Talking Dirty in Bed, Do You Do It?

November 30, 2011

Here is another great guest post from Your Tango Magazine

It is one of the biggest problems I have convincing women that it is not only okay but men love it and would feel loved and cherished if their women would tell them exactly what they want them to do to them in bed in a very graphic way.

Enjoy John Wilder
Americans Love To Talk Dirty
By Kait Smith posted Sep 9th 2011 11:57AM

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80 percent of us indulge in word play during sex.
When it comes to getting frisky between the sheets, do you spice up the action by letting some naughty words slip out? If not, you may want to join the legions of Americans who are using dirty talk to mix things up in the bedroom. What Guys Think Links: Dirty Talk & Bad Fantasies

A recent survey by adult toy company Adam & Eve revealed that 80 percent of Americans engage in naughty word play while having sex. How often are we whispering (or, if you’re really into it, yelling) these kinky phrases? Only 12 percent admitted that it is “always” a part of sex, while the majority—33 percent—sometimes talk dirty. Meanwhile, 29 percent rarely include naughty words in their sexual routines.

We know that naughty words can catch a man of guard in the best way possible, and that many men view women who talk dirty as self confident. But unfortunately, though it can truly heighten the sexual experience, 20 percent of the 1,000 adults surveyed don’t partake in dirty talk at all.

But if you’re a fan of sex toys, you may be a bit above the “average” American. Only 10 percent of Adam & Eve’s Facebook fans say they never use dirty talk, while more than one quarter say it’s always present in the bedroom. Christian Sex Toys: Spicy Or Sacrilegious?

If you’d like to use your words to spice things up in the sack, don’t be embarrassed. Start small, and base your feisty follow ups on how your partner reacts. Each man has a different taste, but you’ll definitely steam up your love making with a bit of sexy talk while doing the deed. Dirty Talk Dos and Don’ts

Do you talk dirty while having sex?

More Evidence That CO2 Global Warming Is a Giant Hoax

November 28, 2011

IBD Editorials Sponsored by:
. Global Warming Models Called Into Question By New Study

Posted 11/25/2011 06:03 PM ET

Climate: The left’s proposed solutions for the world’s ills are based on the idea that carbon dioxide is a climate-heating poison that must be scrubbed from the global economy at all cost. Yet another study shows this is foolish.

The study in the journal Science found that global temperatures appear to be far less sensitive to the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere than originally estimated.

This sounds prosaic, but it’s a bombshell — another in a long line of revelations showing the scientific fraud at the heart of the anti-global warming movement.

The study’s findings are simple and devastating. “This implies that the effect of CO2 on climate is less than previously thought,” said Oregon State University’s Andreas Schmittner, the study’s main author.

Even with a doubling of CO2 from levels that existed before the Industrial Revolution, the study found a likely increase in Earth’s temperature only from about 3.1 degrees Fahrenheit to 4.7 degrees Fahrenheit.

That compares with the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s 2007 report, which predicted an increase of 3.6 degrees to 8.6 degrees.

Coupled with the fact the average global temperature hasn’t increased at all over the past decade — even though under all of the global warming models now in use, this is impossible — warmist ideology is crumbling. There is no climate armageddon on the horizon.

But don’t expect global warm-mongers to admit this. As we’ve discovered from a new trove of emails sent by leading European climate-change scientists, there has been a vast, global green conspiracy to silence scientific opposition to the idea — even to the point of falsifying data and ruining others’ careers.

Subscribe to the IBD Editorials Podcast The left’s entire prescription for solving the world’s ills — ranging from population control to strict regulation of businesses to shrinking CO2 output — are premised on the notion that carbon-dioxide is a poison.

Happily, the left’s pernicious, economy-destroying and false global warming ideology is collapsing under a growing body of evidence that the CO2 scare is a fraud.

Who says we have nothing to be thankful for?

