Sex and The Bible, Suprising Sex Positive Messages

Sex And The Bible, Surprising Sex Positive Messages Contained There

I originally posted this blog back of February last year. I was just starting out and did not have very many readers. Now a lot of people read my blog every day and I commend it to you for the sex positive messages contained in it.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Most people would be surprised at the amount of biblical commands in the Bible about sex. They would be even more surprised at the number of positive commands regarding our sex lives. God wants us to have a rich full sexual relationship.Unfortunately, most people have the notion that you are not supposed to talk about sex in church. As a former minister of youth, I was castigated by some parents for teaching a high school class on the subject of what the bible defines as sexual sin. I was told: “you are not supposed to talk about sex in church.” I was singularly amazed because the Bible is what sets the standards for our life. It gives us rules for living. It also defines what is and is not sexual sin. These parents were actually mad at me for teaching the Bible in Sunday School to high school students whose hormones were all raging. It was interesting because the pastor’s 16 year old daughter was in on the class with her parent’s knowledge and blessing. I had thought about telling the parents in advance what I was going to teach, but thought better of it for fear that they would yank their kids out of the class that week. I knew enough to be prepared for the attack.

Jesus said in the Bible to: be wise as a serpent and yet harmless as a dove. Mathew 10:16. Following that mandate, I took the precaution of audio taping the class. I did not want there to be unfounded accusations that could not be defended against. Sure enough parents came in “guns blazing” and accusatory. I simply told them before they started castigating me they should take the tape home and listen to it and see what they found that was wrong or inappropriate. Of the three sets of parents who complained, not one of them would take the tape home and listen to it.
These feelings come about from long standing admonitions to little girls who grew up with the words of their parents in their ears, that: “good girls don’t do that”. That is a huge problem among couples today. When girls grow up to be women and it is time to embrace their sexuality, they can’t relax and be uninhibited with their husbands and enjoy their sexuality.

In a previous chapter, I referred to a course taught by a woman named Marabelle Morgan about how to love your husband including sexuality. We had her seminar coming to our church in 1975. Women were to read the book before the seminar took place.
We had some women object to the seminar conference because it contained sexual references as to how a woman is supposed to take care of her husband. This feeling prevails even today in churches. My question is: Do you think that God made a mistake? How about those references in the Bible about sex? Should we tear those out of the Bible? Pastors and Sunday school teachers don’t dare teach or preach on the subject. What happens is invariably you have women going on the attack and using shaming statements if men mention sex, especially in light of the fact that women are not fulfilling their role

Couples fight about the big three: money, sex and kids. The bible is very clear on sexual issues between husband and wife. Because fighting is common over sex, there is a scripturally mandated ministry in Titus 2:4-5 That they (the older women of the church) may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, (how to love including answering sexual questions), to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed. KJV

In essence, the Titus 2 ministry amounts to a school for sex for women in how to love their husbands. It was so imperative that it was explained in the scripture that it was to avoid causing blaspheming the Word of God.
Blasphemed translated from the Greek is blasphemeo. To: insult, slander, curse, speak evil of, reviled, defame, or railed upon.

As mentioned in the chapter on feminists, research shows that fully 60% of women only want sex once a week. Sadly they inflict that schedule on their husbands. This was also common in the biblical times. Now I know that there are exceptions and sometimes it is the wife with a high libido and a husband who does not want it as much. Our purpose is to cover the majority of the people out there. We will consider what the bible says as we are commanded to do in living our lives.

It says in Proverbs5:18-19 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as a loving hind and a pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee At All Times; and be thou Ravished Always with her love.
Most women feel that they have a perfect right to reject her husband’s sexual overtures any time she feels like it. This is what is taught by the feminists. On the other hand, when is the last time that you ever saw a feminist point anyone to Jesus? Is there any thing in the above passage that you could interpret to get that permission? “ Let her breasts satisfy thee At all times” means when the husband needs it. At all times means just that. It is really not open to interpretation. When the wife disobeys these biblical commands, it sets up a temptation for the husband and it ultimately means that the Word (instruction in the bible) is blasphemed.

The Bible often uses figurative and poetic speech to describe something. “Let thy fountain be blessed” is referring to the man’s penis. It is a wish and an admonition that he be gifted with children and that his wife takes care of him well.

