Advanced Sexual Techniques for Men

March 29, 2011

This is a rough draft chapter from my soon to be finished book. I am looking for critique from those who read it. I struggle with language to use. Some say that I should only use clinical language to describe body parts. Others say that it is too cold and too clinical for something so personal. I am experimenting with using both in the chapter for those who want clinical terms and slang terms for the rest of us. So please leave me constructive criticisms. Add anything that you think that I missed and should have included. This is an interactive piece. The name of the book is going to be SEX EDUCATION FOR ADULTS, SECRETS TO AMAZING SEX AND HAPPILY EVER AFTER TOO! Tell me what you think of the title as well. I want to make this the best book out there on relationships and I truly want to help couples realize their dream of happily ever after.

Every man worries to himself about his adequacy to satisfy a woman in bed. Sadly, learning how to satisfy a woman largely depends upon women telling us what they like and don’t like. Since many women are shy and unwilling to talk about their needs wants and desires in bed, we as men don’t get much reinforcement. Believe me, they do talk to their women friends and family about how good or bad you are in bed. We simply don’t learn much from our sexual encounters and continue to go on giving the women in our lives “inadequate sex”. After talking to a lot of women about their feelings of frustration over the lousy sex that they were getting, I have compiled this report in how to literally drive a woman wild in bed and having her literally begging you to “take her.” These techniques are “field tested and women approved”.

One of the main complaints women have is that there is far too little foreplay by the men. Men are in such a hurry to “get to the destination” and women want to take their time and “enjoy the journey.” I am going to give you foreplay techniques that will literally drive women wild and begging you to take them. The key is that you have to have the patience to follow through with these techniques. If you do, not only will you get the sex, but you will get great sex from a woman who is hugely turned on and wanting you.

I never understand why you guys are in such a hurry to get it done. Sex feels good, why do you want to rush it. Most men love to talk dirty in bed and wish that their woman would talk dirty in bed with them as well. Well men, do you know what a woman’s favorite four letter word is; TIME. You don’t spend enough time building sexual tension in her so that she can climax more easily. If you take your time in foreplay and making love with her, you will find that she is much more agreeable to the things that you want her to do including talking dirty to you in bed.

One of the best foreplay techniques, especially for a woman that you are trying to get into the sack for the first time is starting with hair brushing and then massage. This calms a woman’s nervousness because neither one of these techniques are overtly sexual and therefore are not perceived by them as a threat or trying to get into their pants. What they don’t know is that they will put you in complete control and have her so turned on by the end of it, that she will be pissed at you if you don’t take her.

Let us start with hair brushing. Tell her that women just don’t get enough “pampering” from men and on behalf of all men, you would like to make it up to her personally. Ask her to go and get her hairbrush and come back and sit on the floor in front of you. Have her put a cushion on the floor to sit on so that she is comfortable. Have her lean back against your legs to take the load off of her back. (this already establishes an intimate contact with you, that is still not perceived by her as sexual and so this will not scare her or make her “on guard”). Trust me, she has never had her hair brushed by any other man, and so she will not be on guard, but she will also see you in a whole different light than other men that she has known. You will be multiple “brownie points” ahead of all the other men in her life. You want to be set apart in her mind as “completely different” and heads and tails above the rest. The last thing that you want her thinking in her mind while you are making love with her is that a previous boyfriend did it better to her than you are doing.

Now you spend about a good ten minutes brushing her hair slowly. She will just go into “nirvana”. What she does not realize is that it is releasing “endorphins” into her brain. This predisposes her to further sensory inputs which you will provide. Once she has entered the zone after 10 minutes of hair brushing, you put down the brush and tell her you are going to further pamper her by giving her a nice back rub which will develop into a full body massage. ( you don’t tell her that it will go to a full body rub, or it will make her nervous. In fact the best technique is to not tell her at all, but just take control and start massaging her. Women like men to be self confident and in charge in the bedroom)