5 Sex Secrets That Drive Women Wild

November 26, 2011

Here is another great guest post from Men’s Health Magazine.
Guys pay attention and women show this to your guy.
John wilder

5 Sex Secrets That Drive Women Wild

You have probably thought about what it would be like to be a rockstar in the bedroom, every man has. Unfortunately most men will never take the time to make it happen. You’re are one of the few who took the initiative and found this webpage. Congratulations. Now here are 5 Secrets about women you must know before you continue…

Secret #1) A Woman Will Never Tell You If You
Suck In Bed

While a woman will complain for hours to her girlfriends about how clumsy and clueless you are in the bedroom… she will never, ever, EVER tell you.

A woman would rather put up with “average” sex than risk of telling you and hurting your feelings.

Instead, she’ll usually just FAKE like she’s enjoying it.

Have you ever worried that a woman might be “faking it” when she’s with you?

If so, you’re not alone. Women “fake it” all the time.

This can cause a serious problem…

Since a woman won’t ever tell you that you suck in bed, a lot of times guys never know that they are doing anything wrong.

(Some guys are even fooled into thinking that they are “good”!)

When in reality… the woman is lying there wishing she was with someone who really knew what they were doing… so she wouldn’t have to fake it.

>>Key takeaway: Many guys who are bad in bed don’t know it! (I used to be one of them…)
Secret #2) A Woman Will Always Leave A Guy Who Is Bad In Bed

So will a woman stay with a man who is just “ok” in bed?

Sure… until she finds someone else.

If you’ve ever had a woman you were sleeping with all of a sudden lose interest in you and didn’t know why… this was probably the reason.

>>Key takeaway: A woman will always LEAVE a man who is bad in bed! Sure, she will usually wait until she finds someone new… but she will always leave.
Secret #3) A Woman HATES Showing You How To Please Her

So why won’t a woman just show you how to please her in bed?

Well, let me ask you this – would you ever date a girl who was 40 pounds overweight and dressed like your brother with the thought that you would SHOW HER how to start eating right, going to the gym, and dressing more feminine?

Hell no!

Just like you don’t want to SHOW a woman how to be a woman… a woman doesn’t want to SHOW YOU how to be a man.

And in a woman’s eyes, a HUGE part of being a man – perhaps the most important part – is knowing how to rock her world in the bedroom.

The last thing a woman ever wants to do is to be your sex-ed teacher. Just the thought of showing a guy how to “do it” is so embarrassing to her that she’d rather just find someone else… no matter how well the 2 of you “click” outside of the bedroom.

>>Key takeaway: A woman’s BIGGEST turnoff is having to show you what to do in bed… so if you want to reap the rewards of being AMAZING in the bedroom… you had better learn on your own
Secret #4) It Is Relatively EASY To Make A Girl Sexually Addicted To You

Yes, you read that right. The reasons why are simple:

* Women LOVE sex. (If you need proof of this, think about how loudly a woman screams when she is getting off! Those aren’t screams of pain you know…)

* 99% of men are TERRIBLE in bed.

* Because of this, it is very RARE that a woman gets to have great sex

* So when she does find a man who can give it to her… she wants to have sex with him ALL THE TIME!

I’m sure you’ve heard of or known couples who have sex 3+ times a day. Well guess what?

In most cases… the WOMAN is initiating it!

It’s because she loves having sex and she was fortunate enough to find one of those very rare men who knows how to give it to her right.

>>Key takeaway: When you are great in bed, a woman will become sexually addicted to you… and want to be in bed with you ALL THE TIME!
Secret #5) A Woman Will NEVER Leave A Man Who Is Great In Bed!

Unlike men, women are NOT interested in having a variety of sexual partners.

So… when a woman finds a guy who is GREAT in bed, she knows that she has found something RARE.

She will never even look at another man. I’m sure you’ve seen this happen before.

Guys who have these skills can basically do WHATEVER THEY WANT and a woman will stick with them.

Have you ever heard about a woman who is with a total jerk… but she just won’t break up with him?

THIS is usually the reason why.

How To Make Your Man Come While Giving Him a Blow Job

November 22, 2011

My blow job articles are my all time top scoring posts now in the thousands of page views day after day
What I find interesting is the number of search engine queries about how to make a man come while giving
him a blow job or giving him a blow job but he can’t come.

