Women, You Don’t Give a Blow Job With Your Mouth But With Your Heart

February 13, 2012

Today my blog went over 70,000 page views, YEA!

This is for all those women out there who refuse to give their men a blow job. You are doing damage
to your relationship.

Think about it, you are telling your man that your wants and desires are more important than his
You are telling him that you are better than him and more deserving than him.

Any woman can lay there with her legs spread and think about something else while he pounds away
at you. It takes real comitment and determination to take his penis into your mouth and give
him such intense pleasure.

He feels cheated because you won’t do this for him. He may even have had a previous lover or
lovers who did it for him. The fact that you refuse causes real resentment in his mind
for you.

I know you say that it is gross and disgusting. Get over yourself. Millions of women
give their men blow jobs and have positive self esteem for giving their man such
intense pleasure. It only takes a second to quickly swallow his come. If you choose
to do this, it communicates how much you love him and want to make him happy and content
with you. I suggest that you do it with soft lights on so that you can watch his face
and the intense pleasure that you are giving him. By seeing the pure joy and passion
in his face makes doing it for him much easier.

Sex is one of the big 3 that couples fight about. Why should you fight him, why not
give him what he is asking for. All of you women fantasized about “happily ever after”.

NEWSFLASH, Men do to. In their mind you give him sex willingly and lovingly when he needs
it and you give him a blow job because you love him and want to make him feel happy and
contented. So many women however are very self centered in their fantasy and NEVER

By doing this, you put your relationship in jeapordy because there are other women out there
who will give him what he wants and needs. You can continue to be selfish and self centered
or you can change and take care of your man. The relationship that you save could well be
your own.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

The Single Biggest Mistake That Women Make In Their Men Relationships

February 10, 2012

Okay ladies, I am going to give you an inside look at the male psyche.


Lack of respect shows up in many ways. The number one complaint that I get about women from men in my
practice is that they don’t make it safe for men to tell them the truth. If a man makes a comment that can in any way be construed by the woman as negative about her, invariably she goes on the attack; yelling, screaming, name calling and/or crying. The goal of course is to teach that “no good man” to never ever critique her again. Men learn the lesson all too well and learn to seethe in silence. All you have done is to effectively KILL THE INTIMACY between the two of you.

You must learn to be willing to listen to anything that he says and give him SAFE HARBOR to say anything to you. If you don’t all you do is cause him to lie to you or just shut down his emotions. You women don’t have any problem at all telling your guy what is wrong with him and what you would like for him to do to change it. IT IS NOT FAIR and builds real resentment towards you. You are KILLING YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP by this practice.

Another thing that is common to women disrespecting their husbands is belittling his sexuality with negative comments like: What are you some kind of pervert, is that all you ever think about? A man is at his most emotionally vulnerable place when he approaches you for sex. Inside every grown man is a little boy whose feelings are CRUSHED when you say hateful hurtful things to him. We are taught not to show our emotions but we definitely FEEL THEM and resent you for making us keep them inside. In fact studies have shown that the average married woman with kids at home keep their husbands on a starvation diet of sex once a week or less when the average guy needs it 3 times a week. You need to take better care of your man.

Men want to be appreciated for the things that they do to try and take care of you. If you want more of that, say thank you and tell him that you really appreciate what he does for you and MEAN IT!

Tell him how good looking he is to you and mean it. Tell him how good he is with the kids. Don’t be anal about what he does to help around the house. I once worked with a famous book author who refolded the towels after her husband had folded them and put them away. He said that the did not mind helping but she did not get to dictate how it got done. Relax, it is not worth battling over. You need to learn to choose your battles. There is really not that much worth fighting about and hurting your husbands feelings over.

The relationship that you save could be your own.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Sex Is Better Than Drugs Or Booze, You Need To Have It More

February 3, 2012

Sex Is Good For You, Why Are You Not Having More?

Sex is Good For You
Sex is one of those things that can make your life soar, or cause you untold grief and heartache. You have a choice in the matter so why not work to make it fantastic? Sex is one of the big three that couples fight about. Why not stop fighting and just start having sex? Couples fight because someone is not getting their needs taken care of.