You start the massage by stroking her hair and lightly scratching her scalp which is basically a continuation of the hair brushing. Again, she does not perceive this as sexual and further relaxes and let’s her guard down. You then massage and stroke her neck, down her shoulders and her arms. You then proceed down her back down to her lower back. You then just naturally go on down her butt without asking permission. She might momentarily tense up, but you simply ignore it and proceed to massage her butt cheeks thoroughly. You spend a good 5-8 minutes massaging her butt cheeks with a kneading motion. You will connect with nerve endings that she did not even know that she had. These nerve endings are connected to her pussy (vagina)and her clitty(clitoris). She will end up getting sexually aroused which will be evident by her panties getting wet. You then go on down each leg individually massaging them thoroughly including her feet. As you transition from her butt to her thigh, keep one hand on her butt cheek and the other on her inner thigh. Make sure that your hand is massaging her inner thigh right next to her pussy. The fact that your hand is so close to her pussy and that you are not actually touching her pussy will drive her wild with anticipation. It will cause her to start desiring to have sex with you. She will also marvel at your amazing self control because most men would have immediately tried to touch her pussy. You then take your fingertips and start at her face and then stroke down her whole body lightly. You go down her back, back and forth from head to foot about 3 times, and then you turn her over and do the same thing on her front. On the last trip you stroke past her boobs and lightly over her nipples. They will get instantly erect. You trace circles around the nipples and lightly caress her breasts. You then continue down her body all the way down to her toes. On the return trip back up, you stroke up both legs on her inner thighs at the same time. As you go up her inner thighs, you slow way down to slow motion. This builds anticipation and desire on her part and her panties will continue to get wetter. At this time you strip her down to her bra and panties, slowly.

Once you have her down to bra and panties continue to take your time. You then hook a finger inside the leg band of her panties and you stroke up and down without touching her pussy. This will drive her wild with her desiring for you to stroke her pussy (vagina) or (clitoris) clitty. You don’t, you resist the urge to touch them yet. You stroke up and down each leg band of her panties which will hugely turn her on. You then trace the line between her pussy lips (labia) outside of her panties back and forth several times. She will be squirming by now. You then bend down and place your mouth over her clitty (clitoris) and blow hot breath on her clitty (clitoris) through her panties several times. She will continue to get extremely aroused. You then pull the crotch of her panties to the side and lick between her slit (labia) up and down several times. She will be by now breathing heavily and thrusting against your tongue. Now instead of sliding her panties down and off, you hook your hand inside the waistband of those panties and you in one powerful motion rip them from her body. This will give her just a little fear but a whole lot of sexual excitement. She now knows that she is going to be “taken” by you and she can’t wait to be taken by a real man forcefully and rough. This technique has never failed me. Every woman that I have ever done it to has loved it. Women like to be taken by a strong self confident man that knows what he is doing in bed.

Now is when you really need to take charge. You get at least a couple of pillows and place them under her butt to elevate her butt so that you can go down on her more comfortably. You pull her legs apart roughly and spread them. You then get your hands under her ass and squeeze her butt cheeks very firmly. You drive your tongue into her pussy (vagina), burying it in her as deeply as you can. You then proceed to tongue fuck her (tongue thrusting) for a couple of minutes. You then proceed up to her clitty (clitoris) and suck it into your lips by placing a lip lock on it. You suck it like you were sucking a thick milkshake through a straw. It will start to engorge with blood and swell. You keep sucking it and then start pulling on it with your lips. You can get it to stretch outside of its foreskin or hood. When it has swollen, give it a little clitty blow job by going up and down the shaft of her clitty (clitoris) and still sucking strongly. She will be highly aroused by now and perhaps have even come. You then move her tongue against her clitty like a machine gun as fast as you can. The way to practice this is by placing your tongue against your upper lip and creating a spring tension against your lip and then you start flicking against that lip as fast as you possibly can. Once it flicks out and hits her clitty, it is guaranteed to drive her wild and make her come. Take your time and get her off two or three times. Now she will literally be aching to be penetrated by you. You can even pull the hood of her clitoris back like a male foreskin and give the machine gun tongue directly on her clitty (clitoris). The more time that you spend getting her aroused and making her come before entering her, the more turned on she will be and having you enter her will make it much more enjoyable for her. The more enjoyable you make it for her, the more likely she is going to say yes to your sexual overtures to her in the future.

