How To Avoid First Date Jitters for Women and Have a Great First Date

March 6, 2010

How To Avoid First Date Jitters and Have a Fantastic First Date For Women

  You say that you would just as soon stay home than go on a first date?  The problem is that the first date is the means to the end of starting a new relationship.  Here are some tips to make the first date something exciting rather than something to dread.

     First of all, it is important to get in touch with your feelings why you dread the first date.  If you are honest with yourself, you don’t feel worthy.  This is because far too many women engage in negative self talk.  If you can’t love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to love you.  You have to develop a positive self esteem.  You have to consider yourself a catch that is worthy of that date.

   You can do this by simply setting down and honestly posting your good and bad points on a piece of paper.  Almost all women can come up with more good points than bad. This means that you automatically pass.  Now you have to work on adding good points and removing your faults.  The best way to do that is to concentrate on setting goals for yourself and achieving them.  Once you achieve a goal, you will feel better about yourself.  Keep doing that and your self esteem will skyrocket.

    Now you have to realize what a guy expects from a first date.  It is a job interview.  He is looking for you to communicate in very clear language that you will always respect him and that you will always take care of his sexual needs, willingly , lovingly and enthusiastically.  You really need to communicate that message to him without actually giving him sex.  Far too many women gave up sex way too easily and too soon hoping that the guy will develop feelings and have  a relationship with you.  Men are hard wired for the chase and the pursuit.  No, you have to hold off on the sex until there is a relationship.  Most guys will wait on the sex as long as you have convinced him that it is worth the wait.

     The way that you convince him that you are a sexual woman is to exude sexuality without being slutty.  You need to dress the part.  First of all, don’t even think about wearing those deadly dull, virginal white panties with no lace or worse yet cotton panties.  Cotton panties only belong on little girls and little old ladies.   You want to be wearing a frilly lacy bra, preferably unlined and frilly lacy panties.  Now he is not going to see these things, but you need to wear them so as to feel more feminine and sexual.  Now I know that some of you are going to say, I am not going to wear that slutty stuff, falsely assuming anyone who wears them, are slutty.  Here is a good time to tell you the old Italian proverb about the 3 things that a man looks for in a wife:  A good hostess for his friends.  A good mother for his children.  And a slut in the bedroom.

    Now you want to wear a tight clingy top and a short flirty denim skirt with high heels.  You only get one chance to make a first impression and you want to knock his socks off.

This is an impression that he won’t be able to get out of his mind.  I suggest that you  “accidentally on purpose” give him a flash of those sexy panties.  You also need to rethink your position on sexuality.  When the sex actually starts, you want to get over those ”little girl” inhibitions over things that you won’t do for a man in bed.  The last thing that you want him to feel the first time that he makes love with you is how much better his previous girlfriend was in bed than you.  You want to give him the best sex that he has ever had in his life, if you want this relationship to last.

    Now that you are facing the first date, and you have all of your tools at hand, there is one last final tip.  Take control of the conversation without him even realizing that you have.  This is much easier than you think.  Just keep asking him questions about himself.  Ask him what his hopes and dreams are, what are his interests and passions. Ask him where he would like to be in 5 years?  Ask him what his idea of a perfect woman is for a relationship.  Say, if God said that you could design your perfect woman, what would she look like so I could go out and find her for you, what would she look and act and think like?  In this way, you get tons of information about him and he does not even realize that you are nervous.  A couple of these first dates and you wiil be an old pro and will actually be excited for the first date instead of dreading it.  Good luck.  I can be reached at or on my blog at for additional help.

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