The Secret To Having Happily Ever After For Women

Recently I was interviewed on Spiritually Raw. You should google them.

John Wilder

The Secret To Having Happily Ever After
Whatsoever a man (woman) soweth, that shall he (she) also reap. Galatians

Women from the time that they were little girls have fantasized about having “happily ever after”

Sadly, this is usually a very self centered dream with her prince fawning over her and granting her
her every desire while she sits on her behind. Rarely do women give any thought as to what happily ever after looks like for a man.

For a marriage or a relationship to work there has to be give and take
It can’t possibly work when one is doing all the taking. This simply
builds resentment on the part of the man and he starts to withdraw

On behalf of men everywhere, let me give you what the average guy sees as “happily ever after”

Men want women to be our best friend, to have our back against all enemies. To listen to our hopes and dreams and be an encourager to us.

We want nurturing when we are hurting emotionally. We want you to give us sex willingly and lovingly and never ever put us down for our sexuality. It would be like putting a woman down for having a period.

We also want you to be sexually adventurous and throw off those inhibitions. You know what inhibitions are, they are stop signs to great sex. Too many women worry that if they fully embrace their sexuality, that the man will consider her slutty. No, what the man will think is that you are sexually sophisticated and that you want to please us. This creates tremendous bonds between men and women.
We want you to dress to please us which usually calls for frilly lacy lingerie not the deadly dull virginal white nylon panties with no lace and no color.

There is an old italian proverb in what a man wants from a wife and it sums it up quite succinctly: He wants a good mother for his kids, a good hostess for his friends and he wants a slut in the bedroom for himself. For you women who object to the term slut, how about sexual animal? We want you to have a sexual desire and initiate sex with us and not always make us come to you for sex.

In honor of Babygirl’s critique, let me add for you men, you need to do it much better for your woman. Too many of you want to get it over quickly with little foreplay for your woman. Sex feels good, take your time. When it comes to orgasms, it should ALWAYS BE WOMEN FIRST!
Instead of getting it over in 5 minutes, delay your ejaculation by withdrawing and going back down on your woman and gettting her off again and then reenter her. Doing it this way, I have literally have lasted for two hours and given the woman up to 20 orgasms. Finally, when you are done, don’t roll over and go to sleep. Go into the bathroom and get a hot towel and give your woman a quick hot towel massage and clean her up between her legs. Then powder her down with her favorite powder and rub it in. Then climb back in bed with her, take her in your arms and hold her and talk to her instead of making her feel like you used her like a “piece of meat’.

Women if you give your man his dream of happily ever after, you would be amazed at how hard he would work to give you your dream of “happily ever after”.

What you sow, so shall you reap.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

11 Responses to The Secret To Having Happily Ever After For Women

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    While I agree that this all makes sense, I can’t help but wonder what makes you think that women are gonna buy into this? Some do, without a doubt, but for some the reality is that there is no “happily ever after” and the fault lies with both men and women in this. It’s advocating “Me Tarzan, you Jane, biatch!” in a time where that mentality just doesn’t work because of that whole obligation thing that some folks think got played out back in the early 19th century. Men want women to be one way and a lot of women ain’t trying to hear it; women want men to do stuff that they’re not trying to hear.

    To me, it’s like fighting for a worthless cause, beating one’s head against a wall, and even trying to get pee from a tree because a lot of people just ain’t gonna do the give and take thing and mostly because we’re trying to survive in a world so full of stresses and pressures that aren’t allowing for it.

    But I admire your tenacity to preserve this most ancient of customs. I remember during my reading of “Sex at Dawn” how and why women expected to be fussed over and why men would often start wars for the favors of a woman. And that continues to exist today under the guise of, “What are you gonna do for me?” And even if the guy does something she finds worthy, that doesn’t mean she’s gonna do whatever for him and if she does, she’ll be bitching and complaining about it along the way.

    To put it crudely, she’s saying, “If you want this pussy, this is what you gotta do for me to get it and if you don’t, well, there’s always someone else willing to do what I want to get this stuff!”

    Men turn around and say, “Well, if I do all this shit you want, then you gotta do all the shit I want!”

    Girlfriend ain’t trying to hear that, is she? And since she isn’t, boyfriend ain’t trying to hear “What are you gonna do for me?”

    Trying to turn this behavior around gets to be really interesting, huh?

  2. Well you seem to run into a lot of very arrogant women. I tell women that attitude is self defeating and dysfunctional. There is only one way to happily ever after and that it not saying to no to your partner on both sides. If you want it you got to give it.

  3. I never really thought of the males happily ever after. But I never thought of mine that way either. I guess it feels good seeing other perspectives on what happy means for each different sex. Every paragraph is a new learning experience.

    • Well you are not alone. Most women have never given any thought as to what happily ever after looks like for a man and as a result there are not all that many happy marriages.

      Blessings on you and yours

  4. I simply added your web page to my top picks. I love reading your posts. Thanks!

  5. Your welcome sock monkey
    John Wilder

  6. I recently came accross your internet site and also have been reading along. I was thinking I would leave my very first comment. Nice blog. I’ll keep visiting this web site very frequently. Many thanks

  7. R. G. Simmons says:

    My wife told me last night that I should never ask her for sexual favors because then it becomes an obligation for her. That I should just sit around and if she feels in the mood and decides to do something sexual for me then it’s a gift from her.

    She also looked at me and said matter-of-factly “I look at you and I don’t feel like having sex.”

    We’ve been married for 8 years and have two young daughters. I’m torn between shutting up, sitting down, and fulfilling my family obligations or doing something drastic.

    I feel gutted inside.

    • Hey RG
      I don’t blame you. I offer a half hour free consultation. If she would be willing to talk to me.
      If she is not willing to get counseling then my best advice is to divorce her because
      she is not fulfilling her marriage vows and you should not go sexless or be
      bullied by her.

      John Wilder

      • R. G. Simmons says:

        It’s wrong, right? Because I’m so dependent on her for my physical needs, for her to turn that on me, well that’s malicious isn’t it? It feels that way.

        How can she on one hand be so scarred by having every single man in her life cheat on her except for me, only me, and then deny me…that?

        Is she punishing me for the sins of her past signifigant others?

        I’ve never cheated on anyone. Ever.

        Not once. I couldn’t live with myself. And I’m the only person that I can’t avoid.

        It’s not right. I don’t think it’s right. I don’t feel it’s right.

        I don’t deserve that. You shouldn’t reward loyalty with abstinence.

  8. Hey RG
    You are 100% right. If you would like to avail yourself of my services I would talk to you or your wife or both for a half hour for free. Just let me know, send me your phone number and good time to call on my personal email at


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