Here Are Some Great Survival Tips for Dating After Divorce For Men

February 19, 2012

Dating After Divorce Tips for Men

If you’re a man who has recently found himself sans wedding ring due to the legal termination of a marriage, you might be toying with the idea of dating again. But anyone (even you tough guys) who has been through a divorce knows that putting the goods back out on the market can be difficult and even a little intimidating. So before you do, be sure to check out the following tips to make the leap into the dating pool a successful swim that won’t leave you gasping for air and in need of CPR:

Take the time to get over it. Sure, you might think that the best way to heal an old wound is with a new band aid; but if you start dating new women before your divorce is even finalized, you could be setting yourself up for yet another serious disaster. When you get into a new relationship too soon, there is the threat of infecting your new relationship with issues from your past. So take the time you need to get over your marriage and focus on yourself for a little while in order to be the best you for the next lucky lady who strolls into your life.

Focus on the positives. Anyone who has been through the debilitating agony of a divorce knows that it has a way of completely tearing you down to a point where you feel like you can’t go on another day. Of course you’ve been through hell and there are bound to be times like this; but it is important to try and stay positive—especially when you are dating again. No new woman wants to sit there as you cry and complain about that gold-digging, two-timing ex-wife of yours who left you in financial and emotional ruins. Instead, talk about the parts of life that you enjoy, keep things light and do your best to let your positivity shine through—there is nothing more attractive to a woman than that.

Don’t compare. The whole point of dating is to explore what all is out there, right? So if you’re dating someone new and all you can think about is how she stacks up to the likes of your ex-wife, don’t expect for the new relationship to pan out successfully. The “ex” prefaces the word “wife” for a reason. Instead of judging the new lady in your life and writing her off just because she doesn’t cook your grilled cheese sandwiches just the way the former Mrs. did, embrace the opportunity you have to get to know someone new and accept them who they are—you never know, she just might be able to heat things up in the kitchen better than your ex used to!

Learn from your mistakes. When you reflect back on your marriage, there are sure to be some things that you wish you could change. And while you shouldn’t harp on the mistakes you made and focus only on what might have been with your ex-wife, you should however think about what you can do to make sure that you don’t fall into the same bad habits in your new relationship. Rather than living in the past, try to look at it as a learning experience to grow from and move on to a brighter, happier future.

One of the key things is learning to have peaceful conflict resolution without hurting your girlfriend or new wife. Here is a link to a great article to help you to do that. Peaceful conflict resolution is mandatory if you expect your new relationship to work.

Another thing is that too many of you guys are still stuck in that old adolescent sexuality of wham bam thank you maam. You need to do it much better. Here is a link to make you into a hero in the bedroom. Believe me, women talk about your sexual performance. If you follow these sex tips, you will be better than 95% of the guys out there and the best that your woman has ever had and she will be much more accomodating of your sexual needs. Thank me later.

And finally, most likely you will be dating women with kids and you need to learn how to deal with step kids. You must understand that they will not welcome you into the family. These kids are still grieving the loss of their parents as a family. They will do anything in their power to break you up and often succeed.

You need to have a meeting of the minds with your new woman and provide a united front to the kids both hers and yours.
One of the most common techniques in their little demon arsenal is saying: “you can’t tell me what to do, you are not my dad” or mom. The answer is simple. You say and get your woman to say as well, no I am not your dad, but I am a parent in this house and you have to do what I say because I am an adult charged with your care while you are over hear as well as your mom.

It would be a great idea to have a meeting with the kids and explain to them that you and your woman will not put up with these kinds of battles but they can have their say as long as it is respectful and then go over the rules of peaceful conflict resolution with them as well. If they break the rules there must be consequences to that. Have a family meeting with you and the woman and the kids and decide among yourselves what those consequences are. This will go a long way to insuring more domestic tranquility and preserving the relationship. Why don’t you email us with your tips on how to do it better.

Sabrina Jackson is a guest post author who shares her advice to men for dating post-divorce. In addition, Sabrina also contributes articles to Best Dating Sites where she provides information about safe dating on the web.

