC claims that this will be cumulative and causing a “green house effect” thus causing the earth to warm.

Here is the scientific refutation. CO2 has a specific gravity of 1.52 which means that it is 152% heavier than air and thus sinks to the ground when released. This is why we use it in fire extinguishers. The CO2 sinks to the ground and starves a fire from oxygen. You can’t do away with the Law of Gravity. Now it is true that we have wind blown particles of CO2 in the air, just like we have wind blown dust particles in the air. The truth is that when the wind dies down, gravity pulls the dust and the CO2 out of the air and it settles back down to the ground. We went from 300 PPM (parts per million) before the Industrial Revolution to 380 PPM over the last 100 years. That is an increase of 80 PPM. The fractional equivalent of 80 PPM is 8/100,000ths of 1%. That is a trace amount by any objective standard. Trace amounts are allowed in our food. The FDA even has standards for trace amounts of rat droppings in our food. People urinate in the pool while they are swimming. We all know that and yet we all swim in the pool. The amount of urine compared to the whole volume of the swimming pool is so small that it is not a factor.

BLACK BALLOONS

Black Balloons is the title of a commercial that epitomizes the kind of outright rank fraud being perpetrated by the global warming cabal. You can see it for yourself by simply punching it into your search engine. Gore touted this commercial in a segment with Larry King. It is a slickly and professionally produced commercial with a voice over narration by Tommie Lee Jones. It depicts black balloons ostensibly being filled with CO2 from different appliances. The balloons fill and then break free from the appliance and float up to the ceiling and out a window joining thousands of other balloons to illustrate how we pollute the atmosphere. What is fraudulent is that they filled those balloons with a lighter than air gas of Helium. If they had in fact filled them with CO2, they would have sunk to the ground. The media never made an outcry over this rank fraud. It is illustrative of the fraud going on the movement.

We are told that we are at a “tipping point” and that we are all in imminent danger thus requiring drastic alterations in our lifestyle, or at least mitigate it with carbon taxes.

Around the world, we put billions of cubic feet of CO2 into the atmosphere from distilling beer, wine and hard liquor. We also put billions of cubic feet of CO2 into the atmosphere from bread making. We even manufacture billions of cubic feet of CO2 to put fizz and taste into our soft drinks. In this country alone, the per capita consumption of soft drinks is an amazing 47.2 gallons. Ask yourselves, if we are at a dangerous tipping point that requires immediate cutbacks of CO2 into the atmosphere, why are the scientists not asking or demanding that we cease production of these carbon offending products? This is of course a rhetorical question. The answer is obvious. The public would revolt and we would not get any agreement at all to give the radical environmentalists what they are asking for.

In the mainstream media, we have been subjected to numerous scare tactic claims. We have been told that: we are going to have massive flooding due to glacier melt and ice burgs melting, that we are going to have “massive saltwater fish kills” due to that same glacier melting, that polar bears are either going to drown or starve due to the ice pack melting. We were previously told that we were going to have global warming because Freon was eating a hole in the ozone.

FLOODING

One of the big scare tactics by global warming alarmists is massive flooding due to ice melt. They conveniently forget to tell you that Newton ‘s Third Law of Physics has not been disproved. His law states that: FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION. This means that if we have ice melting due to warming temperatures, there will be an exponential increase in the rate of evaporation from the oceans. This evaporation is part what is called THE HYDROLOGIC CYCLE. The Hydrologic Cycle simply means that the rivers run into the oceans, the sun evaporates water from the ocean surface, distilling it and removing the salt in the process, the water vapor rises into the atmosphere where it is dispensed in the form of rain or snow which falls on the ground and runs off into the rivers where the rivers run back into the ocean. So in actuality, the oceans would actually decrease in height due to global warming not increase.

Al Gore stated that the floating ice burgs melting would also cause flooding in his movie; AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH. You can disprove this yourselves because of Archimede’s Law of Displacement. You simply fill a Styrofoam cup above the rim with ice cubes to simulate ice burgs. You then fill the glass to the rim with water causing the cubes to float like ice burgs. Allow the ice cubes to melt. You will not have any water leaking over the side thus easily disproving Mr. Gore’s claim.

