10 New And Inexpensive Dates To Take Your Wife On, Keep Dating Your Wife for Happily Ever After

June 1, 2012

If you want to stay happily married you need to continue to date your wife. You should always plan these, make arrangements for the sitter and let her relax and have fun. It will pay off handsomely in a more contented wife. You need to continue to make her feel pampered and cherished.

Go horse back riding then have a picnic in a canyon

Go on a late night hike to the top of a hill away from lights, bring a blanket and watch the stars.
 
Take a roll of pennies to a fountain and make wishes out loud as you throw them in.

Build a bonfire roast marshmallows (try roasting other things as well)

Get up extra early, watch the sunrise, then make breakfast together

Make life lists together

Have a candlelight chocolate making evening. Experiment with candy recipes. Everyone loves chocolate… become the chocolate giver

Write a letter, put it in an air-tight bottle and throw it into the ocean or a laker or even a river.

Ride a horse-drawn buggy

Go exploring with your date to find the coolest building in town. Then you can take a tour/ explore and have a picnic outside


Today My Blog Went Over 100,000 Page Views Check It Out And Help Me Make My Book a Best Seller

May 30, 2012

I am calling on all my Christian friends to help me make my book a best seller. It is entitled: Sex Education For Adults, Secrets To Amazing Sex and Happily Ever After Too. It is based upon biblical principles. It also shows all the sex positive messages from the Bible. You know what you hear in church is mostly that sex is bad, dirty and wrong and that “good girls don’t do it”. They never ever teach you all the sex positive messages in the Bible. Sex is one of the big 3 that couples fight about.

That is another reason to help me make my book a best seller. Divorce in our country is about 50% and among Christians it is not much better. I teach couples how to stop fighting and instead have peaceful conflict resolution. Traditional marriage counselors don’t teach these very vital skills and this chapter is also biblically based. I tell my coaching clients that even if they are stone cold atheists, the scripture quotes are outstanding psychology in and of themselves. How can you argue against: ”Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” and “a soft answer turns away anger”

Sadly the ones most devastated by divorce are our kids. Most of the problems in our country stem from kids who grew up in a single family home. One need only look at the president of the United States to see how skewed your world view can be when you only have one parent. This is not God’s plan.

My book is unique in the sex self help and marriage self help genre. I can’t find anything like it on Amazon and it is surely needed. So do me a favor and spread the word by word of mouth. Here is what you can do to help. Re-blog this post if you have a blog, hit the Twitter button at the bottom to Re-tweet this post, subscribe to this blog by hitting the RSS feed at the top right corner of the blog and tell all your friends.

The book will be published on Amazon January 10, 2013. It will be an E-book but even if you don’t have an E reader you can order it from my web site as a downloadable PDF book so you don’t need an E reader to buy it. It will be $9.95 and I promise you that it will be the best $9.95 you ever spent or I will return your money. How many books give you a money back guarantee?

If you have a business, you can advertise it in my book. I have embarked on a best seller strategy and have been studying on how to sell books for 3 years now. You can be a tax deductible sponsor of my book for a mere $50 now or $100 when it goes to press. It is a novel way to bring more customers to your website. You can also sell it as an affiliate and I pay 40% commission if you order it from my site rather than Amazon.

So I ask you to pray about it and make a positive difference in the world.

Blessings on you and yours

John Wilder


The Secret To Happily Ever After for Women

April 10, 2012

Ladies, sin came into the world through a rebellious woman. Sadly there are a lot of relationship problems today
for the same reason. So many women grew up with the notion of “happily ever after” but never gave a single thought
as to what that looked like for men.

The idea is to take care of each other and fulfill each other’s idea of happily ever after. Self centeredness is the
chief cause of marital breakups. The second most common cause of marital break ups is the lack of good conflict resolution
skills. I have several blog posts in the archives about how to resolve conflicts peacefully and I would recommend
that you check them out if you really want to get along with your mate.

But back to the happily ever after issue. Here is the very simple secret to “happily ever after”. Don’t say no
to your partners wants, needs and desires unless it is immoral, unethical or abusive. No is such an ugly word.
It implies that your wants, needs and desires are secondary to mine and I can’t be bothered with yours. You
have to understand how corrosive that is on a relationship.