When you have an orgasm, your body releases endorphins to the brain. Those endorphins have the ability to lessen pain. Endorphins create an elevated mood. Endorphins help prevent clinical depression. It can also help prevent post-partum depression. Frequent orgasms promotes positive bonding between men and women. Think back early in your relationship when you were having sex frequently. Remember how tightly bonded the two of you were?

Frequent sex helps control weight and is equivalent to a workout in a gym, burning an average of over 200 calories. You say you don’t have time to go to the gym, well you can always make time to have sex with your partner at home and it saves gas going to and from the gym. Frequent sex like frequent exercise actually helps to lessen your appetite for food. So often people substitute food for sex. You are better off substituting sex for food.

Frequent sex helps the body’s immune system to fight off disease. Frequent sex creates strong bonds between a man and a woman and helps to prevent divorce and makes cheating much less likely. Sex helps prevent prostate cancer. Frequent sex has been documented to help prevent heart disease and heart attacks. Sex after a heart attack is not only recommended by cardiologists but helps to strengthen the heart. Frequent sex is commanded and commended in the Bible. Frequent sex helps women avoid osteoporosis. People go to the gym to do workouts. One of the suggested exercises is deep knee squats. If women will have their man lay on the floor, she can do deep knee squats over him as she is having sex with him. This tightens the butt, calves, thighs and tummy

Imagine doing a workout and having sex at the same time. You get a two for one benefit. Having sex with a man and having your legs lifted in the air or draped over his shoulders keeps you flexible

Doing pelvic thrusts is good for the tummy and lower back muscles. Having a man fondle and play with a woman’s boobs could help discover any knots or growths in her breasts and could save your life.

Doing Kegel exercises during sex can prevent incontinence later in life.

Doing Kegel exercises during sex can serve to make you more highly orgasmic and definitely improves the quality of sex for both the man and the woman. Frequent satisfying sex improves work productivity.

Frequent climaxes have served women to help shrink their uterus and abdomen more quickly after childbirth.

Frequent sex helps to promote restful and recuperative sleep.

Sex can comfort a person when they are sad and depressed. Sex is a wonderful way to celebrate a positive life event. It truly is a wonderful cure-all if couples will just stop refusing sex and let go and take care of their mate. There is also nothing more lonely, hurtful and depressing to have to masturbate because your partner refuses you. When you have a choice to do good or be self-centered, choose to do good. You will feel better about yourself. Finally in the chapter on Sex and The Bible, frequent and great sex is commanded and commended by God.

Women Here Is Some Great Sex Advice From the Bible

January 29, 2012

Let her breasts satisfy thee at ALL times and be thou always RAVISHED in her love. Proverbs 5:19

You will never see this biblical passage preached on in a sermon or taught on in a sunday school and that is too bad. Churches are all about telling girls and women that sex is bad, dirty and wrong and that good girls don’t do it. There are many more sex positive messages like these in the bible.

So let me give you a little biblical interpretation from this particular passage. Men love your breasts. Some times we need comfort in them when the world has beat us up. I call this titty nuzzling where I just want to bury my face in my woman’s breasts and seek comfort there and for her to make it all better.

This is sort of the reverse where the woman has had a very bad day and she seeks comfort in a man’s strong arms holding her and making it better for her. Men are strong but sometimes they feel weak and need encouragement and comfort from your breasts. You would do well to wrap your arms around his head and tell him to enjoy your breasts as long as he needs to and that it is okay with you and you want him to seek comfort from your breasts.

Men also love it when you rub your breasts against him in public, like standing close to him and holding his arm and pressing your breasts against the back of it to reassure him that you are his woman and proud to be so. We also love it when you rub your breasts against our naked bodies in bed.

I love it when a woman will give me a nipple massage, rubbing just her nipples up and down my body but especially against my penis. I love it when a woman is riding me on top and she leans forward and every stroke, caresses her breasts against my chest. See you never knew that your breasts were so multi faceted and useful to please your man.

The accented word is at ALL times. Not just when you feel like it. A man does not feel loved or respected when you reject his sexual overtures. He resents it especially if you force him to masturbate alone.