I thought that I would give women instruction on how to make him come while blowing him.

The first thing that you need to know is that once you start, you have to keep up the stimulation.
If you need to take a rest to catch your breath or give your jaw muscles a little break, you
need to continue stroking his dick with your hand. Otherwise he loses the momentum and it is like
having to start all over again.

There are other things that you can do to arouse him. You can do what I like to call a nipple massage
of his dick. You lean over his body with him lying on his back and just barely graze both your nipples
up and down his dick. It feels great to him. Then you can take your silky panties (no cotton panties,.
cotton panties only belong on little girls and little old ladies) and stroke them on his dick and balls.
It is a reminder of how delicious the inside of your well lubricated pussy feels to him

While blowing him stroke those panties lightly and rythmically on the underside of his balls.
You can also have him hold a Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator on the base of his dick while you
blow him, It will force hime to come with the most mind blowing climax he has ever felt.

Be sure not to spit his come out of your mouth. That communicates to him that you think
that he is gross. How would you like it if he spit your vaginal fluids out of his mouth
after he made you come? Let him shoot in the back of your throat and you won’t taste his
come or have to deal with the consistency which for women who complain about blow jobs
complain about. He will love you for it and it is a rare treat. Any woman can lay
there with her legs spread while he humps you and you can think about other things.

It becomes so much more personal and ultimately loving when you take his dick
in your mouth and make love to him in this way. If you refuse he will feel cheated
and resentful.

If you have problems with this contact me.
John Wilder

16 Tips To Improve Your Sex Life

November 19, 2011

If there’s one thing we all want more of, it’s sex. No matter how good it is or how much you’re having, all of us—men and women—would probably agree more would be better.

But we don’t just want more, we want to try new things, act out our fantasies, be her best ever. And yet most of us continue to have the same old sex. Hey, at least we’re getting some, right?

Guys, it’s time to stop settling for mediocre sex lives. You deserve better.

Simply answer these 16 questions to figure out what’s preventing you from having the sex you crave—and learn how to start having the best sex of your life.

How Often Do You Have Sex?

The average guy has sex about twice a week if he’s married—a little less often (once) if he’s single, a little more (three times) if he’s single but shacking up.

If you’re not hitting your number, work on your approach. In a University of New Orleans study, nearly 70 percent of men reported that when they initiate sex, they overestimate their partners’ desire to get it on, most likely because they think women are like gas grills: Flick a switch and they get hot.

Talking to her—about work, family, the news—is the greatest aphrodisiac for a woman because it establishes a bond of sharing that she equates with romance. To you, it’s conversation. To her, it’s intimacy.

How Stressful Is Your Job?

You’d think stress would be as deflating to a sex life as a litter of puppies in the bedroom. But a stressful job (or even a dangerous one) involving some level of competition, as in law or sales, can actually improve it.

“Real competition can drive up testosterone, which boosts libido,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of Why We Love. “Being amped up by a high-powered, high-stress job is more likely to make you more sexually active” than idling in a cushy, low-key career.

If work doesn’t fire you up, seek a testosterone jolt in a recreational sports league. Men who get game increase testosterone levels by 15 percent, according to a Pennsylvania State University study. Even better, make her your steady doubles partner. The same study showed that women increased their libido-regulating testosterone by 49 percent during competition.
What Noises Does She Make?

A Kinsey Institute study found that nearly one-quarter of women reported some distress in their sexual relationships in the preceding month. One of the most common causes of dissatisfaction: boredom.

“The common denominator of satisfied couples is that they’re very playful,” says sex therapist Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Oral Sex. “My definition of sex is adult play. It should be fun and recreational. You should laugh and release all those pleasure endorphins. A sense of humor is an essential ingredient in great sex because it takes pressure off performance.”

Toys = instant play. Shop together at a toy store (the kids’ kind) for playthings you can bring into the bedroom. Imagine the possibilities with washable paint, masks, water pistols, and toy handcuffs.