SALTWATER FISH KILLS DUE TO FRESH WATER INFUSION

We have been warned that there would be massive saltwater fish kills due to the fresh water infusion into the saltwater environment from melting ice pack. This sounds reasonable on its face. If you go back to the Hydrologic Cycle, we have rivers running into the sea all over the world. Examine The Mississippi River . It is the third largest drainage basin in the entire world. Its flow rate is 4 million gallons per second. Now ice melting could never equal that flow and in spite of it, there are no saltwater fish kills at the mouth of the Mississippi River . This is due to the Diffusion Principle. You can be reminded of that Diffusion Principle back to the urination in the pool.

POLAR BEARS DROWNING DUE TO MELTING ICE PACK

If you look up in any scientific text, you will find that polar bears are classified as marine mammals like seals or walrus. You will also note that in that text, it will tell you that polar bears can swim 60 miles non-stop at a speed of 6 mph, more than twice as fast as a human. Drowning is not a factor in a healthy polar bear.

POLAR BEARS STARVING DUE TO MELTING ICE PACK

Polar bears primary diet is seal pups. Seals try and protect their pups by hiding them in snow caves below the ice surface. Bears smell the pups in the caves and try and catch them by breaking the ice surface to reach the cave and the pup. Bears are only successful in about 1 out of 6 attempts. If the ice pack melted, then the seals would be forced to having their pups on land. This would result in a veritable buffet of seal pups for the bears, thus causing the bear population to actually increase due to the extra food available. It is a little known fact that animals increase or decrease their rate of reproduction according to the available food in their habitat.

GLOBAL WARMING DUE TO FREON EATING A HOLE IN THE OZONE

Remember that scare tactic back in the 1970’s? Scientists have quietly backed away from that claim. This is because we outlawed Freon in 1989 and it has made no difference in the ozone. The difference it has made is to increase the cost of an alternative coolant over 500%. Despite the fact that their theory was disproved, scientists have not made such an admission and pushed for re-legalization of Freon which is much cheaper for cooling.

Confronted with this contradiction to their theory, scientists are now claiming that it is CO2 which is causing a “Green House Effect”. There was never an actual hole in the ozone. There was only a seasonal shift in the thickness of the ozone layer at the poles. The thinning is a natural occurrence due to the fact that it at the poles where the earth spins on its axis. This would naturally cause what is defined as a vortex. You see a thinning of the air in the center of a tornado which is another naturally occurring vortex. The thinning changes during the seasons because of Boyles Law and Charles Law of Gasses. Scientists never bothered to explain their theory in view of the evidence that: Gasses have no magical magnetic properties that would cause them to race thousands of miles to the poles and then magically re-concentrate themselves into this toxic soup to eat a hole in the ozone. They also did not bother to explain how Freon could then rise up into the Troposphere where the thinning occurs since Freon is a heavier than air gas weighing 134% more than air. Scientists also did not bother to explain why there was no atmospheric thinning over the land masses in the warmer climates like Florida and California and Mexico where the Freon was actually released.

Global Cooling

NASA quietly and without fanfare corrected their temperature records because a blogger reminded them that the warmest year on record was actually back in 1934 during the Great Dust Bowls. This is long before the expansion of the Industrial Revolution and its corresponding increases of CO2.

We have had atmospheric cooling for the last 8 years with record lows being set around the world. For example, San Francisco never got above 71 degrees in June this year for the first time ever since we have been keeping temperature records. This flies in the face of global warming theory and is an utter contradiction. Scientists and Mr. Gore have quietly changed their rhetoric to talk about “climate change” instead of global warming in the face of overwhelming evidence.

Now that Congress is poised to inflict carbon taxes and Cap and Trade legislation, it would behoove us to look at both sides of the issue which are conspicuously absent in the mainstream media. Carbon taxes are sure to be a business killer. We are in a deep recession with thousands of businesses going belly up. There are tens of thousands more businesses, just barely hanging on. President Obama said during his campaign he “he would tax businesses out of business if they did not meet his carbon requirements”. Businesses need to start lobbying Congress for their own survival.