Now that you have made her come, get on top and again make her wait. Take your dick in your hand and stroke between her pussy lips (labia). She will immediately want you to thrust into her, but resist the urge. Stroke it back and forth and then stroke it on her clitty. Once she can’t take it any more, slowly in slow motion enter her and stop for a minute. Start stroking it in and out of her pussy (vagina). Kiss and lick and suck on her nipples while you are doing this. The more simultaneous stimuli that you can apply, the more turned on she will become. Now start literally pounding your dick into her but don’t come yet. When you get the urge to come inside her, pull out and go back down on her and get her off again. This will give you time to relax and avoid coming and then climb back on and start fucking (making love with) her again. Using this technique, I have made love to a woman literally for two hours and given her up to 20 climaxes. Another thing that you can do is to pull out and change positions. This keeps it from becoming boring to the woman. Have her get on top of you facing away and give her a vibrator and tell her to apply it to her clitty (clitoris) while riding you. This will enable her to climax during intercourse. This also works in the doggy position and laying side by side and entering her from the rear. The idea is that you want to give her as many climaxes that she can have. Most guys never want to give a woman multiple orgasms. Believe me, the time that you invest in making her come over and over again will repay you in her being eager to make love with you any time that you want. Most of you do it the same old way time after time. It is like eating macaroni and cheese 3 meals a day. Is it any wonder that women don’t want to have sex with you very much? Women bore easily. It is up to you to vary your approach to her if you want the sex regularly.

Another technique developed by the pioneer sexual researchers, Masters and Johnson was to take the head of your dick and squeeze it (or have her squeeze it between the thumb and forefinger.) This will instantly kill your urge to come and yet not effect your erection. This will enable you to continue to screw her without you coming. If she can climax during intercourse, this will give her the time to do so. If she can’t she will enjoy the longer intercourse time.

Finally, after you come, don’t stop there. She is capable of more orgasms. My suggestion is to order a vibrator called the Hitachi Magic Wand electric vibrator. You will have to order it online. It is the industrial strength power tool of vibrators. It is guaranteed to rock her world. Take her in your arms, have her hold the vibrator on her clitty while you simultaneously suck and lick her nipples and finger fuck (rapidly inserting your finger in and out of her vagina) her pussy. She will knock off another half a dozen climaxes in your arms. You can also give her a G spot orgasm. Once she is aroused, thrust your finger or two fingers in and out of her. You don’t thrust them in all the way but only about 11/2 inches in against the roof of her pussy (vagina). Think of how you stroke your dick when beating off. You start slowly and build up speed and pressure where you are doing it very fast. If she has a G spot orgasm, she will likely gush vaginal fluids or even squirt. It is a powerful orgasm that is much stronger than a clitty (clitoral) orgasm. You will need to hold her tightly if this happens because she will feel weak, and cold and shiver afterwards. Wait a couple of minutes and do it again. Once she reaches this level of arousal, she can have multiple G spot orgasms. It is your job to give them to her.

Once she is done, now if you really want to get “brownie points” as the world’s greatest lover”, cover her with a sheet. You then go into the bathroom and get a large beach towel and soak it in very hot water. You then wring it out very dry and then take it in and drape it over her bare back and give her a hot towel massage. In the process clean up between her legs. You then cover her back up and go in and get it hot again, but this time not so hot and then roll her over and drape it over the front of her body and again massage her and clean her up. You cover her back up with a sheet; throw the towel back into the bathroom. You then take her favorite powder and dust down her whole body massaging it in as you go. You then climb into bed with her and hold her in your arms and talk to her while you hold her and cuddle her. If you follow my suggestions, you will be much better than 99% of the other men out there and she will definitely want to make love with you again. She will also rave about your performance to her girlfriends. Good luck men. Women if you are reading this, I suggest that you show my instructions to the man that you are sleeping with. If you don’t currently have a man, then show it to the man who wants to make love with you.. Ask him if he is man enough to step up to the plate and pleasure you the way that you want to be pleasured. If he pooh poohs the idea, then don’t let him have sex with you because you are assured that you will be disappointed in his performance.