There is a basic law that success breeds more success and failure breeds more failure. When you give to
your partner, it is a success for both and it tends to bring giving out in your partner which breeds more
success. When you tell your partner no, then they tend to act out in a passive aggressive manner and refuse
your requests which leads to failure and dysfunction.

Sadly I experienced failure with a woman because she initially agreed with my premise to not say no and then
broke up with me because I told her that I loved the “girly girl look” of women in skirts and dresses. Her
answer was: “no man is going to tell me what to wear”. In other words she did not care at all what I liked
and wanted, I could just stuff it and she chucked the budding relationship.

Ladies, try it my way for 30 days with the man in your life and see if you don’t have a happier more romantic
and more fulfilling life with him. Let me know how it works for you. I am praying that you all have
better and more fulfilling relationships.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder


Sexual Advice For Single Women

April 1, 2012

This is a repost of an older blog when I was not getting nearly as many page views. I re print for your
encouragement. Tomorrow my blog will go over 85,000 page views, yea me and thanks to all my readers.

Blessings on you and yours
John

It is no wonder that you women are more confused than ever. You have been bombarded by multiple conflicting messages about sex and relationships. In a case of “Art Imitating Life” the TV show entitled: Sex in the City demonstrated women’s sense of conflictedness about sex and relationships. They proved to be ultimately clueless and tended to reinforce their own stereotypes. Carrie, the supposed expert on sex based upon her column was just as clueless about men and relationships as the rest of her girlfriends. This illustrates a problem in our society. We do not have any male advice columnists. If you are having trouble with a man, does it not make sense that you would go to a man for advice and counsel? The problem is, is that there are no nationally published male advice columnists.

I have confronted women’s magazine editors over the issue that their advice to women is always written by women. Invariably, these advice writers rarely confront women to tell them that they are doing anything wrong or damaging to their relationship with their man. What you get effectively from these writers is that they pat women on the bottom and reassure them that they are fine and it is the man’s fault. I will address this further in another chapter on how the feminists and the media are ruining your sex life. I will also explain the word MISANDRY in that chapter. It is a word and a concept that you really need to become familiar with and to be proactive in combating.

I differ from women advice columnists in that I am equal opportunity proponent. I take on men when they need to be confronted, and I take on women as well. I explain how each hurts their relationship, wittingly or unwittingly. If you really want to learn things and make things better in your relationship and are willing to hear critique, then I am your guy. If you just want me to be patronizing and pat you on the fanny and tell you that you are wonderful, don’t read my column.

Not only will I take on the feminists and the media, I will take on the church as well. I can do this because I was formerly a Baptist minister.

The church ignores the sexual issues that are contained in the Bible. There are numerous positive messages in the Bible about sex. There is even a school for sex mandated in the New Testament for women in how to love their husbands that you never hear preached or taught on.

According to the Bible, sex is a gift from God. All you ever hear in church are the “thou shall nots” about sex, you never hear any positive messages on sex or the positive commands about sex in the Bible.

You can’t trust the media either. All they ever want to do is print the sensational and the salacious. Truth is rarely found in the pages of the media. For example, according to the media, they often quote: “The world’s oldest profession” is prostitution. This is not even close to being true. If the media had any integrity, and believe me they don’t, they would tell you about all of the other professions that came before prostitution. You can find these professions listed in the Bible in succession: Shepherd, farmer, contractor, rancher, musician, blacksmith, hunter, boat-builder, winemaker, well digger and then prostitution. None of that of course is sensational and would not sell newspapers, so they sacrifice truth for sensationalism, expediency and profits. Trust nothing that you read in print without checking it out with numerous other sources.

Now let me give you some very important advice about sex and men, especially if you are single. Sex in dating has become so devalued that it is looked on as little more than a good night kiss. It is not a question of if, but only when you have sex with a guy you are dating.