What then as a society should be our role? Should we blindly accept increased costs and taxes based upon a flawed and disproved theory ? My answer is no, what is yours? What will you do about it to give voice to your concerns?</


Sex and The Bible, Suprising Sex Positive Messages

February 9, 2011

Sex And The Bible, Surprising Sex Positive Messages Contained There

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I originally posted this blog back of February last year. I was just starting out and did not have very many readers. Now a lot of people read my blog every day and I commend it to you for the sex positive messages contained in it.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Most people would be surprised at the amount of biblical commands in the Bible about sex. They would be even more surprised at the number of positive commands regarding our sex lives. God wants us to have a rich full sexual relationship.Unfortunately, most people have the notion that you are not supposed to talk about sex in church. As a former minister of youth, I was castigated by some parents for teaching a high school class on the subject of what the bible defines as sexual sin. I was told: “you are not supposed to talk about sex in church.” I was singularly amazed because the Bible is what sets the standards for our life. It gives us rules for living. It also defines what is and is not sexual sin. These parents were actually mad at me for teaching the Bible in Sunday School to high school students whose hormones were all raging. It was interesting because the pastor’s 16 year old daughter was in on the class with her parent’s knowledge and blessing. I had thought about telling the parents in advance what I was going to teach, but thought better of it for fear that they would yank their kids out of the class that week. I knew enough to be prepared for the attack.

Jesus said in the Bible to: be wise as a serpent and yet harmless as a dove. Mathew 10:16. Following that mandate, I took the precaution of audio taping the class. I did not want there to be unfounded accusations that could not be defended against. Sure enough parents came in “guns blazing” and accusatory. I simply told them before they started castigating me they should take the tape home and listen to it and see what they found that was wrong or inappropriate. Of the three sets of parents who complained, not one of them would take the tape home and listen to it.
These feelings come about from long standing admonitions to little girls who grew up with the words of their parents in their ears, that: “good girls don’t do that”. That is a huge problem among couples today. When girls grow up to be women and it is time to embrace their sexuality, they can’t relax and be uninhibited with their husbands and enjoy their sexuality.

In a previous chapter, I referred to a course taught by a woman named Marabelle Morgan about how to love your husband including sexuality. We had her seminar coming to our church in 1975. Women were to read the book before the seminar took place.
We had some women object to the seminar conference because it contained sexual references as to how a woman is supposed to take care of her husband. This feeling prevails even today in churches. My question is: Do you think that God made a mistake? How about those references in the Bible about sex? Should we tear those out of the Bible? Pastors and Sunday school teachers don’t dare teach or preach on the subject. What happens is invariably you have women going on the attack and using shaming statements if men mention sex, especially in light of the fact that women are not fulfilling their role

Couples fight about the big three: money, sex and kids. The bible is very clear on sexual issues between husband and wife. Because fighting is common over sex, there is a scripturally mandated ministry in Titus 2:4-5 That they (the older women of the church) may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, (how to love including answering sexual questions), to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed. KJV

In essence, the Titus 2 ministry amounts to a school for sex for women in how to love their husbands. It was so imperative that it was explained in the scripture that it was to avoid causing blaspheming the Word of God.
Blasphemed translated from the Greek is blasphemeo. To: insult, slander, curse, speak evil of, reviled, defame, or railed upon.

As mentioned in the chapter on feminists, research shows that fully 60% of women only want sex once a week. Sadly they inflict that schedule on their husbands. This was also common in the biblical times. Now I know that there are exceptions and sometimes it is the wife with a high libido and a husband who does not want it as much. Our purpose is to cover the majority of the people out there. We will consider what the bible says as we are commanded to do in living our lives.

It says in Proverbs5:18-19 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as a loving hind and a pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee At All Times; and be thou Ravished Always with her love.
Most women feel that they have a perfect right to reject her husband’s sexual overtures any time she feels like it. This is what is taught by the feminists. On the other hand, when is the last time that you ever saw a feminist point anyone to Jesus? Is there any thing in the above passage that you could interpret to get that permission? “ Let her breasts satisfy thee At all times” means when the husband needs it. At all times means just that. It is really not open to interpretation. When the wife disobeys these biblical commands, it sets up a temptation for the husband and it ultimately means that the Word (instruction in the bible) is blasphemed.

The Bible often uses figurative and poetic speech to describe something. “Let thy fountain be blessed” is referring to the man’s penis. It is a wish and an admonition that he be gifted with children and that his wife takes care of him well.