On a Typical Night, We . . .

The average man’s sex life stays the same or even improves once he ties the knot. To ensure this outcome, do what good pitchers do—throw changeups into your nightlife at least once a week.

“Novelty is good for sex, and I don’t just mean novel sex. Novelty in your social life,” Fisher says. It can be as simple as skipping dinner to play miniature golf or listening to a live band instead of the car radio. Anything that makes the start of your date less predictable can change up the ending, as well.

Can You Name All Her Hot Spots?

A man should know at least 10 hot spots on his partner’s body that drive her wild, says Cadell. Not knowing is a sign that you might not have enough colors on your palette to paint a sexual masterpiece. Simple technique—a kiss around the earlobe, a stroke between her toes—will help you find them.

“Before you try to experiment with wild positions, be the best student of her body that you can be,” says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author. To find more spots, slow down your kissing, feeling, and touching so dramatically that it barely feels as if you’re moving. “It’s all about slowing sex down to find where she’s receptive,” Brame says.

How Do You Compliment Her?
The way a woman feels about her body correlates with how inhibited she feels inbed.Sure,complimenting her shoes validates her taste, and saying something about her eyes reinforces her beauty. But praising her most guarded body parts—butt, thighs, waist—may be more important to your sexual satisfaction. “Women spend their lives trying to look good for men,” Fisher says. “So a woman who feels she’s sending the right visual signals is pleased withherself.”
The very best time for a “nice ass” shout-out is when there’s absolutely no chance that you’ll be having sex soon, like before you walk into her parents’ house for Sunday brunch. “It’s a gift to compliment her outside of the bedroom,” says Fisher. Praising her body at times other than when there’s a bulge in your pants reinforces your sincerity.

How Often Does She Orgasm?

Only 30 percent of women can climax through intercourse alone; most also need direct clitoral stimulation, as evidenced by the fact that it takes women an average of 4 to 6 minutes to climax when they masturbate and 10 to 20 minutes during intercourse.

“Making love with one’s penis is like trying to write calligraphy with a thick Magic Marker,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. “The tongue is mightier than the sword.”

Assure your partner that going down on her turns you on, and consider the virtue of the flat, still tongue, which she can move against to climax.

How Long Does Sex Last?

The minimum duration of sex—including seduction, foreplay, and intercourse—should be about 30 minutes. “Anything under half an hour is not satisfying to a woman,” Cadell says. If you’re not quite there yet, build up your sexual stamina by aiming to make each sexual encounter a few minutes longer than the one before.

Research shows that the average man lasts about 14 minutes during intercourse, but you don’t necessarily have to go that long to satisfy her. For every 30 minutes of sex, only one-quarter to one-third of the time should be spent on actual intercourse, Cadell says. This leaves plenty of time for the other things she likes—decoupage!—and you won’t feel as if you’re being clocked.

How Often Do You Have Quickies?
Foreplay lasts an average of 12 minutes, and women would like it to go on for an averageofabout18, according to a study by the University of New Brunswick in Canada. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take the express lane sometimes. One quickie a week is a significant sign that your relationship is strong—and that your partner understands your sexual needs, says Cadell.

If she’s nice enough to understand how much you need the 1-minute variety, reciprocate with the 1-hour kind (or at least the 18-minutes-of-foreplay kind).
How Firm Is Your Erect Penis?

You’d think erections would be like martinis—the stiffer the better. “The theory is that it should be rock hard, but if it’s hard enough for penetration, it’s probably okay,” says Jon Pryor, M.D., a professor of urologic surgery at the University of Minnesota and a Men’s Health advisor.

The best time to do an erectile self-check is first thing in the morning—when the smooth muscle around the penis is relaxed, allowing blood to engorge it. If you wake up with a limp biscuit, it could be a sign of poor bloodflow or low testosterone.

What’s Your Blood Pressure?

“High blood pressure is an important cause of arteriosclerosis—and arteriosclerosis blocking the arteries to the penis may be the most common cause of erectile dysfunction,” says Thomas Lee, M.D., a professor of medicine at the Harvard medical school.