I submit to you that you need to become much more selective about engaging in sex. Women have adapted the practice of having sex with the guy and hoping for the best. You are invariably disappointed. You are looking for that “knight in shining armor” to sweep you off of your feet. You want the “happily ever after” of love marriage and children. I submit to you that you need to get to know early on what the man is all about and what his goals are in terms of love and marriage. Often guys are just looking to have fun with a woman and have casual sex. In other words, many of them are just looking to get laid. You need to get rid of those guys before you ever let them into your bed and into your pants. You really don’t want to just be used as someone’s piece of ass.

Too many of you are so taken with romance that you don’t want to ask any hard questions up front, to your own detriment. The problem is, that for every guy that you sleep with that does not develop into a relationship, you become a little harder, more jaded and cynical and less trusting. You must guard your heart and your body. We have epidemic venereal diseases today, some of which are lifelong, or even fatal. Before you let that guy into your pants, you need to see a very recent negative Aids test and testing for all other venereal diseases like Herpes. I know that sounds very cold and unromantic, but I am trying to be pragmatic here and protect you. You need to protect yourselves. Any guy worth having will not have a problem with doing this for you. If he is unwilling, run the other direction.

The other thing is that you want to know that he has a good job that he can provide for your family. You also want to know if he is seriously marriage and family minded. What kind of father does he aspire to be? These are questions that you need to have answered before you ever engage in sex with him. If he passes on all of these questions and you are still considering sleeping with him and he still wants to be with you, he needs to pass one final test before you have sex with him. You need to ask him to read the part of this book that teaches men how to make love with you. Sadly, there is no “SCHOOL FOR SEX FOR MEN” out there to teach them how to make love with you and satisfy you. You already know from experience that what I am saying is true. Most men are just clueless about making love with a woman. Even if he is reasonably okay in bed, reading my instructions will make him fantastic in bed. Don’t you want to have a great sex life? So bottom line is to have him read my instructions and reassure you that he is willing to follow those directions in bed. If he does this, then have sex with him. This will take 3 or 4 dates to find this information out. You could take matters into your own hands and go online to dating sites and put all of this in your profile. You don’t need to date a lot of men, you need to date a few quality men that are already pre-screened by your clear description of what you are looking for in a man that is contained in your profile. Yes, I know that it will scare a lot of men off. That is my idea. You don’t need the men that it will scare off, you need the men who read it and it makes sense to them. We have a model of what a good man should look like in the Bible as listed in the following verses:

Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it;…so men out men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church;…For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh…Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; Ephesians 5: 25,28,29,31,33

Likewise you husbands, dwell with them according to the knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers might not be hindered. I Peter 3:7

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking who he may destroy. I Peter 5:8

I would even encourage you to put these scriptures in your profile in describing the kind of man that you are looking for. You are then again by using these scriptures in your profile pre-screening guys that are not seriously marriage minded.

I know that you still dream of the “happily ever after”. According to David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead who are co-directors of the Marriage Project at Rutgers University, they have found the following factors yield the best chance at long-lasting satisfying marriage: having similar goals and interests, know each other well but don’t live together before they get married, come from intact families, marry after age 25, and are not expecting a child, similar in age, race, religion, political beliefs, education, intelligence and values. The payoff of a good marriage is personal happiness, more and better sex than singles, economic success, health and long life, and very positive benefits for the children.

This is the kind of advice that I have given to single women in my family. If you follow it, you have a much higher chance of having “happily ever after”.


A New Milestone

March 17, 2012

I just went over 80,000 page views. Yea Me. With WordPress new stats page I can now follow how
many countries are tuned into my blog. Would you believe that I have readers in over 101 countries.

I started this blog to help people with their personal lives, their marriages and most importantly their sex lives.
My comments have been overwhelmingly positive on here and I thank all the readers and commenters for your input.
One wonders if there is anybody out there actually reading your advice.

My number one detractors have been women for whom I have held accountable in their role with their men.
This is not surprising as the number one complaint that I get in my practice of marriage, relationship and
sexual coaching is that women don’t make it safe for men to tell them the truth if it has anything at all
to do with critiquing the woman. Women invariably will go all defensive, yell, scream, call him names
and/or cry with the goal of teaching that no good man to never do it again. What they do is kill their
own relationships. They ALWAYS reserve the right to critique husband but does not believe in the husbands
EQUAL RIGHTS to critique her.