Ravished is a great biblical word meaning GREAT SEX. Don’t just lay there with your legs spread while he pounds away at you. Be active, be involved, let him know that you enjoy him trying to pleasure you. Give him sex willingly and lovingly. It is the greatest relationship insurance that you can have. Your man won’t be tempted to cheat on you if you willingly take care of his sexual needs. And finally don’t always make him approach you for sex. Take the initiative once in a while. Men Love that. And be willing to wear lingerie that pleases him. Men love seeing you in lacy frilly lingerie with some color and lace trim. The relationship that you save could well be your own.

Blessings on you and yours John Wilder

15 Great Sex Tips For Women To Improve Your Sex Life

January 19, 2012

X Here is a great article from an online magazine called the Stir. I suggest that you go there and sign up, its free.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

Welcome to The Stir. It’s easy to keep in touch with us:
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You’ve signed up for The Stir Daily Ten! Look for it in your inbox each evening..15 Sex Tips For Women (From Men)
Posted by Aunt Becky on January 13, 2012 at 8:09 PM

It’s hard, especially if you’ve been a long-term relationship or marriage, to keep the sexy alive. It’s easy to fall into a rut when it comes to a romp in the bedroom — we’ve all done it — and harder than ever to come back out of the rut with some new sexy moves.

There’s no one better to discuss how to please a man then, well, another man.

Here are 15 suggestions from guys about how to bring the heat back into your relationship:

1. Strap on some sexy stockings and a garter belt.

2. Keep your naughty bits well-maintained. A simple trim can suffice if a bikini wax is an undesirable (ouch!) option.

3. Try a lap-dance or a sexy strip-tease. That doesn’t mean you have to spend a fortune on lingerie — you can easily remove the frumpiest clothes sexily.

4. Sexy texts can really get him going. Send him something like, “I can’t wait for you to get home tonight — got a surprise for you,” and, well, give him a surprise!

5. If you’re separated by many miles, try phone sex. It may feel weird at first, but it can be wicked sexy if you go with it.

6. Try something new. If your man isn’t someone who is loud in the bedroom, explore new territory with him.

7. Lose all your inhibitions. Nothing revs a man up more than knowing that what he’s doing to you is driving you wild.

8. Guide him into doing what you like. Take his hand and put it wherever you’d like it to go — not only is this sexy for you, it’s a total turn-on for a guy.

9. Just like women like a blended orgasm (more than one part of the vagina stimulated at the same time), men do, too. Try mixing up a hand-job or a blow-job by playing with his testicles.

10. Talk dirty to him. If you’re not used to it, it may feel WAY awkward, but the more you do it, the more second-nature it will become. And there’s a bonus! It may turn you on, too.

11. Bust out the sex toys — remember, they can be multipurpose. Use them to stimulate the shaft of the penis while giving a blow-job to bring him to new heights of orgasm.

12. Switch positions. It’s easy to fall into the whole, “We have sex missionary style,” or “I’m always on top,” but you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by new positions.

13. Make sex a surprise. Put on his favorite pair of underwear and meet him at the door when he comes home from work.

14. Join him in the shower. No reason getting clean can’t come AFTER getting dirty.

15. Bring a bunch of pillows into the bedroom. They’ll help to achieve — and enjoy — new sexual positions.

More Tips on How To Very Naughty and Yet Moral

January 15, 2012

More Tips on Being Very Naughty and Yet Moral
I had a woman reader enjoy the post about being naughty and yet moral and asked if I planned any followups. I told her that I would do one because I always like to give my readers what they want.

Here is another very naughty thing that is fun to do. Go to the movies and have your wife wear a short skirt. During the movie, slide your hand up that skirt and inside her panties an get her off right there in the movies. She will have to bury her head on your shoulder for when she comes so as not to attract attention of everyone in the theatre. It is a little bit dangerous which makes more exciting. Be a gentleman and have a fresh pair of panties in your pocket for her to change into because the panties that she has on will be soaked.

Go to the drive in movies if they still have one in your town and do it in the drive in theatre like teenagers and let out a scream when you or she comes. People around you will hear you but won’t be able to see in the car.

If you enter a building with a freight elevator, you can stop it without an alarm going off and do it right there in the elevator.

Go to an amusement park and go on the ferris wheel and slide your hand up her skirt and get her off right there on the ferris wheel, people can see her panties when you come to the bottom of the rotation and get a peek but then you go back up again. It is very naughty.

When you go shopping, go into the dressing room with her and do it right there in the dressing room.