Get your BP checked at least once a year. Losing weight and exercising will lower your blood pressure, as well as your body-mass index (BMI), another important number to know. In a 2003 Harvard study of more than 30,000 men, guys with BMIs over 28 had more than a 30 percent higher risk of ED than did men whose BMIs were less than 23.
Does She Know You Masturbate?

“The more often people masturbate, the more often they have sex—it’s a surprising correlation,” says Fisher. “It’s probably because sexual arousal elevates testosterone and dopamine, and that can lead to more sex.”

A woman who’s cool with your self-pleasure—and who also masturbates—is likely to be a better lover because she knows what pleases her most, Brame says. A recent survey showed that 20 percent of women masturbate once a week and 60 percent of those women use sexual devices to do so.

Need a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift? The popular 4-inch Pocket Rocket ( is discreet but packs a vibrating wallop. And the Rub My Duckie vibrating bath toy ( makes showering together lots of good, dirty fun.

Do You Share Your Fantasies?

Healthy couples share information on what they like and don’t like. “You don’t have to spend hours talking about your sex life,” Brame says. “What’s important is sharing with your partner something that’s deeply intimate.”

Fisher suggests talking at a safe, nonsexual time. Women get intimacy just from talking, and this way, she won’t feel pressured to perform right away—and that can make her more willing to put on the malfunctioning wardrobe another time.

How Old Is She?

When men and women are younger, they tend to have more sex, but the quality increases with age. “As she gets older, she’ll lose a lot of inhibitions and become more comfortable with her body,” Brame says. “And that’s probably the single most important thing in sex—feeling at home in your own body.”

What Do You Both Wear to Bed?

Button-up pajamas send the message that she’s not ready for sex. But sleeping in the nude doesn’t necessarily indicate sexuality, either. The true green light: when she’s giving some thought to what she wears—because that implies an element of seduction. Whether it’s lace or a tight T-shirt, spending some time and thought preparing for bed is a sign that she’s more open to sex.

If she’s a flannel gal, you can’t quickly turn her into a garters and see-through nightie fan. Start slowly: Buy her a pair of flannel boxers and a cotton tank top. She feels the comfort; you see some skin.
Where Do You Have Sex?

“Don’t always make love in the same place at the same time in the same position: It’s the kiss of death in any relationship,” Cadell says.

In fact, you should always be striving to learn new techniques to satisfy her, like this one: Multitask while giving her oral sex. Lick her clitoris, stimulate her G-spot with one hand, and brush your other hand all through the intimate terrain of her butt. “If you can do that,” Cadell says, “she’s never going to let you go.”

10 Sex Tips for Men To Make You a Better Lover

November 16, 2011

These tips compliments of Men’s Health Magazine with the last one being my own tip for giving her more orgasms. Put these tips to use and you will get more and better sex with your woman. Enjoy
John Wilder

Sex isn’t a Race

Sex isn’t a race, so take time to explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina and don’t cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress.

Give Her Plenty of Time

If you want morning sex, set your alarm at least 20 minutes early. A woman won’t want sex if she’s hurried, and she’ll probably need about 20 minutes to reach orgasm.

Grunts are Better Than Nothing

She’ll give longer and more enthusiastic oral sex if you give her a verbal response. Even appreciative grunts are better than silence.

Vary the Stimulation

When you’re all the way inside her, add side-to-side movement or up-and-down pelvic pressure against her clitoris to vary the stimulation.

Make a Fantasy Lottery

Both you and your lady write five sexual fantasies down on five separate notebook cards. Then head to a restaurant where you can get a booth and some privacy in a public setting. Over dinner and wine, pull out the cards and make three piles—”yes,” “maybe someday,” and “not on your life.” Put the possibles in a shoe box, and once a month pull out a winner.

Exercise Together

Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.

Ignore Bombshells

Remain calm when a decked-out bombshell strolls by and you’ll be sending the message that you’re too smart to be wowed by a Wonderbra and red lipstick.