Get Her To Have Sex With You 8 Times This Week and Like It

October 31, 2011

If there’s one thing men and women both want, it’s more sex. It’s no surprise: Most of us put sex low on our list of priorities, far below work, sleep, taking care of the kids, and sometimes, we admit, watching the game.

And while all of those are important things, so is sex: Getting it on burns calories; reduces your risk of prostate cancer; and releases endorphins, which improves your mood and helps you relax. Perhaps best of all, doing the deed strengthens your relationship—and that leads to more sex.

So how do you go from getting some to getting (much) more? The trick is to change up your daily approach. Try these ideas this week. They’ll spark your own ideas for what to do next week, and the week after.

Monday: Anti-Stress Sex

The first day of the week has her tension-levels skyrocketing. Ease her into sex by waiting until an hour after dinner, when she’s had time to unwind. Begin rubbing her temples, neck, and shoulders until you see them drop, and the tension fall out of her face. (That telltale line between her eyebrows will disappear.) Then let your hands slide down to her quads, and rub her thighs until they relax completely. At this point, she’ll no doubt welcome your fingers on her clitoris.

Tuesday: Before-Dinner Quickie

Lean in for a long, wet, romantic kiss before you both have bellies full of food. Let the make-out session linger on (and on and on . . . ) as you press her back up against the kitchen cabinets. When she melts in your arms, push her skirt up and lift her up onto the counter.

Wednesday: The Dry Hump

Get over Hump Day by rediscovering the joys of dry humping. This is perfect for that moment when the DVD ends and you’re both lying on the couch. Roll on top of her, and target her neck and collarbone with your mouth while slowly grinding your crotch against hers. Increase the pressure until she’s worked up and is reaching for your zipper.
Editors Note. For really sensual dry humping get her down to her panties and rub your penis
against them for a silky smooth experience that is guaranteed to make those panties wet and your dick hard. For a real thrill for her, hook your hand inside the waistband of those panties and with one forceful rip, literally rip off her panties. Women love a little rough sex by a strong self confident man. It will simultaneously scare her a little and get her aroused.

Thursday: Lazy Sex

Wait until you’re curled up in bed to spoon her. Run your hand languidly along the side of her torso, hips, and thigh several times before letting your fingers wander between her legs. When her breathing deepens and she starts to sigh, slide in from behind and proceed with minimal energy or fuss.

Friday: Post-Going Out Sex

Don’t wait to get settled. Start kissing at the door, unbutton her blouse in the hallway, then lay her down on the living room carpet. Don’t be shy about getting a little aggressive.

Saturday: Shower Sex

Head out on a bike or run in the hot afternoon sun so that a shower is a must when you get back home. Soap her up, wash her hair, and run your hands all over her body to help rinse off the suds. When you both step out of the tub, instead of handing her a towel, get down on your knees and put your tongue to work on her fresh, clean body.

Sunday: Morning Sex, Times 2

Spend a half day in bed—but not the way you did as a kid. After you’ve slipped out of the sack to brush your teeth and grab a glass of water, climb back in and coax her into a sleepy a.m. romp. Afterward, use pillow talk and cuddling to keep her between the sheets until you feel something stirring again.

Let your second go-round be about exploration. Look and touch every inch of her. Kiss places you’ve neglected for months. This one isn’t about reaching your peak or hers, it’s about savoring every sensation.

Read more:

How To Be a Hero In The Bedroom For Men, Great Sex Techniques Explained

October 29, 2011

Sexual Foreplay and After Play, Be a Hero In The Bedroom

As a marriage, relationship, and sexual coach, I can’t believe how much lousy sex is happening out there. Maybe you are experiencing less than great sex with the man in your life or past men in your life. As a man speaking in defense of men, there is really no place for men to learn how to give our partners great sex. There is no SCHOOL FOR SEX out there. We all know where the body parts go, but men for the most part do not adequately understand a woman’s sexuality and how to give you fantastic sex. It is for this reason that I am writing this article. If you share this article with the man that you care about and tell him that you would really like to experience these things and ask him to do them with you, I promise, you will have better more enjoyable sex.