Women Read This If You Want Success in Life and Love

March 20, 2011

I have just finished reading Sandra Walston’s book entitled: Stuck 12 Steps UpThe Leadership Ladder. What is should be entitled is Get rid of your self doubts, negative self talk and fears and succeed. That is the essence of this wonderful book written especially for women. It should be required reading for any woman in the workplace, but not only that, it should be required reading for any woman who is plagued by self doubts, fears and negative self talk and finds herself stuck in life’s rut. Sandra did an amazing job of researching, documenting and portraying women in history who have overcome these obstacles and succeeded wildly and makes the case that so can you. I believe her and recommend her book wholeheartedly.

Women are their own worst enemies, and can be their own best fiiends. Sandra details in exercises how to do it and do it better and to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.
I can’t recommend this book highly enough.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder


Chrysler Robs Little Old Ladies

March 16, 2011

I am writing this for a little old lady that I know and love. She is a widow of a man who was not only a WWII soldier but also the Korean War as well. Before he died he tried to protect her by buying an extended warantee on their Chrysler Sebring 2003 model.

Typical of extended warranties it ran out and then things started going wrong with it. It only had 42,000 miles on it and the warranty was for 70,000 miles.

First the transmission got water in it. She took it to the dealer in New Castle Indiana. They drained it and refilled with transmission fluid. When the gave it back it was leaking transmission fluid badly. The mechanic did not bother to test drive the car and check it for leaks. This is clearly mechanical malpractice.

What they should have done is to drain it and pump it out because draining a transmission does not empty it, it still has about half the fluid in it, like in the torque converter etc. When she told them that it still had water in it, remarkably they told her to take it out and take it for a long drive and that would blow out the water. Nothing could be further from the truth.

When I insisted that they actually follow the proper procedure and pump out the transmission, they sent it back and said that the water pump was leaking and it would take over $1,000 to fix it. Then they said that they would have to put in a new timing chain and sprocket because Chrysler had changed the design and they no longer stocked parts that would fit the older design.

I told them that the warrantee had just run out a few months ago and that they should honor the drive train warrantee. They of course refused and charged her the full amount.

Then I find out that they had overtorqued the bolts for the transmission. They used an air ratchet to tighten up the bolts. The air ratchet tightens down to 50 lbs per square inch and the proper torque specs are about 11 lbs per square inch because the transmission bell housing is made from soft aluminum and it can’t take much torque. They had stretched the bolt holes and they should have been redrilled and rethreaded. They of course refused persisting in their ignorance in spite of me telling them to check the torque specs in the repair manual.

This is not the first time that incompetent mechanics have ripped her off. The electric seat adjuster stopped working. She dutifully took it into the dealer (Goodwin Brothers in New Castle In). They charged her $75 to diagnose the problem and said that they would have to replace the seat mechanism and that it would be over $750. She did not have the money so she took the car back. Her daughter looked under the seat and noted that there was a plastic water bottle stuck in the mechanism and pulled it out. Magically the seat mechanism worked again. I demanded that they return the $75.

The lesson learned is that mechanics still wrip off women, especially little old widows who don’t know any better.

I would avoid Chrysler products all together.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder


Avoid PR Web In Your Publicity Efforts

March 12, 2011

For all of you writers out there who want to write a book and perhaps self publish or in today’s market, even if you get a traditional publisher to publish your book, they will expect you to do the lion’s share of marketing.

In that vein, I have been on PR Web’s Journalist mailing list for over a year now. They used to publish exceprts of their publicity releases and then you could click onto the title and pull up the whole Press Release and read more about the person and the book or video that they were promoting.

Now they are only publishing the excerpts often without the author’s name even mentioned and you can’t pull up any other info on the book. I have complained bitterly to the company to be ignored. I even called the President’s office, got his assitant’s voice mail and she nor the president ever called me back. People need value for their money and need to be treated with respect. Neither of these things can be currently found on PR Web’s pages. I thought that you should know this.