Give Her the Perfect Compliment

The best compliments are the ones that involve multiple senses. “You have beautiful breasts” is nice. “You have beautiful breasts—they feel so soft and warm in my hands” is that much more intimate.

Give Her Multiple Orgasms

By going down on her and getting her off and then when you feel the urge to ejaculatePull out of her and go down on her again to get her off before reentering her. Doing it This way you can get her off numerous times and last up to two hours.

A Great Guest Post From A Valued Blogger

November 15, 2011

Are You Hunting for Perfection in Your Spouse?
Posted on November 14, 2011 by lorilowe| 4 Comments

The following is based on the introduction to my upcoming book, FIRST KISS TO LASTING BLISS: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage.

Wading waist-deep down Missouri’s Fox River on a hot summer day, I learned to hunt for geodes. These semi-round sedimentary rocks, said to be 350 million years old, contain hidden crystals. The casual hiker sees rocks, but geode hunters notice their cauliflower-shaped exterior and envision gem-like interiors.

At the sweet, shallow spot of “The Fox,” abundant geodes range in size from a newborn’s fist to more than 100 pounds, discovered under the water and lying nearby in the grass, as if tossed there during an Easter egg hunt for us to find. We also found them lodged in the riverbanks with ten feet of earth pressing down on them—half circles poking out of the earthen wall, waiting for erosion to release them into the river.

Geodes’ sparkling interiors are generally white or clear, but some are colored, depending on mineral content. The product of a combination of water, natural chemicals, pressure, and heat, each porous geode is unique. There is no way to tell which will open to reveal a crystal treasure and which will reveal a solid mass or a greasy ball of sediment.

We’re a lot like geodes, and so are our marriages. Without exception, we feel pressure from all sides, which can at times feel like the weight of the world. There is no shortage of muck dredged up in our society and no way to prevent seepage of this sediment into our lives. Some people, like geodes, use stressful situations to help shape, improve, and crystallize themselves. Others crumble under the pressure, store the muck for someone else to discover, or become hardened masses—of no real value to others.

For my upcoming book, FIRST KISS TO LASTING BLISS: Hope & Inspiration For Your Marriage, I interviewed happily married couples across the country, some who have faced intense adversity—the kind that would pummel most marriages—yet became closer as a result. I tried to discover what made some marriages succeed despite hardship, while others wash away with the first storm. Successful couples don’t just “overcome” adversity; instead, they become changed by it and incorporate what they have learned into a more perfect union.

We’re all hunting for perfection—in ourselves, in others, and in our relationships. We won’t find it by looking at the outer shell. Just as there isn’t just one path for creating an ideal geode (volcanic geodes differ greatly in composition and form from Mexican “coconut” geodes, for example), there certainly isn’t one recipe for an extraordinary marriage, although there are some common ingredients. Since we have different needs and personalities, no magic technique will work for all marriages. Still, despite our range of challenges, we humans share similar fears, desires, and longings. So when some couples uncover what makes a marriage—even one fraught with major obstacles—work well, we want to hear their story, to draw our own conclusions and to add them to our own life experiences. Success stories are all around us if we listen.

At some point, all marriages will face intense pressure. Will the pressure change you? Undoubtedly. Will it break you apart? Maybe. It may also create something entirely new and better than expected, like the twin-chambered geode, a merger of two hollow geodes. Learning how others have handled crises can help you prepare for your own.

Lest we think true love is a one-in-a-million find, consider that each spring, countless geodes are released from the earth, a seemingly impossible product of millions of years of time and energy. Be open to the possibility that your hunt for perfection is over, that your marriage is perfect but unfinished, being honed by outside forces, in the same way that a child is a perfect but incomplete person—no less perfect because of he or she is in the early stages in life.

The couples profiled in this book are from different generations and walks of life, but they all became united in their difficulties. Those who faced multiple tests found their marriage became stronger with each one. Each couple found joy together, even amidst chaotic lives. These are not couples who merely “stuck it out”; theirs are great love stories whose commitment is not dependent on their circumstances. I hope they contribute to your own love story.

