Marriage Is About Sharing, Share This Funny Post With Someone You Love

June 5, 2012

Thanks to Dennis one of my readers for sharing this humorous story. Enjoy and blessings on you and yours. John Wilder

A little some thing to lighten your day.

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a 
drink. 

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one 
half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two 
piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. 

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down 
between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people 
around them were looking over and whispering. 

Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple – all they can afford is 
one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and 
politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, 
they were just fine – they were used to sharing everything. 

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. 
She 
sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping 
the drink.. 

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy 
another meal for them. This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you, we 
are used to sharing everything.’

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the 
napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet 
to eat a single bite of food and asked ‘What is it you are waiting for?’ 

She answered

‘THE TEETH.’


Another Great Guest Post, Just Say No to Perfection in Marriage

July 24, 2010

Life Gems is a great post that I subscribe to that I recommend to you.
Here is the link to her blog: marriahttp://us.mc1128.mail.yahoo.com/mc/welcome?.gx=1&.tm=1279937461&.rand=bhi

Posted: 22 Jul 2010 06:31 AM PDT

I read lots of marriage books and blogs, and I get rather annoyed with all the talk of how to achieve the perfect relationship, the extraordinary marriage, which shall be the zenith of your human existence, at which point everyday annoyances will dissolve into the mist, and the “happily ever after” credits will scroll by.

Instead, I rather relate to the following quote:

Forget about having perfect relationships. Let’s help couples have “good enough” relationships. ~John & Julie Gottman

My thought is that each year—each hour really—we will have moments of connection and moments of disconnect. If we’re still working on learning to love and be loved, that’s great. That’s progress. But it doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes clash (after all, we are very different people) or disagree (naturally we have separate thoughts and opinions). It just means we choose to stay married and to keep trying to improve. We need to work to stay connected, and to reconnect when we’re drifting apart.

While I sometimes bring lessons learned from my marriage to the table, I don’t think it’s appropriate (or really that interesting, frankly) to share the details of my marital failings. But we have them, just like everyone else. Sometimes I get angry or impatient or think unloving thoughts about the love of my life. As I write this, my very handy hubby is hammering at 10 p.m. while the kids try to sleep, but I’ve learned to live with his eagerness to complete projects over the years (and the kids have learned to sleep through noise). I’m sure I give him plenty to get frustrated about, although I can’t imagine what could be difficult about little ol’ sensitive me!

Despite our failings, we take a long-term view. And after 15 years, I think we’ve gotten to know one another better and learned some about forgiveness and about retaining a sense of humor. Sometimes I think it goes without saying that we are imperfect people who believe in the great tradition of marriage. But in the interest of disclosure, I’ll just come right out and say so. I want to be a positive voice for marriage, to learn more about how to love and be loved within a marriage union, and to share what I learn.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have high standards for ourselves and for others. I am saying we shouldn’t expect perfection. Whether you are having a great day in your relationship or a “good enough” day, don’t compare yourself to what you think is going on in someone else’s marriage. Let good enough be good enough for today. (But work for something better.) Maybe tomorrow will be the day to have curl-your-toes sex.

Do you sometimes struggle for perfection in your relationship, only to be disappointed? Or do you think having the highest standards elevates your expectations and ultimately delivers better outcomes?


I Wish I Had Known This Before I Got Married

May 18, 2010

This is another guest blogger that I have featured on here before.  She has a lot of good sense and I suggest that you subscribe to her blog  about marriage relationships

Project Happily Ever After

 