“ Rejoice with the wife of your youth” is an interesting passage. God understood the sexual urge that he put into mankind. He set it out that under Jewish law, a boy was considered a “man” when he hit age 13, or roughly at the onset of puberty. Once puberty hits, he is full of raging hormones and needs sexual relief often sometimes more than once a day. To avoid sexual sin, adolescents were routinely married between the ages of 13 and 15 thus giving them a legal and moral sexual outlet for their relief. The young couple would then stay with one of the sets of parents until they were able to financially make it on their own.We have trampled on God’s plan and tell our children to wait until their twenties to get married. Is it any wonder that we have so much extra marital sex, unwanted pregnancies, and epidemic sexually transmitted diseases.

“ Let her be as a loving hind and a pleasant roe.” Again the bible uses figurative language here to compare a woman to a hind and a roe. The animals referred to here are deer and roebucks. In the animal world, mating is often marked with violence. You have heard cats squalling and hissing. The female goes through a lot of aggression and scratching before she submits to mating. Deer are just the opposite. They willingly mate with their bucks. They are probably the most beautiful and graceful animals in the animal kingdom. This is a supreme compliment to a woman to compare her mating with her husband like a female deer mating with her buck. The Bible goes on to reiterate this in comparing her to the roe or roebuck which is a type of mountain sheep, where mating takes place high on mountain cliffs. If the female roebuck does not mate willingly and cooperatively with the buck, then they could easily fall to their deaths from the high mountain cliffs where mating takes place, protected from predators.

Ravished always is a biblical word for not only giving your husband sex, but giving him GREAT SEX. Not just great sex, but again the always is reiterated. Always means always not just when you feel like it. The bible forbids us to be a “stumbling block” in Romans 14:13, Mathew 18:7. A stumbling block is causing someone by your actions or inactions that would cause that person to be tempted to sin. By denying your husband sex, you are a stumbling block to him.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevelolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife doth not have power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one another, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, so that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence. I Corinthians 7:3-5

If you read this, there is no way that you can interpret that the wife has a right to say no to her husband. Nevertheless, so many of you do with impunity in defiance of God’s word. The Bible is always equalitarian. Notice too that the husband does not have the right to refuse his wife sexual relations. The only time that sex is supposed to be put on hold is with Mutual Consent by the husband and wife for a brief time of prayer and fasting.

So many women try to relate to their husband’s sexuality through their own. Men’s sexuality is driven by semen build-up. Remember the time when you were pregnant. It is a fact of life that a pregnant woman has to urinate more often because the baby is pressing on your bladder. You can’t help it. Now let us play role reversal here for a minute. Think about your husband feeling the same way as you do, because that is what a man’s sexual drive feels like. He does not have a choice when he needs relief. Let us role play here further. Imagine that you are in a car with him on a long trip and you are pregnant. You say: “honey, can you pull over because I have to go to the bathroom.” Now let us pretend that your husband answers you like so many women answer their husband’s requests for sex: “ What you have to pee again, is that all you can ever think about? Do you have a one track mind? What are you some kind of peeing pervert? I am tired; I don’t feel like pulling over. Leave me alone and quit bugging me. Listen, maybe tomorrow I will pull over and let you pee”. You women would declare war on us if we talked to you that way when you had to pee.

For the most part women want sex once a week. For the most part men want sex 3-5 times a week. Let us compromise and say you give it to him 4 times a week. I can just hear the screams and howls from you women now. ” No Way Am, I Doing It That Often”. The average act takes about 30 minutes start to finish. If you actually gave your husband sex 4 times a week, that would come to two hours. Now out of 168 hours in the week, that represents only slightly more than 1% of your time. I say that if you can’t give your husband 1% of your time to nurture him and love him, your priorities are all wrong. God wants 10% and you can’t give your husband a lousy 1%? This is why most men are not very romantic, they figure, why bother? Most women don’t understand that it is the woman that inspires men to romance by how they treat him. From the time that you were a little girl, you dreamed about Happily Ever After. The problem with that dream is that has always been self-centered. You imagine the prince gazing upon you with rapt attention, but you never understand that the prince has needs that you need to satisfy. I have never heard if a woman thinking about what her responsibilities to fulfilling his happily ever after wants and desires. Because you don’t satisfy them, he stops being romantic.