That is the bad news, the good news is that I have a resource that I can’t recommend highly enough; That is Dan Poynters Publishing newsletter. He is the GURU on publishing for writers and has loads of resource material on how to increase the sale of your books through non traditonal means.

His site can be found at http://www.parapublishing.com/sites/para/

Another good resource is Jerry D Simmons who publishes a newsletter for writers and the art of publishing his site can be found at http://www.WritersReaders.com.

Please send other sites that you would recommend for writers as we all have to stick together.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder


Let’s Help Make This Book a Best Seller

March 9, 2011

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Can you really learn to manifest your heart’s desires? Absolutely… but you must manifest it in your consciousness first! Now, learn to connect with your own Divine Co-creative Power, embrace your good…then watch it unfold. Victoria Loveland-Coen guides you through this powerful process in her exclusive Manifestation Meditation.

Barbara Joye

Four Free eBooks

Barbara Joye is The Shift Guru. The four free e-books being offered include a how-to on communicating with The Angelic Realm and three of the beliefs to hold to create the life of your dreams. Through these simple concepts you can begin creating shifts in your life and living a life of magical and amazing connections.

Darcy Keith

FREE 15 minute consultation on overcoming challenges in your life

“As featured on ABC, CBS, and Fox, Darcy Keith is “The Queen of Survival” and a professional speaker and author. She is an expert in overcoming adversity and teaches how to live the life you really want. With the purchase of Caryn’s new e-book, Living the Life of My Dreams, you get as a bonus a FREE 15 minute consultation on overcoming challenges in your life with Darcy.

I’m Ready For My e-Book And Bonus Gifts!

With your purchase you will also receive:

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Bonus Gifts Alone Are Priceless!
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Dawn McCooey

Employee Orientation Checklist & 50 Ways to Reward Employees ($25 Value)

This bonus gift is a downloadable checklist for managers, business owners and supervisors who want to start employees off on the right foot! The “Employee Orientation Checklist” will ensure that you’ve covered the essentials for your new employee. From the author of the bestselling “Keeping Good Employees On Board” Also included: “50 Ways to Reward Employees”

Patricia Weber

Free 25 page excerpt from Taking the Mystery Out of Follow-up Reluctance

How to Steadily Turn Prospects Into Customers: Taking the Mystery Out of Follow-up Reluctance. Patricia Weber is America’s #1 Coach For Introverts & Shy. Her internationally recognized expertise is sales and marketing, in particular networking. In this free 25 page excerpt from Taking the Mystery Out of Follow-up Reluctance learn easily and quickly how to stop leaving sales on the table.

Sherry Lynn Simoes

The Self Improvement Guide

This 162 Page Guide covers hundreds of ways to work on your Self Improvement including goal setting, meditation, overcoming obstacles and more!

Catherine O’Connor

The Busy Person’s Meditation Guide: Creating Moments of Calm in a Hectic Day

In this lovely little ebook learn about different types of meditation and how to incorporate simple techniques into your daily routine that will benefit your overall sense of peace, calm and well-being. Included in the book is a link to a free guided imagery meditation by author Cathleen O’Connor entitled Opening the Heart.

Amy Schoen

Motivated to Marry® e-book and companion audio mp3

“Will I ever meet the right person for marriage?” Learn how to date the Motivated to Marry® Method! Motivated to Marry® e-book and companion audio mp3 Amy Schoen, Professional Life and Relationship Coach developed the Motivated to Marry® Method. It worked for her, it works for her clients and it can work for you too!

Jackie Lapin (Rita Roberts)

How to Stop Your Suffering and Thrive! ebook

What Makes You Suffer? Discover the Triggers for Pain and Misery– and Exactly What You Can Do To Quickly Achieve Peace of Mind and Joy. Why wallow in misery and pain? Discover what leads to your mental suffering and learn to shut it down, or “antidote” it. This unique ebook offers 10 antidotes for the mental anguish that keeps you stuck in your rut of unhappiness, so you can break out and thrive! Enjoy the freedom that comes from knowing you always have the antidote to life’s pain!