If you force someone to shut up and keep their feelings to themselves like that you are in the process
of killing your own marriage or relationship. They will withdraw away from you and eventually the relationship
will fail.

Women you need to be able to listen to your man’s complaints about you and instead of going all postal on him you
need to ask him: “in what ways can I resolve this or make this better for you?” and then listen and follow his ideas
as much as possible. The relationship that you save can be your own. This is doubly important if you have
kids at home. Kids in a single parent family have the odds staggeringly negative against them. Most of the
problems in our country can be directly or indirectly traced to single parent families.

I am open to critique on this milestone. I am also open to guest posts on here. So feel free to drop me a note
in the comments section or drop me a line at marriagecoach1@yahoo.com. Also if you are having marriage, relationship
or sexual problems I will be only too happy to help you. I give an unheard of in the industry money back
gurantee.

blessings on you and yours
John Wilder


Here Are 10 Compliments To Give To Your Woman

March 16, 2012

10 Great Sexy Things About Women
Ten Sexy Things About Women
1. Her mouth. Wonderful thing that mouth that is so good at kissing you and making you all happy And horny. How wonderful it feels when she takes us into that mouth.
2. Her hair. I love to play with a woman’s hair. I love to get my face in it and I love it when she strokes across my naked body. I love how it smells.
3. Her breasts. Well you guys can extol at length over a woman’s breasts. We never tire of looking at them, sucking on them, feeling them against our backs, against the back of our arm when she is standing close, feeling them in our hands or again stroking them against our member.
4. Her butt. Do you ever tire of squeezing her butt cheeks in your hands, or looking at it in jeans or better yet in a short skirt or feel it against you doing it doggy style?
5. Her legs, yes especially when she is wearing high heels. Those calves make us want to melt, especially well shaved legs that are so silky to the touch.
6. Her heart which can forgive us for so much, and when it melts when we do something romantic for her.
7. Her vagina. Okay guys you know it is the promised land and heaven this side of earth when it is given to us freely and lovingly.
8. Her lingerie, the frillier and lacier the better. Most men would rather see their woman in frilly lacy lingerie than see her naked, especially when she flashes you when she gets into a car that we have opened for her in a short skirt.
9. Her whole body when it comes to hugging, sleeping next to us or cuddled up. Can anything feel so right, I don’t think so.
10. The way that she completes us. Admit it guys, you are never truly happy when you are totally single. We just are meant to have a woman of our own, God made it that way.

Tell that woman that you love her today and that you appreciate her and that you are glad to have her in your life. It will fill up her love bank.

Blessings on you and yours


Great Sex Techniques for Men To Become a Hero In the Bedroom

February 22, 2012

Sexual Foreplay and After Play, Be a Hero In The Bedroom

FOREPLAY AND AFTERPLAY

As a marriage, relationship, and sexual coach, I can’t believe how much lousy sex is happening out there. Maybe you are experiencing less than great sex with the man in your life or past men in your life. As a man speaking in defense of men, there is really no place for men to learn how to give our partners great sex. There is no SCHOOL FOR SEX out there. We all know where the body parts go, but men for the most part do not adequately understand a woman’s sexuality and how to give you fantastic sex. It is for this reason that I am writing this article. If you share this article with the man that you care about and tell him that you would really like to experience these things and ask him to do them with you, I promise, you will have better more enjoyable sex.

In conversations with women, I have come to understand that you need a transition period from the rat race to moving towards making love with your man. Most of you don’t have an “instant on” like men.

1. Brushing Hair Now I realize that for most of you, you are not necessarily going to get sexually aroused from having your hair brushed. What it does however is to give you that transition time to move towards sexual availability. The act of having your hair brushed is very pleasurable and releases endorphins in the brain. You feel pampered and that pampered feeling then causes you to have affectionate feelings towards your man. Five to ten minutes of hair brushing is a wonderful way to decompress from the daily grind. Animals instinctively groom each other and is something that we should do more. Your life will be better with more tactile stimulation.