What I Wish I Had Known Before I MarriedPosted: 16 May 2010 07:28 PM PDT

  1. It’s pointless to compare your marriage or sex life to others because there is no such thing as one ideal marriage or sex life.
  2. It doesn’t matter if you are a feminist who sought out an egalitarian man to marry. Chances are you will eventually come to the conclusion that you do most of the housework. For a while this will anger you. Eventually you’ll either reach a place of acceptance or you’ll have the means to hire a cleaning lady.
  3. There is nothing instinctual about birthing or raising a child.
  4. Babies stress good marriages and bring bad marriages to an end.
  5. Your husband won’t love you any less if you speak your mind. If anything, he’ll be relieved to finally know what you’re thinking without having to guess.
  6. Fair and happy are not necessarily the same thing. When you have a choice between the two, shoot for happy.
  7. Men snore more when they drink and when they have a cold. It’s best to sleep in the guest room on such occasions. You’ll actually get some sleep and he won’t wake with a sore arm.
  8. He loves when you ask for help. It makes him feel like a man.
  9. Lingerie isn’t for him. It’s for you.
  10. Bikini waxes aren’t for him. They’re for you.
  11. You are your own harshest critic. Whether or not you gain or lose those 10 pounds, he will always think you look as hot as the day he met you.
  12. He doesn’t talk down to you because he thinks you’re stupid. He does it because someone talked down to him as a child and now he’s modeling this behavior.
  13. Happiness comes from being understood, not from winning.
  14. If you wash his cycling clothes with your clothes, your clothes will smell like a teenage boy who hasn’t showered in three weeks.
  15. If you let him wash your delicates, he will put them all in the dryer. He will not do this out of spite. Rather, he will do it because none of his clothes require a gentle cycle and to be hung dry.
  16. If he doesn’t notice you got your hair cut, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
  17. He shuts down when you confront him not because he enjoys annoying you. He does it because he’s scared.
  18. He loves it when you compliment him.
  19. He has always loved you, and he always will.

What do you wish you’d known before you got married?

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Project Happily Ever After: Relationship Rules Download your copy of Project Happily Ever After: Relationship Rules.

In this free e-book, you’ll learn some of the strategies I used to turn my Mr. Good for Nothing into my Mr. Good for Something, including ten Relationship Rules.


Sexual Attitudes And Techniques For Women, Or the Care and Feeding of Your Man

April 23, 2010

                 Sexual Attitudes and Techniques for Women  This is another chapter from my book.  I need your feedback and comments.  This a rough draft chapter.  The book is going to be enttitled;  SEX EDUCATION FOR ADULTS, SECRETS TO AMAZING SEX AND HAPPILY EVER AFTER TOO.

 

     The number one thing that you need to consider is the fact that between the church, your parents and feminists, your thinking about sex likely has been vastly and inappropriately distorted.  I am going to implore you to re-think your whole attitude about your sexuality. Largely because of these attitudes, sex is one of the “big three” that couples fight about.  It is also a big reason for divorce.  According to a research psychologist, Judith Wallerstein, divorce profoundly negatively impacts and damages children for life.  Will you open your mind to re-thinking your sex life?  The famed playwright, Thornton Wilder (no relation) had a famous line in the play:  Our Town that stated that:  “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.”  This is largely due to their profound dissatisfaction with their lives in general and their wives specifically.  They are profoundly unfulfilled.  That is a sad indictment on you women.

           What women tend to forget is that you promised in your marriage vows that you agreed that your husband has the right to have (to have sex with) and to hold (for comfort and emotional support).  What most women don’t realize is, that unfaithful is not only having sex with someone outside the marriage; but it is also the act of not being able to be counted on to satisfy a partner’s sexual needs //

1.  
not faithful; false to duty, obligation, or promises; faithless; disloyal.

 

2.  
 

 

      Research studies indicate that over 60% of you women out there have your husbands on a starvation diet of sex once a week or less.

     Men get their affectional needs satisfied through sex.  Let me ask you a question.  If your children came to you for a hug, would you turn them down the way that you turn down your husband for sex? This is of course a rhetorical question.  This is clear gender bias and prejudice.  If you give your children more hugs than you give your husband sex, you are clearly discriminating against him.  Dr. Phil says that if you are a mother first and wife second, you are killing your marriage.  He claims that you likely won’t be married by the time the kids leave home.  Your first obligation is to keep the home together.  You do that by being a good wife and being a wife first and a mother second.

         You also are likely the women who buy the boring, white non-lacy bras and white nylon panties with no lace or worse yet, cotton panties.  Cotton panties only belong on little girls or very old grandmas.  Cotton panties worn by a married woman is an egregious sin of denial for your husband.