“ Rejoice with the wife of your youth” is an interesting passage. God understood the sexual urge that he put into mankind. He set it out that under Jewish law, a boy was considered a “man” when he hit age 13, or roughly at the onset of puberty. Once puberty hits, he is full of raging hormones and needs sexual relief often sometimes more than once a day. To avoid sexual sin, adolescents were routinely married between the ages of 13 and 15 thus giving them a legal and moral sexual outlet for their relief. The young couple would then stay with one of the sets of parents until they were able to financially make it on their own.We have trampled on God’s plan and tell our children to wait until their twenties to get married. Is it any wonder that we have so much extra marital sex, unwanted pregnancies, and epidemic sexually transmitted diseases.

“ Let her be as a loving hind and a pleasant roe.” Again the bible uses figurative language here to compare a woman to a hind and a roe. The animals referred to here are deer and roebucks. In the animal world, mating is often marked with violence. You have heard cats squalling and hissing. The female goes through a lot of aggression and scratching before she submits to mating. Deer are just the opposite. They willingly mate with their bucks. They are probably the most beautiful and graceful animals in the animal kingdom. This is a supreme compliment to a woman to compare her mating with her husband like a female deer mating with her buck. The Bible goes on to reiterate this in comparing her to the roe or roebuck which is a type of mountain sheep, where mating takes place high on mountain cliffs. If the female roebuck does not mate willingly and cooperatively with the buck, then they could easily fall to their deaths from the high mountain cliffs where mating takes place, protected from predators.

Ravished always is a biblical word for not only giving your husband sex, but giving him GREAT SEX. Not just great sex, but again the always is reiterated. Always means always not just when you feel like it. The bible forbids us to be a “stumbling block” in Romans 14:13, Mathew 18:7. A stumbling block is causing someone by your actions or inactions that would cause that person to be tempted to sin. By denying your husband sex, you are a stumbling block to him.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevelolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife doth not have power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one another, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, so that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence. I Corinthians 7:3-5

If you read this, there is no way that you can interpret that the wife has a right to say no to her husband. Nevertheless, so many of you do with impunity in defiance of God’s word. The Bible is always equalitarian. Notice too that the husband does not have the right to refuse his wife sexual relations. The only time that sex is supposed to be put on hold is with Mutual Consent by the husband and wife for a brief time of prayer and fasting.

So many women try to relate to their husband’s sexuality through their own. Men’s sexuality is driven by semen build-up. Remember the time when you were pregnant. It is a fact of life that a pregnant woman has to urinate more often because the baby is pressing on your bladder. You can’t help it. Now let us play role reversal here for a minute. Think about your husband feeling the same way as you do, because that is what a man’s sexual drive feels like. He does not have a choice when he needs relief. Let us role play here further. Imagine that you are in a car with him on a long trip and you are pregnant. You say: “honey, can you pull over because I have to go to the bathroom.” Now let us pretend that your husband answers you like so many women answer their husband’s requests for sex: “ What you have to pee again, is that all you can ever think about? Do you have a one track mind? What are you some kind of peeing pervert? I am tired; I don’t feel like pulling over. Leave me alone and quit bugging me. Listen, maybe tomorrow I will pull over and let you pee”. You women would declare war on us if we talked to you that way when you had to pee.

For the most part women want sex once a week. For the most part men want sex 3-5 times a week. Let us compromise and say you give it to him 4 times a week. I can just hear the screams and howls from you women now. ” No Way Am, I Doing It That Often”. The average act takes about 30 minutes start to finish. If you actually gave your husband sex 4 times a week, that would come to two hours. Now out of 168 hours in the week, that represents only slightly more than 1% of your time. I say that if you can’t give your husband 1% of your time to nurture him and love him, your priorities are all wrong. God wants 10% and you can’t give your husband a lousy 1%? This is why most men are not very romantic, they figure, why bother? Most women don’t understand that it is the woman that inspires men to romance by how they treat him. From the time that you were a little girl, you dreamed about Happily Ever After. The problem with that dream is that has always been self-centered. You imagine the prince gazing upon you with rapt attention, but you never understand that the prince has needs that you need to satisfy. I have never heard if a woman thinking about what her responsibilities to fulfilling his happily ever after wants and desires. Because you don’t satisfy them, he stops being romantic.