God in the Old Testament allowed multiple wives and concubines for men to be able to satisfy their generally higher sex drives. God allowed this so that men would not commit adultery. If the first wife turned him down for sex, he had back-up wives and/or concubines to take care of him sexually. In the Old Testament there are 121 references to multiple wives. There are also 39 references to men having concubines to satisfy their sexual desires which God allowed. God even specified laws to protect the wives and the concubines. Then in God’s progressive revelation, He changed it to where there was one man and one woman and it transitioned in Proverbs 31. The heart of the husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31: 11-12. Now many bible translators of newer modern language bibles incorrectly translate the Hebrew word for spoil here as meaning earthly gain. This is incorrect. The old fashioned term spoil comes from the spoils of war. This is where the invading army got to go in and take things from the homes of the killed opposing soldiers. Now it is true that spoil would be acquisition of goods from the houses, but it was also women that God allowed. In the Proverbs 31 passage, it is referring to concubines.

Spoil is both a noun and a verb. Sadad is a verb and the Hebrew word in the Old Testament meaning to: loot, plunder, or take spoils. Once the soldiers took all that they wanted, then they generally destroyed the houses and stuff that they did not want. This is one of the ways that Armies rewarded soldiers to literally risk death and put their lives on the line. The promise was that if they were victorious, they could go in and take rewards from the homes of the dead soldiers. You may have heard the term rape and pillage. This is what happened when the victorious soldiers came into the conquered cities. They would go through the houses and claim the women that they wanted by raping them and taking them captive. Once that was done then they ransacked the houses, taking any goods of value for their own. This act was called pillaging or spoiling.

Sod is a noun in Hebrew. It means what is left after the violence, rape and destruction. It means: desolation, destruction, spoiled, oppression and wasting. There are actually 11 different words in Hebrew for spoil.
One of the main things that they took were the women who were then destined to become secondary wives called concubines with a status only slightly above a slave. When the primary wife refused her husband’s sexual overtures, then it fell to the concubine to satisfy the man’s needs. Interestingly enough, the word for concubine in Hebrew is literally pilages. So in other words, the word pilages was literally transliterated out of the Hebrew and put into the English language equivalent word pillage.
And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goodsBut all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. Numbers 31:9,18

But the women and the little ones, and the cattle, and the spoil thereof, shall you take unto yourself, and you shall eat the spoil of your enemies which the Lord your God has given to you. Deuteronomy 20:14

When you go forth to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God has delivered them into your hand and you have taken them captive, And you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you have a desire for her, that you would have her to be your wife; Then you shall bring her home to your house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in your house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month; and after that you shall go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be your wife. Deuteronomy 21:10-13

Have they not divided the prey, to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

Well Proverbs 31 is a transition to a having only one wife and no concubines. Here means that he shall have only one. This wife is now obligated to satisfy all of his sexual needs. She honors his trust in her by taking care of him sexually. It reiterates that she shall do him good and not evil all the days of her life. This was a huge transition time. Because the father was expected to take a more active role in rearing his children, he could not do that with multiple children with multiple wives. Transitioning to only one wife then allowed him fewer children to take care of. It also strengthened the family unit. With that in mind, how can you say that denying your husband sexual relations is doing him good?

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:23

When a wife gives her husband sex willingly and lovingly and does not deny him, he becomes centered and balanced. He has a feeling of contentedness. This enables him to focus on his business or job and be quite productive which allows him to excel. This excellence gets him promotions, more money and respect of his peers and superiors.

It is further evidenced in the conclusion of Proverbs 31:28 where it states: Her children arise up, and call her blessed: her husband also, and he praises her. Men complain among themselves when their wives don’t take care of their sexual needs. On the other hand, if she does, he literally sings hers praises and tells people how lucky he is to have her. It is this feeling that causes him to do romantic things for her. Women, like it or not, if you want romance, you have to take care of your husband’s needs in such a way that he literally feels inspired to romance you. If you are not taking care of him, believe me, he has no desire or inspiration to romance you, only to resent you for starving him sexually.

This point is illustrated by the following Biblical passage: He (she) who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly. II Corinthians 9:6 He wants sex, you want romance. Starve him for sex; you will be starved for romance.

Finally, as parents and our parents have done, we have put so much emphasis on “thou shalt not” to daughters, many can’t relax and enjoy their sexuality as the gift that God made it and intended for it. As a coach, this is a common thing that I work with women on. Freeing them from inhibitions to enjoy their sexuality. The bible addresses this issue in part in Hebrews 13:4 where it says:

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled;

This means that there is nothing that you and your husband can do in bed that is wrong. This also freed the couple from the Old Testament laws of cleanness. For example in the Old Testament couples were forbidden to have sex during a woman’s period. She could not even go into the temple during her period. Also, if the couple had sex the night before temple, they were required to go through ceremonial washing 7 times before they were allowed to go into the temple. They were also required to wash the bed linens as well before going into the temple. So Hebrews 13:4 negated all of those Old Testament laws of cleanness.