Use your own imagination to do something very naughty and over the top and have fun and have more sex. It feels good and you need more of it. Good sex at least twice a week has been proven to decrese the changes of a heart attack by over 50%

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

This Is For Women Who Claim To Hate Giving Blow Jobs

January 7, 2012

This is a re-blog of a woman who tells why you should consider getting over your being grossed out by giving your man a blow job
It is very understanding and yet instructive. I would recommend going to her site to sign up for her blog as well.
Here is the link and ladies enjoy and please leave comments to tell me what yout thing.


Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

\BlogAttractionCommitmentProgramsContactWhy Men Love Blowjobs?
Posted In All, Sex and Intimacy | 139 comments

Why Men Love Blowjobs?
Why Men Love BlowJobs

This article is not meant to be rude or offensive in any way. My aim is to help women become better women, and part of this is helping women understand more about men, what men want and why they want it.
[D]espite this being a sensitive topic, I hope we can all approach it with a little light-heartedness and let us remember that oral sex has been around for many, many years. I am also not condoning promiscuity, nor telling women they have to give their man oral sex. Ultimately, this is the woman’s personal choice.

My message is not for promiscuity or casual sex; I do not condone this. I condone healthy, strong committed and passionate relationships where each party does not reject the sexual essence of the other, and they each understand how the masculine and feminine energies operate.

Just as men sometimes have difficulty understanding why women are such emotional creatures, and don’t know how to deal with our ‘ocean of emotion’, a lot of women have trouble understanding the reason behind men wanting sex/blow-jobs, and put a man’s interest in sex down to the fact that they’re pigs, or that that’s ‘all they care about’, that that is all they want, and think they’re self-serving creatures who want it just because it feels good.

It is also widely known that the male and female sex drive are hard to reconcile. Women sometimes have a lot of trouble opening up to their men, and put it down to the fact that they ‘just don’t feel like it’. This is fair enough, women have crazy hormonal cycles, and find it hard to make time to focus on sex sometimes. We all know sex is extremely important to most men, but we don’t all really know truly why this is the case.

In fact, if you want a man to totally and completely commit to you, then this type of sexual intimacy is going to increase the likelihood of that happening to you.

If we can all have a bit more understanding and appreciation for the male sex, this will make it a much smoother ride for all of us, and we’ll be able to experience more freedom in our intimate relationships, once we truly understand and honor the differences between the sexes, and respect and understand what fills them up rather than fear and reject a man’s need for sex.

Dispelling the myths
[N]o, it’s not JUST because it feels good. Although, this is definitely a part of why men love oral sex so much, too. At first instance, most women think that men love it because they don’t have to do anything themselves, and can just sit back wait for the woman to do all the work. Without being crass, as this is not my intention, if it was because they don’t have to do anything themselves, then why don’t men get their pet dog to do it for them?

Indeed, if you ask a man why he wants oral sex so much, he probably won’t always be able to articulate exactly why he does. Men aren’t always as good as women are at decoding and expressing their own feelings and needs.

To put it simply, and generally, the basic reason why men love being given oral sex is because it is one of the ultimate feminine acts of love. Let me explain why below.

[T]he first reason is submission. In order for you to give your man oral sex, you have to be vulnerable to him, and you have to submit to him. This is one quick way for a man to feel more like a man; having a woman give him oral sex.

The visual aspect of submission is also a factor. For example, if a woman kneels before a man, this indicates that she is completely submitting to him, and giving him power/letting him dominate.

Of course, the act of giving a man a blow job is a feminine act (if she cares about him), as a woman has to (at least to large extent) be in her feminine (although not always, as some women are closed when they do it, and do it out of obligation) in order to actually give him oral sex. It is possible to shut down and remove yourself from the experience and not be fully present with your man when you are doing it.

[I]n order to give a man oral sex, a woman has to be vulnerable to him. In fact, she has to open to him and be comfortable with being vulnerable to him. Of course, some women engage in oral sex out of obligation, or feel that they have to in order to please their man, so they do it.

In other words, their heart is not in it. If a woman’s heart is not in it, and she’s doing it on autopilot, then she is not fully vulnerable to him, and the man will sense this, although he will most likely not want to accept that she is doing it out of obligation.