God in the Old Testament allowed multiple wives and concubines for men to be able to satisfy their generally higher sex drives. God allowed this so that men would not commit adultery. If the first wife turned him down for sex, he had back-up wives and/or concubines to take care of him sexually. In the Old Testament there are 121 references to multiple wives. There are also 39 references to men having concubines to satisfy their sexual desires which God allowed. God even specified laws to protect the wives and the concubines. Then in God’s progressive revelation, He changed it to where there was one man and one woman and it transitioned in Proverbs 31. The heart of the husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31: 11-12. Now many bible translators of newer modern language bibles incorrectly translate the Hebrew word for spoil here as meaning earthly gain. This is incorrect. The old fashioned term spoil comes from the spoils of war. This is where the invading army got to go in and take things from the homes of the killed opposing soldiers. Now it is true that spoil would be acquisition of goods from the houses, but it was also women that God allowed. In the Proverbs 31 passage, it is referring to concubines.

Spoil is both a noun and a verb. Sadad is a verb and the Hebrew word in the Old Testament meaning to: loot, plunder, or take spoils. Once the soldiers took all that they wanted, then they generally destroyed the houses and stuff that they did not want. This is one of the ways that Armies rewarded soldiers to literally risk death and put their lives on the line. The promise was that if they were victorious, they could go in and take rewards from the homes of the dead soldiers. You may have heard the term rape and pillage. This is what happened when the victorious soldiers came into the conquered cities. They would go through the houses and claim the women that they wanted by raping them and taking them captive. Once that was done then they ransacked the houses, taking any goods of value for their own. This act was called pillaging or spoiling.

Sod is a noun in Hebrew. It means what is left after the violence, rape and destruction. It means: desolation, destruction, spoiled, oppression and wasting. There are actually 11 different words in Hebrew for spoil.
One of the main things that they took were the women who were then destined to become secondary wives called concubines with a status only slightly above a slave. When the primary wife refused her husband’s sexual overtures, then it fell to the concubine to satisfy the man’s needs. Interestingly enough, the word for concubine in Hebrew is literally pilages. So in other words, the word pilages was literally transliterated out of the Hebrew and put into the English language equivalent word pillage.
And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goodsBut all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. Numbers 31:9,18

But the women and the little ones, and the cattle, and the spoil thereof, shall you take unto yourself, and you shall eat the spoil of your enemies which the Lord your God has given to you. Deuteronomy 20:14

When you go forth to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God has delivered them into your hand and you have taken them captive, And you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you have a desire for her, that you would have her to be your wife; Then you shall bring her home to your house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in your house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month; and after that you shall go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be your wife. Deuteronomy 21:10-13

Have they not divided the prey, to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

Well Proverbs 31 is a transition to a having only one wife and no concubines. Here means that he shall have only one. This wife is now obligated to satisfy all of his sexual needs. She honors his trust in her by taking care of him sexually. It reiterates that she shall do him good and not evil all the days of her life. This was a huge transition time. Because the father was expected to take a more active role in rearing his children, he could not do that with multiple children with multiple wives. Transitioning to only one wife then allowed him fewer children to take care of. It also strengthened the family unit. With that in mind, how can you say that denying your husband sexual relations is doing him good?

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:23

When a wife gives her husband sex willingly and lovingly and does not deny him, he becomes centered and balanced. He has a feeling of contentedness. This enables him to focus on his business or job and be quite productive which allows him to excel. This excellence gets him promotions, more money and respect of his peers and superiors.

It is further evidenced in the conclusion of Proverbs 31:28 where it states: Her children arise up, and call her blessed: her husband also, and he praises her. Men complain among themselves when their wives don’t take care of their sexual needs. On the other hand, if she does, he literally sings hers praises and tells people how lucky he is to have her. It is this feeling that causes him to do romantic things for her. Women, like it or not, if you want romance, you have to take care of your husband’s needs in such a way that he literally feels inspired to romance you. If you are not taking care of him, believe me, he has no desire or inspiration to romance you, only to resent you for starving him sexually.

This point is illustrated by the following Biblical passage: He (she) who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly. II Corinthians 9:6 He wants sex, you want romance. Starve him for sex; you will be starved for romance.

