6 Sex Mistakes That Men Make And Women Pay Attention as Well,

Today, I am thankful for this year. I have built a great following on my blog. I have been interviewed numerous times this year that made it into print or on the radio. I have helped a lot of people. Take time to reflect on your blessings this year.

With that I am thankful for Web MD Magazine because they are another venue to help you with sex and your personal relationships. Men you need to stop being so self centered in bed and work harder at pleasing the woman in your life. It will pay off in dividends of her being more willing to have sex with you if you make sure that she is satsified every time that you have sex. Enjoy this great guest post from Web MD
WebMD offers experts’ sex tips for men who have sex with women.
By Martin F. Downs

WebMD FeatureReviewed by Louise Chang, MDHey guys, think you know everything there is to know about having sex with women? That erotic encyclopedia you carry around in your head may contain a lot of basic errors and omissions about women’s sexuality — errors that can lead to sex mistakes.

That’s because — after learning the facts of life — most of us are left to figure out sex for ourselves. Guys tend to take a lot of cues from adult movies, and we all know how true-to-life those are. Experience may help, but many women can be shy when talking about what they like.

To help us with some sex tips, WebMD asked two acclaimed sex educators, Tristan Taormino and Lou Paget, to tell us what they think are the most common sex mistakes men make with women.

Taormino is a prolific author, lecturer, and video producer. Her latest project is the Expert Guide educational video series from Vivid Ed.

Paget is author of The Great Lover Playbook and other sex manuals, and she gives seminars nationwide.

Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What She Wants
Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they’ve done with other women. But women aren’t all the same.

“You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person,” Taormino says.

That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships, she says. “There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between.”

Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All She Needs
Some women can’t have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator.

“If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she’s not broken,” Taormino says.

Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. “While you’re doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else,” Taormino says.

Sex Mistake No. 3: Sex Feels the Same for Men and Women
Paget says there tends to be a “huge disconnect” between men and women in the ways that sex feels good.

“When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn’t feeling the same way for her,” Paget says. “It couldn’t be further from the truth.”

The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long, “it feels like you’re getting punched in the stomach,” Paget says. “It makes you feel nauseous.

Sex Mistake No. 4: You Know Your Way Around a Woman’s Anatomy
Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it. That’s not to say that they really understand it.

More than 30 years ago, at the start of the “sexual revolution,” a best-selling book called the Joy of Sex got Americans hip to the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women must be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration stubbornly persists.

“I still get letters from people who say things like, my wife can’t [orgasm] from intercourse unless she has clitoral stimulation — please help,” Taormino says. “I want to write back and say, ‘OK, what’s the problem?'”

“For the majority of women, it’s not going to happen that way,” Paget says.

Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is, Taormino says.

A touch that’s bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.

How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Try asking her.

Sex Mistake No. 5: Wet = Turned On
Guys sometimes get hung up if a woman doesn’t get slippery enough for easy penetration. Don’t worry about it.

“I think there’s a myth that if you’re turned on, you’re wet,” Taormino says. Not necessarily.

Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it’s subject to influences like stress and medications.

Sex Mistake No. 6: Silence Is Golden
A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what’s doing it for you and what isn’t.

If you’re respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions.

“I’m not saying push her head in your lap,” Taormino says. “I think that, ‘this is how I like it,’ is a very useful conversation to have.”

9 Responses to 6 Sex Mistakes That Men Make And Women Pay Attention as Well,

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    We make the assumptions in #1 because we’re not taught properly; the best we can expect in our formative years is to have someone telling us not to have sex.

    Number two is an issue purely because of our ego and because we want ourselves to be the only thing needed for her pleasure and we know that we aren’t, which is why it bothers us to hear that buzzing.

    Number three comes into play because most men have no idea what it feels like to be screwed – doesn’t get any easier than that, does it? Then, when you factor in porn, which is designed to be sensational more than reasonable, we think this is what women want – and it really isn’t but we also never bother to ask about this and some women are unable to relate this to us.

    Number four is just more ignorance on our part and our tendency to focus on the “important” parts and there are a great many things a lot of men – and even women – are totally clueless about concerning the human body, like not knowing what the biggest sexual organ is on one’s body.

    Number five? More ignorance related to number four…

    Number six is – or can be – ambiguous. Some women don’t take instruction very well in that they either know what they’re doing or what they’re gonna do – and she doesn’t need you saying anything about it. It’s the reverse of number one, kind of. If we’re screwed up about what they want, it stands to reason they’re just as screwed up about it.

    And given that some of us guys are rather, ah, vulgar, when we say something during sex, we have no idea how what we’re saying is impacting the woman under us, do we? And don’t we often have the habit of telling her something we want her to do… and there’s no way in hell she’s gonna even try to do it? I point to the thing about guys liking that whole deep-throat thing; he wants it, tells her to take all of it… and she knows she can’t do it… so how do you think she’s feeling as she senses or hears his displeasure?

    Maybe there aren’t really six mistakes and there’s only one: Trying to do something the both of you are ill-equipped and prepared to do.

  2. Well we should get better with experience. The sad thing is that a lot of people get comfortable with a very limite range of options and are not up for experimentation.


  3. kdaddy23 says:

    You’d think that we would – and some people actually do when they’ve decided that, yes, the sex is important. Experimentation is scary and people tend to think more about what might go wrong than about those things that can go correctly. Like a girl from way back in the day I was putting a move on. I asked her whether or not she liked to be eaten – and she said she didn’t know because she’d never allowed it to happen – and that was because she thought that she wouldn’t like it and that was because one of her friends had a not-so-nice experience and told her about it.

    I was able to convince her to let me do it and she was good after that – but you see the “problem” here.

  4. Yes you illustrated it very well with your story. A lot of women would have stuck to the no eating theory. Churches are responsible for a whole lot of ambivalence about sex for women.

  5. I don’t have anything further to add because these 6 rules are completely true

  6. Hey Babygirl
    thanks for dropping by and commmenting. Come by anytime, you are always welcome.

  7. busker ryme says:

    yeah all those 6 mistakes are true coz dats wat men do nowdays bt de blame go 2 women

  8. nancy says:

    how do I get my hubby to talk dirty to me during sex?

  9. Hey Nancy
    Try talking to him and telling him what you want. It helps if you prime the pump first and tell him in very graphic language what you want him to do to you and scream when you come. First of all it is music to a man’s ears and secondly it will actually make your orgasm about 20% stronger. Try it and see and let me know how it worked for you.


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