Roberta Mittman

Free downloads of 3 recordings to help shift your mindset

Roberta Mittman’s 3R’s: The Mental Shifts to Change the Course of Your Health Right Now. Roberta Mittman, licensed acupuncturist, nutritional and lifestyle consultant, and holistic mindset mentor, is offering you downloads of 3 recordings created exclusively to help her patients shift their mindset about their own well being and health by applying the principles of the 3R’s — Recognize, Reframe, and Reclaim.

Edwige Gilbert

The first two chapters of “The Fresh Start Promise”

“The Fresh Start Promise”, 28 Days to Total Mind, Body, Spirit Transformation is a program of life changes made easy and with long lasting results. With breakthrough innovative techniques and just 28 days, you learn how to transform stress into strength, get on a new life track, free of unwanted habits and filled with confidence and “joie de vivre”.

Roxette Denne

Free guidance session

Secrets to transform YOUR life where you and I talk one on one. Your experience may change your life. Roxette is the channel for Archangel Raphael, Archangel Michael, Archangel Gabriel, Archangel Uriel and others in ‘the Light’

Liz Cosline

Get Inspired Project recording

An interview about what inspires and inspiring others. Talking about bringing out the potential in people.

Estra Roell

I Have Value (meditation)

This is a wonderful meditation for getting in touch with your Higher Self and tuning in to your value as a person. If you have been having issues with confidence or making yourself small, this meditation will focus you on your true worth and leave you feeling expanded!

Leslie Knight

3 Free Trainings ($250 Value)

To help you “Live the Life of Your Dreams” at Work, we are releasing three new tele-seminars in May:
1) Do you have your PhD? It’s easier than you think.
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3) Team Dynamics: Men and Women are Different

Hope Anderson

Healthy Nutrient-Rich Meal Plans for Busy Soccer Moms

Discover how to easily prepare “no – fuss,” delicious, healthy, home cooked meals using wholesome natural foods with this 3-day Meal planner designed by Hope Anderson, RD – Family Nutrition Coach and founder of Children’s Nutrition Corner. Healthy meal creation is one of her hobbies and specialties and she has the expertise to coach busy families on how to plan and prepare them at home.

Kristie Abruzzo

The Art of Presence

You want to look your best – ALL THE TIME. The Art of Presence helps you look great AND, teaches you to take good care of your spine at the same time – all with ONE PRACTICE that you perform during the course of your normal day.

Jan Hall

FREE: Unique Application of Five Love Languages (mp3) plus Dr Jan’s Top 50 Strategies (pdf)

Jan’s Catchphrase is:
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It’s got to come from the heart if you want it to work!

Tor Constantino

Free Report (Retail Value: $14.95)

The recent global recession has negatively affected most of us either professionally or personally. This free report offers invaluable insight and timely tips from 4 successful CEOs to help you find your way on the road to success during these difficult times.

Hal Elrod

The Miracle Morning® Video & Audio Program (VALUE: $97)

Also known as “The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed To Change Your Entire Life… (Before 8:00 A.M.)” this revolutionary program shows you how to wake up EVERYDAY with more energy, motivation, and focus so you can become the person you need to be to create the life you truly deserve!

Neal Griebling

Free Special Report, “What’s Holding You Back.”

We’re pleased to be able to provide you with this special report. We hope you enjoy it and welcome your comments.

Rosemary & Phyllis

ebook, “Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals”

These stories are about people with attitudes, thoughts and feelings much like yours. They will stimulate ideas that move you toward your goals. You’ll find information, support and direction here. Best of all, the tips introduce you to practical strategies and effective solutions. Try them on – you’ll see they can work for you.

Cyndi Krupp

Mind Power Evolution Kit ($110 Value)

For 10 years, a team carried out advanced mind power research. Access their ‘World First’ secrets today in ‘Mind Surge: The Consciousess Revolution’… Plus you’ll get 22 Powerful Tools to Transform your Fear…The Garden of Enlightenment BWE audio……and 2 revolutionary Dream Programming audios

Jan Krauel

Your Passion Track: Using Inner Guidance for Happiness and Success

Are you truly happy and living the life of your dreams right now? Would you like to be? Your Passion Track introduces a way to tap into the guidance of your higher self, helping you realize your life path through gentle messages and inspiration.