In conversations with women, I have come to understand that you need a transition period from the rat race to moving towards making love with your man. Most of you don’t have an “instant on” like men.

1. Brushing Hair Now I realize that for most of you, you are not necessarily going to get sexually aroused from having your hair brushed. What it does however is to give you that transition time to move towards sexual availability. The act of having your hair brushed is very pleasurable and releases endorphins in the brain. You feel pampered and that pampered feeling then causes you to have affectionate feelings towards your man. Five to ten minutes of hair brushing is a wonderful way to decompress from the daily grind. Animals instinctively groom each other and is something that we should do more. Your life will be better with more tactile stimulation.

2. Head to Toe Massage This technique has worked for me with every partner that I have ever been with. It is so effective as an arousal technique that I had an ex wife who would not make love with me unless I gave her a massage first. I start by stoking and lightly scratching a woman’s scalp with my fingernails. I then proceed from her neck all the way down to her feet. I spend more time massaging a woman’s butt like I am kneading bread. You have nerve endings in your butt that you did not even know that you have. I have never failed getting a woman wet from massaging her butt. I go on down and spend time massaging her feet. There is good reason for this. All of the nerve endings in your body terminate in your feet. By massaging the feet, you stimulate and wake up all of the nerves in a woman’s body. It prepares the rest of her body to be stimulated and aroused.

3. Let Your Man Undress You But Stop Him at Bra and Panties. (Author’s aside: So many of you out there are wearing utilitarian underwear, white nylon panties with no lace and a functional bra. Men get turned on visually, make sure that you have lacy and frilly bras and panties. Would you want a present that was not nicely wrapped or a cake with no frosting on it? Men need to see you in lacy and frilly lingerie.) The logic behind the man undressing you and having you stop him at bra and panties is to slow him down. The act of undressing you is a turn on for both of you as well. I tell my clients sex feels good, why rush it. Far too many men treat lovemaking like they do masturbation, they want to get it over in a hurry. Once you are down to bra and panties, have him continue a different variation of massage by lightly and slowly running fingertips up and down your entire body on both sides. This is incredibly arousing for you.

4. Lightly Stroke Nipples Through The Bra The idea behind keeping those bras and panties on and slowing down also reminds us of a bygone time in high school where we were furtively fondling. It adds to the excitement. Having your man lightly stroking your nipples through the bra gets them erect. Then let him slide his hand inside the cup of the bra before you allow him to remove your bra, all the while kissing you. Then he can remove the bra and proceed to more vigorous stimulation of your breasts and nipples by sucking them hard and fondling your breasts.

5. Stimulate you and stroke you through your panties Have him lightly stoke the midline of your vagina back and forth through your panties. Then have him blow hot breath through the panties over your clitoris. The warmth of his breath and the pressure of his lips on your mound through the panties is wonderfully arousing. Then have your man hook a finger inside the leg band of your panties and have him run his finger up and down inside the leg-band of the panties on both sides without actually touching your vagina. This will have you becoming very aroused and getting wet. After a few minutes of him doing this, then you can let him slide his hand inside your panties. It is not only arousing but brings back those memories of heavy petting in high school or maybe even junior high for some of you. After an extended session of this, then have him pull your panties off very slowly. The slow removal of panties is very erotic and sensual. If you really want to turn it up a notch and get passionate, have him literally rip your panties off by hooking his hand in the waistband and with one very strong yank, literally rip them off of you. What you lose by the panties being ruined, you gain in tremendous arousal. Every partner that I have ever done this with has gotten incredibly turned on because of the fear and the excitement that the act engenders in them. Most women like to be taken forcefully sometimes by a strong confident man.

6. Vaginal Penetration with the Tongue. Most men naturally go for your clitty (author’s slang term for clitoris. It sounds much cuter and not so damned clinical). Instead ask him to run his tongue up and down between your vaginal lips and then have him penetrate your vagina repeatedly with his tongue. You will find this incredibly arousing and better prepares your clitty for stimulation with his tongue.