The concept of vulnerability goes hand-in-hand with the idea of trust. The masculine energy/men has a real need to be trusted. And of course, if you are comfortable being fully vulnerable to him, then this indicates that you are trusting of him.

The act of being given oral sex is a symbol of admiration…
[A]nother reason is that the act of being given oral sex is a symbol of admiration for the man. Without being rude or unnecessarily graphic, a man’s penis is as close to the heart of his manhood as you can get. Men subconsciously or consciously see it as part of what makes them a man. If a woman rejects this part of him, it leads him to think that she is not attracted to him, or that she doesn’t love him.

Perceived Love

[W]omen often perceive love in different things than what men do (obviously). A woman may perceive love in a man taking the time to listen to her, buy her gifts, take her out, commit to her, protect her, talk to her, put her first, hug her, caress her, call her, write her letters, making the first move, being the rock and the leader in the relationship, complimenting her, etc.

Whilst many of these things are important to men too, men also perceive great love in being given oral sex and having sex in general. They are not so much talkers like women are, and perceive that a woman loves him if she does have sex with him regularly. (Not always – but I’m not condoning casual sex here – I’m referring to those in a relationship).

There are many ways to express love. In this respect, men speak a different language of love, and it is no use telling a man you love him, and admire him (which is always fantastic, by the way!) if you will not open up to him sexually. If a man loves a woman, he craves for her to be open to him/accept him, not only sexually, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well.

The important thing to take out of this point is that by giving your man oral sex, you are giving him love in the way that he understands it and can receive it. In order to truly give to someone, you have to understand how they perceive love, and being taken care of. It’s the same in an intimate relationship.

Although you may not always perceive love in being given oral sex by him (at least not as much as he perceives love in being given oral sex), he perceives love. This is sometimes very difficult for women to relate to, which is why I am writing this post. It’s very easy for a woman to consider a man insensitive, sleazy or selfish if he is regularly asking for sex.

And, it is often that women exclaim in confusion: ‘Why is it all about the sex?!!” It isn’t. It’s about how men perceive love, acceptance and admiration.

For many years now, men have been encouraged to reject the ‘ungentlemanly’ side of themselves which breaks the rules, and wants to engage in passionate sex with a woman.

A lot of men are afraid to ‘hurt’ their woman, and fear asking for sex, for fear of rejection.

This leads to a painful contradiction for a man. He fears rejection if he asks, yet he feels rejection anyway, when you don’t want to have sex with him. To a man, if a woman wants to have sex with him regularly, it means she loves him and is attracted to him. It’s important women understand that the masculine energy perceives importance and significance in a woman being very sexually attracted to him.

[W]e have already established that men don’t talk as much as women do in order to connect with other human beings. But why do men perceive so much connection in sex? The reason is because – men don’t generally communicate to other men the way women communicate with other women (and men). It’s hard for a man to go to his guy friends to talk, to connect and to feel loved.

The masculine energy is all about getting things done, moving on to the next challenge, putting an end to things – and letting go. The feminine energy doesn’t let go, it holds on. This holding on entails the emotional side of things. We are much more emotional creatures, and simply don’t need sex to feel regularly connected to other human beings. (Not that men cannot connect with others through talking too).

The difference is that men do. This is one of the primary ways in which men can feel connected to, and loved by their woman.

Some women are uncomfortable with the idea of giving their man a blow-job, because they dislike being vulnerable (not that they consciously use these words).

They hate being asked for it, and they unfortunately start to make their man feel bad about his need for sex, and because the man loves the woman, he slowly rejects the intensely sexual part of himself in order to feel more loved and accepted by her, and in order not to ‘hurt’ her.

The reality is that the masculine energy is very much driven by sex. This doesn’t have to mean that men always just want to have sex, no, no! Sexual energy can be used in many other ways to benefit an intimate relationship.

Living in your Feminine
[T]o put it very simply, if a woman lives mainly in her feminine, and appreciates and chooses to understand rather than reject the masculine energy – she will have no trouble understanding and even appreciating, loving and enjoying the fact that her man gets a lot of his needs met through sex.

It is much easier to have a healthy relationship when you understand this. As uncomfortable and difficult as it can be.

What do You think about this topic? Do you agree?

Read this no-nonsense article on giving a man oral sex.

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