Finally, as parents and our parents have done, we have put so much emphasis on “thou shalt not” to daughters, many can’t relax and enjoy their sexuality as the gift that God made it and intended for it. As a coach, this is a common thing that I work with women on. Freeing them from inhibitions to enjoy their sexuality. The bible addresses this issue in part in Hebrews 13:4 where it says:

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled;

This means that there is nothing that you and your husband can do in bed that is wrong. This also freed the couple from the Old Testament laws of cleanness. For example in the Old Testament couples were forbidden to have sex during a woman’s period. She could not even go into the temple during her period. Also, if the couple had sex the night before temple, they were required to go through ceremonial washing 7 times before they were allowed to go into the temple. They were also required to wash the bed linens as well before going into the temple. So Hebrews 13:4 negated all of those Old Testament laws of cleanness.

You need to relax, enjoy your sexuality and understand that biblically you don’t have the right to say no. If you give it willingly and lovingly I promise that you will see your husband be much more attentive and actually develop some romantic tendencies. Whether or not the relationship succeeds or fails is largely up to you the wife. I will leave you with one last biblical warning:

“ Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one plucks it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1

The house being referred to here is her husband as in the house of David. We are not talking about actual construction issues. The Bible here is referring to building up your man with praise and respect. It also builds his self esteem when you give him sex willingly and lovingly

Let me give you some surprising biblical passages from the Song of Solomon:

A bundle of myrrh is my beloved unto me: he shall lie all night between my breasts. 1:13

I have a slang term for this that I call titty nuzzling. Sometimes when men are hurting and needing comfort, they want to get their face between your breasts, nuzzle, suckle and have you wrap your arms around his head and stroke him and comfort him.

I found him whom my soul loves: I held him and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother’s house. 3:4

You can just imagine this woman wrapping her arm around his arm tightly and pressing her breast against the back of his arm and walking with him.
Your two breasts are like two young does that are twins that feed among the lilies. 4:5 Here her man is admiring her breasts that she has already given to him willingly and lovingly and he is inspired to romance.

Your lips, Oh my spouse, drop as honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue;

Here again the man is inspired to romance as he is describing how wonderful it is to kiss her what it feels like to get oral sex from her willingly and lovingly given.

This your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like clusters of grapes. I said, I will go up to the palm tree I will take hold of the boughs thereof; now also your breasts shall be as clusters of the vine7:7-8

Again the man is waxing poetic over the physical love and sex he enjoys from his wife. Clearly this woman is not saying no to sex with he husband. He describes how much he enjoys fondling her breasts.

I am my beloved’s and his desire is unto me. 7:10

The woman is glorying in the fact that her husband is faithful and loving to her because of how well she takes care of his sexual needs and feels good about herself, her husband and her marriage and how romantic he is to her. She feels loved cherished and secure, all because of the fact that she willingly and lovingly takes care of his sexual desires.

Try it God’s way for 30 days and you will be amazed at the difference in your marriage and ultimate happiness. Happily Ever After is possible if you follow God’s plan for marriage.

Finally let me once again reiterate to you women, if you want romance, you need to provide inspiration to your man by giving him sex willingly and lovingly when he needs it. You do not ever put him down for his sexuality. Women inspire men to romance and they are also the one’s who kill romance by their own actions. I ask you directly, what are you doing to romance your husband? Answer the question to yourself honestly. If you need to make improvements, make them and reap the benefits. Romance can’t be all one-sided.

For those of you who are Christians and attend church, go to your pastor and ask him why he has not taught or preached on these issues. He is responsible for teaching the whole Bible, not just selectively ignoring issues. Church is the most appropriate place to learn about sex. All you ever hear in church is negatives about sex. This is wrong. We need to be teaching people what a wonderful gift from God that sex is and can be.


Be Her Best Lover Ever, Great Sex Techniques Illustrated

February 3, 2011

This is a guest post from Men’s Health. The have sometimes great articles on sex and how to do it better. Enjoy and blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Be Her Best Lover Ever, Great Sex Techniques Illustrated

Until a few years ago, my sex life was like an endless TiVo loop of Lost. I wasn’t sure where I was or what I should do, and there were startling noises in the dark. For my girlfriends, each episode was frustrating—all tease, no climax.

Today I’m off the island, relieved and happy. I have a Ph.D. in clinical sexology, which is a fancy way of saying I’ve done my share of analysis and have, I think, deciphered the code of female sexual satisfaction.

In short, I’ve figured out what the heck is going on. It’s mostly a matter of tuning in to her body and needs. Here’s a synopsis, including the “tools” needed to find your way out of the wilderness and lead her to happiness.