You need to relax, enjoy your sexuality and understand that biblically you don’t have the right to say no. If you give it willingly and lovingly I promise that you will see your husband be much more attentive and actually develop some romantic tendencies. Whether or not the relationship succeeds or fails is largely up to you the wife. I will leave you with one last biblical warning:

“ Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one plucks it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1

The house being referred to here is her husband as in the house of David. We are not talking about actual construction issues. The Bible here is referring to building up your man with praise and respect. It also builds his self esteem when you give him sex willingly and lovingly

Let me give you some surprising biblical passages from the Song of Solomon:

A bundle of myrrh is my beloved unto me: he shall lie all night between my breasts. 1:13

I have a slang term for this that I call titty nuzzling. Sometimes when men are hurting and needing comfort, they want to get their face between your breasts, nuzzle, suckle and have you wrap your arms around his head and stroke him and comfort him.

I found him whom my soul loves: I held him and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother’s house. 3:4

You can just imagine this woman wrapping her arm around his arm tightly and pressing her breast against the back of his arm and walking with him.
Your two breasts are like two young does that are twins that feed among the lilies. 4:5 Here her man is admiring her breasts that she has already given to him willingly and lovingly and he is inspired to romance.

Your lips, Oh my spouse, drop as honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue;

Here again the man is inspired to romance as he is describing how wonderful it is to kiss her what it feels like to get oral sex from her willingly and lovingly given.

This your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like clusters of grapes. I said, I will go up to the palm tree I will take hold of the boughs thereof; now also your breasts shall be as clusters of the vine7:7-8

Again the man is waxing poetic over the physical love and sex he enjoys from his wife. Clearly this woman is not saying no to sex with he husband. He describes how much he enjoys fondling her breasts.

I am my beloved’s and his desire is unto me. 7:10

The woman is glorying in the fact that her husband is faithful and loving to her because of how well she takes care of his sexual needs and feels good about herself, her husband and her marriage and how romantic he is to her. She feels loved cherished and secure, all because of the fact that she willingly and lovingly takes care of his sexual desires.

Try it God’s way for 30 days and you will be amazed at the difference in your marriage and ultimate happiness. Happily Ever After is possible if you follow God’s plan for marriage.

Finally let me once again reiterate to you women, if you want romance, you need to provide inspiration to your man by giving him sex willingly and lovingly when he needs it. You do not ever put him down for his sexuality. Women inspire men to romance and they are also the one’s who kill romance by their own actions. I ask you directly, what are you doing to romance your husband? Answer the question to yourself honestly. If you need to make improvements, make them and reap the benefits. Romance can’t be all one-sided.

For those of you who are Christians and attend church, go to your pastor and ask him why he has not taught or preached on these issues. He is responsible for teaching the whole Bible, not just selectively ignoring issues. Church is the most appropriate place to learn about sex. All you ever hear in church is negatives about sex. This is wrong. We need to be teaching people what a wonderful gift from God that sex is and can be.

21 Responses to Sex and The Bible, Suprising Sex Positive Messages

  1. This really answered my problem, thank you!

  2. Could you email me with a few hints & tips on how you made your blog look this cool, I’d be thankful.

  3. Rachel says:

    I would definitely not consider myself a feminist or against what you are saying, however I feel I must point out that the Bible needs to be looked at subjectively. During the time It was written, women were possessions. There is no way to show exactly what this world was like when a woman had absolutely no rights. Nowadays, we do have STDs and health issues that require a woman to say no to her husband. The husband has to treat her like she is his own body, correct? If she’s in pain from a miscarriage, cysts, or the likes, he needs to love her body enough to wait on her to heal. Saying no can also prevent a heated husband from getting STDs like Herpes from the wife, if she hypothetically obtained this virus from before their marriage. I agree with many points in this article, but I also try to look at the Bible from different view points then apply it to this world today.

    • Hey Rachel
      Thanks for your comments. I understand what you are saying but a woman can satisfy her husband in other ways at a time when vaginal
      intercourse is not an option. The bible points to the equality of women, especially in the new testament. I would never suggest that a
      woman is a possesion and that her feelings are not important.