2. Head to Toe Massage This technique has worked for me with every partner that I have ever been with. It is so effective as an arousal technique that I had an ex wife who would not make love with me unless I gave her a massage first. I start by stoking and lightly scratching a woman’s scalp with my fingernails. I then proceed from her neck all the way down to her feet. I spend more time massaging a woman’s butt like I am kneading bread. You have nerve endings in your butt that you did not even know that you have. I have never failed getting a woman wet from massaging her butt. I go on down and spend time massaging her feet. There is good reason for this. All of the nerve endings in your body terminate in your feet. By massaging the feet, you stimulate and wake up all of the nerves in a woman’s body. It prepares the rest of her body to be stimulated and aroused.

3. Let Your Man Undress You But Stop Him at Bra and Panties. (Author’s aside: So many of you out there are wearing utilitarian underwear, white nylon panties with no lace and a functional bra. Men get turned on visually, make sure that you have lacy and frilly bras and panties. Would you want a present that was not nicely wrapped or a cake with no frosting on it? Men need to see you in lacy and frilly lingerie.) The logic behind the man undressing you and having you stop him at bra and panties is to slow him down. The act of undressing you is a turn on for both of you as well. I tell my clients sex feels good, why rush it. Far too many men treat lovemaking like they do masturbation, they want to get it over in a hurry. Once you are down to bra and panties, have him continue a different variation of massage by lightly and slowly running fingertips up and down your entire body on both sides. This is incredibly arousing for you.

4. Lightly Stroke Nipples Through The Bra The idea behind keeping those bras and panties on and slowing down also reminds us of a bygone time in high school where we were furtively fondling. It adds to the excitement. Having your man lightly stroking your nipples through the bra gets them erect. Then let him slide his hand inside the cup of the bra before you allow him to remove your bra, all the while kissing you. Then he can remove the bra and proceed to more vigorous stimulation of your breasts and nipples by sucking them hard and fondling your breasts.

5. Stimulate you and stroke you through your panties Have him lightly stoke the midline of your vagina back and forth through your panties. Then have him blow hot breath through the panties over your clitoris. The warmth of his breath and the pressure of his lips on your mound through the panties is wonderfully arousing. Then have your man hook a finger inside the leg band of your panties and have him run his finger up and down inside the leg-band of the panties on both sides without actually touching your vagina. This will have you becoming very aroused and getting wet. After a few minutes of him doing this, then you can let him slide his hand inside your panties. It is not only arousing but brings back those memories of heavy petting in high school or maybe even junior high for some of you. After an extended session of this, then have him pull your panties off very slowly. The slow removal of panties is very erotic and sensual. If you really want to turn it up a notch and get passionate, have him literally rip your panties off by hooking his hand in the waistband and with one very strong yank, literally rip them off of you. What you lose by the panties being ruined, you gain in tremendous arousal. Every partner that I have ever done this with has gotten incredibly turned on because of the fear and the excitement that the act engenders in them. Most women like to be taken forcefully sometimes by a strong confident man.

6. Vaginal Penetration with the Tongue. Most men naturally go for your clitty (author’s slang term for clitoris. It sounds much cuter and not so damned clinical). Instead ask him to run his tongue up and down between your vaginal lips and then have him penetrate your vagina repeatedly with his tongue. You will find this incredibly arousing and better prepares your clitty for stimulation with his tongue.

7. Clitty Stimulation Techniques Instead of licking your clitty right away, have him gently pull back the foreskin (yes the hood over your clitty is analogous to a man’s foreskin on an uncircumcised penis.) He then can suck on your clitty like he is sucking a milkshake though a straw. This will cause your clitty to swell from engorging with blood similar to a man getting an erection. It will actually lengthen and grow in circumference similar to a man’s erection. He then can move up and down like you do giving him a blow job. It is a clitty blow job and feels wonderful. After a few minutes of that he can use what I call the “machine gun tongue”. This is a super fast stroking of your clitty with his tongue that will give you powerful orgasms. The way to do that is to have him flex his tongue against his upper lip to use as a spring and forcefully flick his tongue past that upper lip onto your clitty. This enables him to move his tongue much faster simulating a vibrator. For even more stimulation, have him growl like a bear while he is doing this. The act of growling makes his vocal cords vibrate which will then transmit those vibrations through his tongue onto your clitty.