Rope-a-Dope

For: Clitoral stimulation
Tool: Tongue

This is named after Muhammad Ali’s strategy for toppling George Foreman. Ali stood there for seven rounds before springing to life and sending the tired Foreman to the mat. When it comes to cunnilingus, be like Ali:

• Conserve your energy, letting her do most of the work as she presses and grinds on your tongue. Start with slow, rhythmic tongue strokes. Try a long, easy ice-cream lick from bottom to top that covers the full span of her inner labia and ends with her clitoral head. No matter how worked up she becomes, keep it slow and easy, and consistent. Tease her into delirium, then . . .
• Hit her with a series of fast vertical and diagonal tongue strokes on her clitoris. Then . . .
• Return to slow, easy strokes.
• Repeat until she’s out cold.

Why it works: This method eases her gently into clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is extremely sensitive at the outset. You’ll start her blood flowing while offering the consistent stimulation she needs. The bursts of vigor add surprise, spike her sexual response, and keep her moving toward orgasm.
Heart of Palm

For: Clitoral stimulation, with optional G-spot stimulation
Tools: Your hands

Women never forget a nice pair of hands. Make yours memorable.

• Rest on your side. You have all night.
• Place your hand over her vulva, pressing on her pubic mound with the base of your palm. Let your fingers drape against her entire vulva.
• Let her push against your palm, and use your index and middle fingers to make rhythmic come-hither gestures along her vaginal entrance.
• Lightly stimulate her clitoral head with your fingertips. Gently pinch her labia.
• For variety, insert two fingers, pressing them up against the front wall of her vagina, simultaneously stimulating her clitoris and G-spot.

Why it works: This stimulates her entire vulva, the location of nerve endings that are often ignored. While she’s pushing her clitoris into your palm, you’re free to do some fancy fingerwork.

Head-to-Head

For: Clitoral stimulation
Tool: Penis

Think of your penis as one of many tools in your sexual survival kit—not your only weapon. And remember to use it outside her vagina occasionally.

• Focus on shallow thrusts. In the missionary position, barely penetrate her vagina. Let your penis rest just inside her.
• Linger. Loiter. Meander. Press the head of your penis against her clitoral head. Or press the shaft of your penis against her clitoris and gently thrust between the folds of her labia without entering her.
• When you penetrate deeply, press your pelvic bone against her clitoris and hold the position.

Why it works: You’re hitting hot spots. Many of the nerve endings that contribute to orgasm are on the surface of her vulva and within the first inch or so of her vaginal entrance. When you penetrate deeply and hold, the sense of closeness combined with the clitoral sensation will overwhelm her.

Upward and Onward

For: G-spot stimulation
Tools: Hands, vibrator, penis

Her G-spot, which is the diameter of a dime, is on the front wall of her vagina, a few inches in. You can feel it swell during arousal. Think of it as more of an area than a spot. It responds to firmer pressure than the clitoris does, so your fingers or a vibrator will sometimes work better than your penis.

• Place an inch or two of a vibrator inside her vagina, then lift the vibrator to press her G-spot. Bring her legs together around the vibrator and stimulate her clitoris with your tongue.
• During intercourse, stimulate her G-spot by entering her from behind and pressing down on it. Use one hand to massage her pubic mound, which will stimulate her G-spot from the outside.

Why it works: G-spot orgasms don’t happen independently of clitoral orgasms. New research suggests that the spot may be the root of the clitoris. Always try to combine clitoral and G-spot stimulation, or at least alternate regularly.

The Multiple Warhead

For: Multiple orgasms
Tools: Tongue, hand, penis, vibrator, patience

The best time to prove the phrase “There’s more to sex than just orgasm” is after she’s had one. (You are so damn understanding!) Women can have multiple orgasms because they retain blood in the pelvic area after orgasm. Her clitoris just needs a bit of recovery time because it becomes overly sensitive after orgasm.

• Return to foreplay. Focus on gentle full-body stimulation, then . . .
• Gradually introduce clitoral stimulation. Use a hand to gently tease her vulva—you can use a fingertip to trace the perimeter of her inner labia, or let her press into your palm and take the lead.

And finally: Remember to end on a high note. To paraphrase the pioneering sexologist Theodoor H. Van de Velde, it’s in the moments after orgasm that a man proves if he’s an “erotically civilized” adult. Translation: Don’t forget to cuddle.


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