      Blessings on you and yours

      • Rachel says:

        Hey John,

        Not to put up a fight, but I interpret the verse “Your lips, Oh my spouse, drop as honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue” as ONLY refering to kissing because you can only TASTE with your tongue. I do not believe that oral sex is being refered to here because I forgot which verse it is but it condemned sodomy. Now, that being said, I believe that the Bible was really refering to homosexual sodomy; however, there is no way to really prove that when you consider the fact that even in hetersexual marriages, sodomy is still only pleasing to one partner and not both at the same time. Even some states, sodomy is against the law. However, I do NOT condemn it between husband and wife.

        This is going to sound EXTREMELY frank but this is what will happen if it gets to the point the husband believes he should demand some form of sex at any given time despite the well-being of the woman. The husband has to realize if the woman is in a particular pain that causes her to not be able to have vaginal sex, usually that would take away all desire of sex from her and is not undertood that it is a big issue, and to be told to “put this in your mouth anyway,” is extremely inconsiderate. I believe that is to the point of thinking of the wife as a possession or servant. Sex should be like dancing. The wife or the husband can ask but if either one of them starts stepping on toes, they need to take a break until healed, regroup, and practice. But if one partner thinks that its their right and the partner’s problem to deal with the stomping of toes, the situation is getting out of hand. And I am going agree that it does indeed go both ways.

        If I know my husband is not happy, I wouldn’t sit back and I do NOT suggest that any wife do that. There are so many women that do believe they can say no, and do just that, simply to HAVE THEIR HUSBANDS CHASE AFTER THEM per say. However, I have learned to keep a simple approach to things, and I believe he should too. I was lucky to get a guy that is naturally a romantic, and we were both lucky to have found someone that don’t usually have to say “no.”

        Thanks for your comments!

  4. Hey Rachel
    Anal sex is only forbiddent to homosexual men in the old and new testament.
    I have an article on how to have anal sex where the wife enjoys it. Anal only hurts when you are doing it wrong. There are women that can actually climax from anal sex becaues they have G spot orgasm.

    I am not saying that the husband has the right to demand anything, I am telling women that they should willingly and lovingly take care of their husband’s sexual needs. Men generally (although not always) have a higher libido than their wives. When the wife denies him and forces him to masturbate alone, it breeds resentment on the part of the husband.

    Over 40% of women with kids at home have their huisbands on a diet of sex once a week or less indefinitely. I say that this is wrong. In point of fact, I Cor 7 says that neither THE HUSBAND nor the wife has the right to deny their partner sex. Now granted when either is sick that goes without saying, but that is the rare exception rather than the rule.

    Blessings on you and yours

    • Rachel says:


      Having, in my opinion, alot of knowledge on the subject, I don’t see how a guy can hit a G-Spot during anal sex without getting too close to doing serious damage to the intestinal wall. I know that… maybe I should not say that on the website. Well, of course you can stimulate the clitoris but most women would agree when I say that usually doesn’t cut it when the guy is doing anal sex. I have asked my friends a few years ago what they thought about it after forming my own opinion, and they admitted to me that they just “put up with it.” If you have that article you refered to on this website, would you send me a link?

      By the way, I think you misunderstood what I meant by sodomy. Sodomy is both anal and oral sex. And the Bible does say the word “sodomy.”


      • Mindy Snyder says:

        Rachel in the song of songs it reads
        sos 2:3 NIV “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste”
        Near as I can figure that is a description of oral sex.

      • Yes and Proverbs chapter 5 says that a man is supposed to be always ravished in a woman’s
        love which means great sex. You are quite right, it does mean oral sex.

  5. Actually the bible does not say Sodomy. It talks about men lying with men as a woman. There is no forbidding of oral sex in the bible.

    I had a former girlfriend who orgasmed and had female ejaculation doing anal sex.

    Every woman that I have introduced to it, liked it well enough to do it again with me without complaints.

    I will look up the link to the article and send it to you.

  6. You penetrate her shallow just an inch or so in. The best position is with her legs above a man’s shoulders in the missionary position.
    Very fast and very short strokes are the key.

    here is the link

    By the way, you can google this topic and there are other articles on it and women having climaxes from it.

    Blessings on you and yours

  7. TikkTok says:

    Given the length of your post and my limit of time right now, I’ll go verse by verse…. 😀

    Titus 2: 4-5 “4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. “ {NIV}

    Without having read the entire chapter, I won’t assume what is or is not written in it. I will say, however, that those verses don’t say anything about sex. I think it’s an absolute leap to say “That they (the older women of the church) may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, (how to love including answering sexual questions),” and “In essence, the Titus 2 ministry amounts to a school for sex for women in how to love their husbands.”