Linkie Seltzer

Personal Sleep Quiz and 3 Special Reports

Are You One of 80,000,000 People With a Sleep Disorder? Receive 3 Special Sleep Reports and take your Personal SLEEP QUIZ that will enhance your ability to get a good night’s sleep.

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Living the Life of My Dreams:
Essays & Interviews with 30 Ordinary People Living EXTRAordinary Lives
Their Lessons Learned & How-to Secrets Revealed


8 Rules for Successfully Flirting With Women

March 4, 2011

I got this from Men’s Health online. It seems pretty good to me. I have also used opening lines that I am the bad boy your mama warned you about or I just want to make sure that you are not miserable. When she says how is that, I answer, because I might be the man of your dreams and I don’t want you kicking yourself for not finding out. Here is the article written by a woman for guys.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

You pick me up at 8, and it’s game on.
I want you to win. But I fear failure.

Yours. Mine. Ours.

In the court of dating and mating, women are judge and jury, but the testimony we hear—mostly from our hearts, but also from our Greek chorus of girlfriends—will all take place out of your earshot. The rules are unwritten (until now), but they are set in stone. Give us a really good reason, however, and we’ll toss the tablets aside, along with most of our clothing and inhibitions. That’s because we want you, the right guy, to make the decision easy for us: not guilty by reason of insanity (i.e., crazy in love).

Watch the Signals

I’ve already sent you the Zoolander eye lock, the eyebrow raise, and/or at least two smiles (full, open-lipped, teeth smiles). Come over here and talk to me already. Caveat: There’s a small chance I just think you’re funny looking, but go ahead, have some balls. I’m worth it.

Convince Me Quickly

Once you have the green light, it doesn’t matter what you say first. You now have 5 minutes to convince me to keep talking. Make the most of it.

Give Me a Reason

If you want my number, say something simple and direct. “You’re fun. Can I give you a call?” works. Pound the number into your cell phone, or borrow a pen from the bartender. (It’s your job; you’re the asker.)

Ask, Don’t “E” Me

Don’t be a wuss. If you want to see me, pick up the phone. E-mails can wait for later.

Obey the 2-Day Rule

If you call within 24 hours, you’ll seem desperate. If you wait 3 days, I’ll be annoyed that you purposely waited 3 days. So call on day 2. One of two things will happen:

I’ll pick up. You say, “Hey, Lisa Jones, this is Will—the guy you danced to ‘Blue Monday’ with on Saturday night. How was the rest of your weekend? I want to see you again. Are you available on Wednesday? There’s a new tiki bar/restaurant/museum exhibit I’ve been meaning to check out.”

A Man Plans Ahead

If you want to see me this weekend, call me by Thursday, please. If you want to see me naked tonight, call me before you’re drunk at 1 a.m.

Don’t Ask Me to Hang Out

When you ask me to “hang out” and it’s just the two of us and you don’t have a girlfriend (or boyfriend), I assume it’s a date. To avoid confusion, say, “I’d like to take you out” instead of, “Wanna hang out?”

Know When to Quit

If you call me twice and get no callback, game over. Don’t keep calling, e-mailing, or sending flowers. In Meg Ryan movies, or when Keanu Reeves performs them, these gestures say “bold romantic.” In reality, when you do them, they say “stalker.”


101 Ways To Simplify Your Life

March 2, 2011

I got this post from the online magazine called Cotton Candy. I have decided to add one very important thing to the list of 100 to make it 101.

You must forgive people who have hurt you in the past. Not so much for their benefit, but for your own. By not forgiving them, you allow them into your life and your head to mess you up and kill your joy.

There are a lot of broken people in the world. You don’t have to own their negative opinion of you. You must first critically evaluate yourself against criticisms in the past to see if they are accurate. If they are accurate then be honest and work on improving in those areas. If they are not accurate, dish them. Like I said, there are a lot of very broken people in the world with their own load of rage that they are looking to dump on innocent people like you. They are dealing with their own profound inner pain. You don’t have to allow this inner pain to ruin your life or your joy.