7. Clitty Stimulation Techniques Instead of licking your clitty right away, have him gently pull back the foreskin (yes the hood over your clitty is analogous to a man’s foreskin on an uncircumcised penis.) He then can suck on your clitty like he is sucking a milkshake though a straw. This will cause your clitty to swell from engorging with blood similar to a man getting an erection. It will actually lengthen and grow in circumference similar to a man’s erection. He then can move up and down like you do giving him a blow job. It is a clitty blow job and feels wonderful. After a few minutes of that he can use what I call the “machine gun tongue”. This is a super fast stroking of your clitty with his tongue that will give you powerful orgasms. The way to do that is to have him flex his tongue against his upper lip to use as a spring and forcefully flick his tongue past that upper lip onto your clitty. This enables him to move his tongue much faster simulating a vibrator. For even more stimulation, have him growl like a bear while he is doing this. The act of growling makes his vocal cords vibrate which will then transmit those vibrations through his tongue onto your clitty.

8. Multi-sensory Inputs As you know, most women are better at multi-tasking than are men. Lovemaking is one area where you would benefit by encouraging your man to multi-task. While he is licking and sucking on your clitty, he can be penetrating your vagina with his fingers in and out with one hand and rolling your nipple around in his fingers with the other hand. The additional stimuli you will find very arousing. There is a precedent for this. Phil Spectre pioneered what he called the “Wall of Sound”. This technique involved adding multiple tracks of sound for a lusher musical auditory experience. Chefs use what they call “Adding layers of Flavor”. The point is, the multi-sensory inputs mean better pleasure for you just like in cooking and music.

9. Anal Stimulation Many people view this as a taboo. That is too bad because there are incredible pleasure nerve endings in the anus. This is of course when you want to be squeaky clean maybe just after a romantic shower for two. If you want to be absolutely antiseptic (which is not necessary, I have never gotten sick from giving a partner a “rim job”) you can take an antiseptic baby wipe and wrap it around a finger and clean the inside of the anus. At any rate have your man lick the anus and then penetrate your anus with his tongue in and out. Have him spread your butt cheeks apart so that he can enter it even deeper with his tongue. Once you get past the idea and let yourself go (and him too) you will find that it is incredibly arousing. Be willing to do it to your guy as it is very pleasurable for us as well. In another article I will explain how to have anal sex and that you can actually climax with anal sex. This article is about foreplay not actual intercourse.

10. Stroking your vagina with his penis. Before your man enters you for intercourse, have him take by now his erect penis and stroke it between your vaginal lips and on your clitty. Have him tease the entrance of your vagina with it. This will cause you to get exceedingly wet and your vagina can actually ache from the desire to be penetrated. Believe me two or three minutes of this kind of stimulation will have you literally begging him to take you and enter you. That will of course be a huge turn on and compliment for him.


Now I know that the idea of after play to you seems unlikely.
You feel that you don’t get enough foreplay and usually once a man

Climaxes, then it is usually all over. Tell your man that you still
Have climaxes left in you and you would like him to get you off
some more. Tell him how horny he makes you and that you
want more of him. This is usually enough to persuade him.

11. Getting additional Orgasms Most men do not understand
That once he has you to this level of sexual excitement, it is a lot easier for you to achieve additional orgasms. Here is how you can easily knock off another ten orgasms. Get a Hitachi Magic Wand Vibrator. You have to order it on-line. It is the most intense, most powerful vibrator out there. You turn it on high and place it at your clitty. You have your man rhythmically finger you with his thumb, (a thumb is a lot bigger and close to the size of your man’s erect penis in girth) while also sucking on your nipples at the same time. The combination of the multiple sensory inputs will easily and powerfully give you additionally orgasms. This might so turn your man on that he gets another erection for another go round. Be sure and be very complimentary to him for taking such good care of you and you love how he makes you come with multiple orgasms. Positive reinforcement does wonders to encourage your guy to do it for you on a regular basis.

