I happened to visit Emily Nagoseki’s sex nerd blog where she had a post about stopping sexual assault of women. I had suggested that women need to use good sense and avoid situations where she could get sexually assaulted. That idea was shot down by a couple of women that suggested that I was blaming the victim, that no woman should be raped and their answer was to teach men not to rape.
I believe that it naïve, we have predators in our country who know rape is wrong and still they do it anyway. The argument was weak and naïve and fool hardy when it comes to women’s safety.
One woman countered that she was a little girl and her own father raped her repeatedly. I admitted that there was no way that she could have protected herself in that situation. It got me to thinking. I was recently involved in a very long and detailed discussion with my blogging buddy kdaddy23. We compared and contrasted notes about incest in general and our personal knowledge of it and incest in the black and the white communities. We admitted that there was way too much incest going on in general.
The answer is for families to support girls in coming forward and pressing charges. Too many family members take the good old boy mentality and discourage girls from coming forward and pressing charges because the bastard relative would go to prison and surely she did not want to be responsible for him going to jail. Incredible pressure is put on girls to keep the secret, that their rights are second rate and should be subjugated to the that of the adults.
I coached a young woman whose father sexually abused her and raped her every night from the time that she was 5 until she was 17. The mother knew about it and did nothing to stop it. Apparently she was glad that she did not have to put out and figured it was better her daughter than her. I urged her to confront her mother which she did after her father died. The mother of course denied it to the family but hung herself in the garage two days later. I say good riddance to the mother. Sadly, the young woman cut off contact with me afterwards, I am sure because of her guilt which is not well founded.
Relatives who rape relatives should be doubly prosecuted because they violated the trust of a child who they were supposed to be protecting. So women, if you really want to stop rape, start pressing charges against family members. Don’t let them supercede your rights.