Learn to value yourself and be positive. Life will go much smoother for you. I had some of the crappiest parents to ever walk the face of the earth. They did untold damage to me and my brothers. I have recuperated from the pain and exorcised it by forgiving them, but my brothers have not. They are societal misfits to this very day. You don’t have to be. You can choose to live different and better. I encourage you to be a survivor and live life abundantly.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

100 Ways to Simplify Your Life
03.01.11
Sometimes, life can get pretty complicated. Between your job, your man, your friends, your kids, your bills and a list of other enumerable factors life brings, just living from day to day can be anything but simple. But if you’re looking for the peace that simplicity most assuredly will bring to your life, Cotton Candy is here to tell you that your sought-after serenity is well within reach. All you have to do is change up your routine, turn your thinking around or perhaps start something new. Below, we’ll show you how. Read on for list of 100 ways to simplify your life. Some of these may go against what you’ve always been taught. But trust us. If you give them a try, living a simple life isn’t as hard to obtain as you might think.

1. Do one thing at a time.

2. Organize your home.

3. Set aside personal time for yourself.

4. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

5. Remember it’s all small stuff.

6. Surround yourself with positive people.

7. Remove negative people from your circle.

8. Throw away all your old clothes.

9. Learn to say no.

10. Don’t try to change others.

11. Work to change the things you don’t like about yourself.

12. Be decisive.

13. Don’t compare yourself with others.

14. Be yourself.

15. Talk positively about yourself.

16. Talk positively to others.

17. Clean old contacts out of your cell phone.

18. Delete your “frenemies” on Facebook.

19. Be honest with yourself.

20. Be honest with others.

21. Learn to be more concerned about others rather than yourself.

22. Be encouraging.

23. Love your talents.

24. Be open-minded.

25. Finish what you start.

26. Don’t procrastinate.

27. Laugh, a lot.

28. Smile, a lot.

29. Love, even more.

30. Be thankful.

31. Don’t complain.

32. Don’t murmur.

33. Believe the best in others.

34. Exercise.

35. Eat right.

36. Stay out of debt.

37. Plan for the future.

38. Prepare for the unexpected.

39. Establish boundaries for yourself.

40. Establish boundaries for others in your life.

41. Get proper rest.

42. Keep your life interesting and change your routine.

43. Forgive others.

44. Forgive yourself.

45. Get informed.

46. Control your thoughts.

47. Take vacations, even short ones.

48. Prioritize.

49. Don’t let emotions rule you.

50. Pick your battles.

51. Mind your own business.

52. Don’t judge.

53. Don’t be a people pleaser.

54. Have courage.

55. Follow your dreams.

56. Avoid petty arguments.

57. Strive to be a better person.

58. Be kind.

59. Ask for help when you need it.

60. Pray.

61. Count the consequences BEFORE you commit.

62. Be faithful to others.

63. Get along with others.

64. Don’t spread yourself thin.

65. Submit to proper authority in your life.

66. Listen to others.

67. Stay away from gossip.

68. Don’t be controlling.

69. Be flexible.

70. Don’t nag.

71. Change what you can change. Be patient with the stuff you cannot.

72. Be realistic.

73. Go beyond your normal boundaries.

74. Avoid burnout.

75. Take one day at a time.

76. Celebrate your successes.

77. Honor the achievements of others.

78. Remain balanced in all areas of your life.

79. Get a haircut.

80. Keep a diary.

81. Have hope.

82. Have faith.

83. Go to the park and relax.

84. Go to dinner with your friends.

85. Go to church and release your cares.

86. Accept your imperfections.

87. Accept your body.

88. Don’t take yourself seriously.

89. Refuse to worry.

90. Refuse to stress.

91. Keep your promises.

92. Learn from your mistakes.

93. Let go of the past.

94. Work towards the future.

95. Enjoy the present.

96. Balance your checkbook.

97. Buy yourself a treat.

98. Sign up for automated bill pay.

99. Conquer your fears.

100. Read Cotton Candy.


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