12. Once you are both satisfied, have him go into the bathroom an
And get a large towel and have him soak it in very hot water. Then have him wring it out very well and have him give you a hot towel massage. Have him pay careful attention to cleaning up between your legs. You will feel wonderfully pampered and be sure to ooh and aah. Then have him get a dry towel and dry you off and then have him powder your whole body down with your favorite powder. Then have him climb back in bed with you for cuddling time and spooning. You should put on a pair of silky panties, (not thongs) for spooning because the feeling of his penis against your butt covered by silky panties feels very erotic to him. The silkiness of the back of your panties reminds him of the wonderful feeling of the silky interior of your wet vagina. Have him lovingly stroke your butt through those panties. You will love the feeling of his hand stroking your butt and he will love the feeling of those silky panties against his penis and against his hand. If you include all of these techniques, I guarantee you happier and more satisfied sex.

More Romantic Suggestions for Men and Women

March 8, 2010

Women: If you are having a problem with your husband getting off too soon, you can combat that by taking charge once in a while and initiating the sex. Tell him that you want to play a game and tie his wrists to the headboard and that he can’t do anything that you are going to do everything. He has to be your sexual slave. You get on top of him and straddle his face and demand that he eat your pussy. In fact, do pelvic thrusts on his tongue. When he is erect, you can sit astride him and impale yourself on him. You then can control the speed of the intercourse so that he does not come too soon. In fact slow motion sex is great. This is where you give him just enough movement to maintain his erection but no so much that he gets off. You can use a vibrator on yourself to get off numerous times. Alternate positions where you also face away from him so that he can see himself buried in side of you going in and out. He will love the view. Make sure to keep the lights on so that he can get a good view. That position is the best for having a vibrator between your legs on your clitty to get off while having sex with him simultaneously. For those of you who can’t climax during sex, this is a great substitute so that you are experiencing a climax during intercourse. Using these techniques, you can keep him going for an hour or so without him getting off. You then put him out of his misery by sucking him off or riding him hard and fast, slamming your pussy down on him telling him that you want him to fill you up.

Men: You can also order your wife chocolates instead of flowers. As a bonus, consider that a present of chocolates will be less expensive than flowers and yet will be just as appreciated if not more so. In fact you need to do that on somewhat of a regular basis. We suggest that you get her a present of A Year Of Chocolate. We have a program on our web-site where you can pre-order to have a pound of chocolate delivered to her every month. Can you imagine the good-guy credits you will get with such a thoughtful present? Again, for maximum good guy credits have them delivered to her at the office in front of her girlfriends and coworkers. If you really want to be a hero, order the bigger box so that she can share a chocolate with her girlfriends. For much less than the cost of taking her out to dinner at a nice restuarant, you can romance her with something that she really wants and enjoys. Isn’t this investment worth increasing the quality and quantity of your sex life? Chocolate releases endorphins in her brain, causing her to think more sexually. In fact you can make feeding her chocolates a part of your foreplay technique. Get her into bed and then surprise her with the chocolates. You then start to feed her a few chocolates where you literally hand-feed her. You might then take the opportunity to spread some chocolate syrup on your cock and get her to lick it off. She will then be ready for some hot passionate lovemaking.

Women: Order satin sheets for your bed. It will feel good on your skin and on your man’s skin as well. It will make your lovemaking very sensual.

Men: If you really want to be a hero celebrate her birthday or your anniversary by having a limo pick you up to take you two to dinner. Make sure to go to a place that will have dancing. Slow dance with her. Slow dancing with your woman is a great foreplay technique. Hold her tight against you. She will love feeling you get hard against her, reassuring her that you still desire her sexually. Then on the way home, start kissing her passionately, feel her up and then make love with her in the limo. Don’t be in a rush, lightly stroke her face, then her boobs. Follow that up by sliding your hand gently up her skirt or dress. Follow that by stroking her outside of her panties. She will get soaking wet, then slide your hand inside her panties where you finger her and stroke her clitty. Believe it or not, this is much more common than you think. If you really want to be naughty tell the driver what you are going to do in advance and let him watch instead of having him pull the privacy panel up. There is something that is exciting and naughty about being a little exhibitionistic and letting him watch.(be sure to get your wife’s agreement on this before doing it. Tell her that she can be a real naughty girl. If she is not up for it then have the driver put up the privacy window)

Women: If you are going to be in an elevator with your husband, back up to him and rub your butt and/or hand against his dick (penis). Or you could stand behind him and to the side and grab his arm and rub your boob against the back of his arm. If you really want to be naughty, take his hand and slide it up your skirt from behind. You can stand in front of him so no one can see you, but he can feel you. You will feel very naughty and it is sure to get him excited and your panties wet.