    Love and sex are two entirely different things, even when being applied to husbands.

    What specific parts of Titus do you consider to make a “ministry” regarding sex? Because the preceding verses

    ” 1 You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
    3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.”

    and the following verses

    “6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

    9 Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10 and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.”

    Again, I’ll have to go over Titus again, but given that it’s a letter written by Paul to Titus (go figure) as an outline of what he needed to do to complete the remaining ministerial work on Crete, I don’t see this as a missive on sex education. And chapter 2 in particular, has to do with issues of conduct- as in, how *everyone* should conduct themselves……..

    Just my two cents, of course. :mrgreen:

  8. John Wilder says:

    Hey Tikktok
    Of course the whole thing is not a missive on sex. I was referring only to the part where it instructs the older women of the church to teach the younger women of the church how to love their husbands.
    The inference is sexually.. It was quite common for kids to get married in their very early teens so as to deal with the raging hormones and for the couple to live with a set of parents until they could afford to move out on their own. Naturally it would be a big switch for a 13-15 year old girl to take on sex and all that it involves. So as to avoid fighting with the couple, the older women of the church assured the young girls that yes sex was okay and that their husbands were not perverts. That particular part ends with “so that the word of God not be blasphemed.”

    Part of my issue is that you use the NIV which is riddled with errors in the text because it is not an actual word for word translation but instead purports to translate thoughts instead of words. You might consider googling the errors in the NIV.

    The Titus reference was only one small part of the whole blog post.


    • TikkTok says:

      There isn’t ANY English translation that is completely “accurate” (in particular the 2011 NIV which recently came out- as far as I know, this passage wasn’t modified from older editions, but when I get time, I’ll compare ), imo. Translation is a sticking point, although I do believe that it’s ok to not be exactly right so long as you aren’t completely wrong and miss the point entirely. 🙂

      We’ll have to disagree that it’s sexul inference, though. While that may certainly part of the instruction passed along, Paul was never shy talking about actual sex when that is specifically what he meant.

      When you take those verses in context, it seems pretty clear that it’s absolutely NOT {just} about sex, because it’s about conduct- for the slave; for the man; for the woman. Marriage is not a large part of this missive at all, as is evidenced by the surrounding text, and sex isn’t even mentioned.

      Paul being Paul, given his words in other places {books of the Bible} that had sexual direction to the younger women been something he felt was critically important, he would have said so. It may have been loosely implied as part of the teaching on how to love, but it certainly was not a key component of it.

      Honestly, “women” weren’t exactly valued then; and considered property; freely used as chatal in bargaining and in contracts. Men in general didn’t really CARE about a woman’s happiness or sexual fulfillment; her role was to be subservient to her husband.

      And, in particular, this is telling Titus what to teach older men and older women. Here are the directions:

      1) “Teach the older men to…..” (v2)
      2) “Likewise, teach the older women to….” (v3)
      3) “Similarly, encourage the young men to…” (v6)
      4)”Teach slaves to….” (v9)

      “15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you. ”

      When you read that chapter in context, it’s pretty clear that this is not a sexual handbook for women. 🙂 Taking things out of context to use as “proof” of a particular point is rampant in our society.

      And, as I said in my earlier comment, I am going in bits and pieces because of time constraints (which means I may not get back to this for a few days).

      It’s common knowledge that marital age was considerably different in biblical times.

      When, as the author, information is shared as fact, it’s the responsibility of the author to cite his/her own sources. 🙂

      And now, I’m off the day to go eat dinner with my family. 🙂

  9. Well I would appreciate it if you would read the whole post in context instead of dissecting one point. You are free to disagree with my take on the sexual instruction in Titus 2.

    Actually women in the OT had laws regarding men’s treatment of them and in the NT they are treated as equals as in I Cor 7 both men and women are treated as equals in marriage.


  10. Mindy Snyder says:

    I LOVE this blog soooo much. I do adult parties and feel my calling is to teach couples that God intended for us to have and enjoy GREAT marrital sex. Sex was the first gift God gave couples to share in their marriages it is a sacred and wonderful blessing.

    • I am a former baptist minister who was sick and tired of churches telling little girls that sex
      is bad, dirty and wrong and that good girls don’t do it.l Yea for you in your work.
      Perhaps we should chat on the phone.

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