8. Multi-sensory Inputs As you know, most women are better at multi-tasking than are men. Lovemaking is one area where you would benefit by encouraging your man to multi-task. While he is licking and sucking on your clitty, he can be penetrating your vagina with his fingers in and out with one hand and rolling your nipple around in his fingers with the other hand. The additional stimuli you will find very arousing. There is a precedent for this. Phil Spectre pioneered what he called the “Wall of Sound”. This technique involved adding multiple tracks of sound for a lusher musical auditory experience. Chefs use what they call “Adding layers of Flavor”. The point is, the multi-sensory inputs mean better pleasure for you just like in cooking and music.

9. Anal Stimulation Many people view this as a taboo. That is too bad because there are incredible pleasure nerve endings in the anus. This is of course when you want to be squeaky clean maybe just after a romantic shower for two. If you want to be absolutely antiseptic (which is not necessary, I have never gotten sick from giving a partner a “rim job”) you can take an antiseptic baby wipe and wrap it around a finger and clean the inside of the anus. At any rate have your man lick the anus and then penetrate your anus with his tongue in and out. Have him spread your butt cheeks apart so that he can enter it even deeper with his tongue. Once you get past the idea and let yourself go (and him too) you will find that it is incredibly arousing. Be willing to do it to your guy as it is very pleasurable for us as well. In another article I will explain how to have anal sex and that you can actually climax with anal sex. This article is about foreplay not actual intercourse.

10. Stroking your vagina with his penis. Before your man enters you for intercourse, have him take by now his erect penis and stroke it between your vaginal lips and on your clitty. Have him tease the entrance of your vagina with it. This will cause you to get exceedingly wet and your vagina can actually ache from the desire to be penetrated. Believe me two or three minutes of this kind of stimulation will have you literally begging him to take you and enter you. That will of course be a huge turn on and compliment for him.

AFTERPLAY TECHNIQUES

Now I know that the idea of after play to you seems unlikely.
You feel that you don’t get enough foreplay and usually once a man

Climaxes, then it is usually all over. Tell your man that you still
Have climaxes left in you and you would like him to get you off
some more. Tell him how horny he makes you and that you
want more of him. This is usually enough to persuade him.

11. Getting additional Orgasms Most men do not understand
That once he has you to this level of sexual excitement, it is a lot easier for you to achieve additional orgasms. Here is how you can easily knock off another ten orgasms. Get a Hitachi Magic Wand Vibrator. You have to order it on-line. It is the most intense, most powerful vibrator out there. You turn it on high and place it at your clitty. You have your man rhythmically finger you with his thumb, (a thumb is a lot bigger and close to the size of your man’s erect penis in girth) while also sucking on your nipples at the same time. The combination of the multiple sensory inputs will easily and powerfully give you additionally orgasms. This might so turn your man on that he gets another erection for another go round. Be sure and be very complimentary to him for taking such good care of you and you love how he makes you come with multiple orgasms. Positive reinforcement does wonders to encourage your guy to do it for you on a regular basis.

12. Once you are both satisfied, have him go into the bathroom an
And get a large towel and have him soak it in very hot water. Then have him wring it out very well and have him give you a hot towel massage. Have him pay careful attention to cleaning up between your legs. You will feel wonderfully pampered and be sure to ooh and aah. Then have him get a dry towel and dry you off and then have him powder your whole body down with your favorite powder. Then have him climb back in bed with you for cuddling time and spooning. You should put on a pair of silky panties, (not thongs) for spooning because the feeling of his penis against your butt covered by silky panties feels very erotic to him. The silkiness of the back of your panties reminds him of the wonderful feeling of the silky interior of your wet vagina. Have him lovingly stroke your butt through those panties. You will love the feeling of his hand stroking your butt and he will love the feeling of those silky panties against his penis and against his hand. If you include all of these techniques, I guarantee you happier and more satisfied sex.


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