Sexual Foreplay Techniques, Be a Hero In The Bedroom

February 8, 2010

Get “her” done. That is the modus operandi for far too many guys in the bedroom. Unfortunately, what is really means is get “it” done. Far too many of you don’t bother or worry about getting “her” done. This is because you don’t take the time to give her adequate foreplay time to achieve a maximum level of arousal. If you follow my suggestions, she will BRAG on you to all of her women friends and relatives. You will achieve a new found level of respect.

You can take my techniques and add your own. These suggestions are just designed to stir your imagination.

You have to stop just thinking about getting yourself off, and decide that you want to follow the James Bond model of manhood insofar as spoiling women and pampering them. Women want to feel loved and cherished and not just getting laid.

You can try by brushing her hair. Women love to have their hair brushed. Then progress to giving her a total body massage. Be sure to do her whole body from head to foot. Pay particular attention to her butt. She has nerve endings there that she does not even know that she has, all connected to her pussy. Also pay attention to her feet. All of her nerve endings come together in her feet.

Next, undress her SLOWLY. Let the anticipation build. She will enjoy being undressed by you. Don’t take off her bra and panties though. Leave them on. Now start kissing her and caressing her all over avoiding her breasts and pussy. Stroke her hair, caress all around the erogenous zones.

Now start lightly stroking her nipples through her bra while continuing to kiss her. Stroke your finger just inside the cup and stroke all around. Then take off the bra slowly and start licking her breasts all over and then gently start sucking on them, gradually increasing the pressure as she is comfortable. Then, start kissing down her belly and stroking her lightly with your fingertips. Kiss and stroke down her belly past her vagina and do all the way down her thighs and calves. Come back the other side all the way back to her vagina. Remember her panties are still on. Put your mouth over her vagina and blow hot breath through her panties over her clitoris. Then insert a finger inside the leg band of her panties and stroke all around without touching her pussy. It will drive her wild.

Next, insert your finger inside the leg band of her panties and pull the crotch away to the side. Start licking between her labia up an down. When you get to the top of her vagina , you give her clitoris a quick lick and go back to licking between her pussy lips. Then insert your tongue inside of her pussy. Stroke it in and out. She will be moaning and giving you encouragement at this point. You then begin licking her clitoris. Here is where you can really become a hero in the bedroom. You can gentle pull back the hood of her clitoris and directly lick the clitoris directly. You can then suck the clitoris between your lips and begin to suck on it like a woman performing fellatio on a man. The clitoris will actually become hard like a male penis and achieve an erection. You can give her an orgasm by her clitoris a blow job.

You can also use what I call the “machine gun tongue” technique. This is where you lick her clitoris with lightening fast motions to bring her to additional orgasms. You can do this by flexing your tongue against your upper lip and flick your tongue past it. By flexing your tongue against your upper you can actually flick your tongue faster for your partner’s pleasure.

Finally there is one more thing that you can do for fantastic foreplay. After having given your honey numerous orgasms, she will be begging you to take her. You can give her a real thrill. Hook your hand in the waist band of those panties and give one hard rip and literally rip her panties off. This will simultaneously scare her and excite her. Every woman has a secret rape fantasy. She does not really want to be raped but she wants to be taken forcefully and roughly by a self confident man. The key to using this fantasy, is that you want to make sure that she is highly aroused.

Go out and use this stuff. This is part of a chapter excerpt from my book. If you would like to know when it comes out, just send me an email to . If you want help with your relationship I will give you a free half hour consultation as well.

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