First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage will be available December 8th on To learn more, go to The book’s Facebook page is

Good and Bad Date Foods

November 11, 2011

The Best and Worst Date Foods
5. Chocolate:

White chocolate isn’t chocolate at all. In fact, in contains exactly 0 percent cacao, which means it contains none of the libido-boosting, feel-good chemicals found in dark chocolate. Instead, white chocolate producers sub in a troubling mix of hydrogenated oil and sugar and pass it off as the real thing. When it comes to chocolate, the darker the better, so look for bars with at least 60 percent cacao. Our favorite is Chocolove Rich Dark, which packs 65 percent of the good stuff.

Eat This!
Dark Chocolate

290 calories, 22 g sugars

4. Appetizer:

Just because it’s crab doesn’t mean it’s healthy, especially when the innocent crustacean is attacked by mayo, breadcrumbs, and a fryer full of bubbling oil. Take the seafood au naturel (or maybe with just a squirt of lemon juice or a dip of cocktail sauce), and you’ll benefit from a low-fat, high-protein treat loaded with sperm-boosting, libido-stoking zinc and mood-brightening omega-3 fatty acids. Plus, you share it and you eat it with your hands—the perfect way to get Cupid’s attention.

Eat This!
Raw Bar Appetizer for Two

175 calories (each), 8 g sugars

3. Dinner:

Besides being surprisingly lean, lamb packs plenty of protein, which boosts production of dopamine and norepinephrine, hormones that increase alertness and assertiveness in the bedroom. It’s also a great source for zinc—a mineral that boosts libido by reducing your body’s production of a hormone called prolactin, which may interfere with arousal.

Don’t be fooled by the vegetables in the primavera, though. Most primavera renditions start with butter and finish with heavy cream and cheese. But the real offender here is the pasta itself. If you’re looking to progress past dinner tonight, avoid refined carbohydrates, such as pasta, breads, and cake, at all costs. These burn quickly, which spikes blood sugar. Besides setting both men and women up for an energy crash, a blood sugar spike also creates a surge of insulin, which raises blood pressure. And high blood pressure is the enemy of sturdy, reliable erections.

Eat This!
Lamb Chops

550 calories, 25 g fat

2. Dessert:

Dessert may be the most pivotal decision of the night, since choosing poorly means a ton of excess calories and sugar and none of the rewards you reap from a smart decision. Case in point: chocolate fondue. British scientists have discovered that women release four times more endorphins after eating chocolate than they do after making out. Plus, the cocoa in chocolate contains methylxanthines, stimulants that increase your body’s sensitivity—ensuring that your skin registers even the slightest touch or movement against it. Strawberries are packed with anthocyanins, a powerful antioxidant that helps with bloodflow below the belt. Raspberries have them too, but the sauce that comes with your huge hunk of fatty cheesecake is likely cloaked in sugar, with only a few token berries floating around. At 1,000 calories for the whole package, you’d be better off eating three ice cream sundaes then going fork-to-mouth with this gut-bomb.

Eat This!
Chocolate Fondue

250 calories, 18 g fat

1. Cocktail:

When it comes to drinking and romance, a slight buzz can work well to build confidence and increase arousal signals between your brain and your genitals, but too much sugar and booze will actually depress your nervous system, making it harder for men to maintain an erection (and women to maintain interest). Most margaritas made in bars and restaurants are 90 percent premixed solution, which gets its nuclear green glow not from an abundance of fresh lime juice, but from high-fructose corn syrup and food coloring. All of that sugar will work to give you a quick jolt of energy, but will eventually team up with the tequila to bring you crashing down (which could easily compromise dessert back at your place).

Cosmos, on the other hand, are made with a bit of restraint and healthier mixers—a splash of cranberry, a squeeze of fresh citrus—which keep the calories down and your energy up. Or save more than 550 calories and load up on heart-healthy antioxidants (vital for effective bloodflow) by opting for a glass of bubbly.

Drink This!

150 calories, 18 g sugars

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