     Sadly because of the negative impact on women by the churches and the parents, I hear so many women state about wearing lacy lingerie:  “I am not wearing that slutty stuff!”  Women reason incorrectly to themselves that they are not sluts and only slutty women wear lacy lingerie.  Men are visually stimulated.  Your husband is the one who sees you in your bras, panties and nighties.  It would be appropriate here to quote that old Italian proverb that has been handed down for generations:  “What a man wants in a wife is: a good mother for his children, a good hostess for his friends and a slut in the bedroom”.  I am here to tell you that most of the problems that you have in your marriage would go away if you embraced that philosophy and fully embraced your sexuality.

                                       Sidebar on thong panties

    Now I know that some of you women are wearing thong panties which you consider sexy and perhaps even your husband considers them sexyFor those of you who wear thong panties, you have been pressured by the peer pressure of your girlfriends in not showing panty lines.  The irony is that most of you claim not  to want to show visible panty lines and yet end up showing visible panties.  Invariably under slacks, the panties ride up in back and showMen love panty lines.  You same women who claim not to want to show visible panty lines don’t make the same distinction about visible bra lines.  There are very few clothes that you wear that don’t show bra lines.  If visible panty lines are bad, why aren’t visible bra lines?  Think about it, does it make sense when you consider bras?  Of course not.

                           

                                  The Case Against Thongs

     When we were kids, one of the common pranks that we played is giving each other wedgies.  I can’t for the life of me understand why women would want to walk around with a permanent wedgie.  Then there is the whole sanitation issue that I don’t need to delve into here.

     The biggest single reason for wearing full backed bikinis is that the back is usually satin backed.  This is a wonderful thing for the man in your life for a number of reasons.  When he rubs your butt through those silky backed panties, he is reminded of how silky your well lubricated pussy (vagina) feels to him.  It is arousing for him and because it is, he will spend more time rubbing your butt.  Believe me, there are erotic nerve endings in your butt that you did not even know that you had.  They become aroused when your husband rubs your butt cheeks. Believe me, you will enjoy him rubbing your butt.  If for no other reason, you should abandon thongs because your husband will spend more time rubbing your butt cheeks if they are covered in silky satin.  This also does not discount how silky and wonderful those silky panties feel on your own butt that you don’t experience with thongs.  There is another reason:  Your husband can become highly aroused rubbing his dick (penis) against that silky material.  You can become aroused feeling him becoming erect as he rubs his dick against those silky panties.  Women, try it and see if your husband does not prefer bikinis rather than thongs.  Trust me, men from the time that they were little boys have had a fascination with women’s panties.  Give him what he wants.

    

     So many of you women who are mothers state that you won’t wear lacy nighties because your kids might come in and see you in it. If your kids saw you in a sexy nightie, it would not cause them harm.  The fact that you won’t wear sexy nighties for your husband definitely diminishes the quality of life in  your marriage. The easy answer is to lock your door when you are sleeping.  If your kids need you, they can knock on the door. It is imperative to teach your children respect for yours and your husband’s privacy.  They should not be allowed to just walk into your bedroom at will. You then can get up and put a robe on and cover up.  This would be a good time to add some humor to this dialogue.  Here is a little joke to tickle your funny bone: “There was a man who came to the door of a housewife and told her that he was taking a poll.  He asked her if she would be willing to take a poll in which there would be sensitive private issues discussed.  The woman who was somewhat bored agreed to the poll.  The poll taker asked her if she and her husband ever used Vaseline for sexual purposes, to which the wife said:  “oh sure.”  The poll taker asked her if she would mind explaining in what way that they used it for sexual purposes.  She said:  “Sure, we smear it on the door knob to keep the kids out of the bedroom”.  Install a lock on your bedroom door.

  Many of you incorrectly believe that lacy nighties are reserved only for sex.  That puts way too much pressure on you.  What you should be doing is wearing a lacy nightie every night.  Men have lust of the eye and lust of the flesh.  They want and need you to be visually pleasing to them.  Imagine how your husband would feel if the last thing he saw at night is you in some lacy nightie and the first thing that he awakens too and sees is you in that lacy nightie. Don’t you think that if you did that, he would feel loved and fulfilled?  Can you see how this would fit into his notion of “happily ever after” that you long for.  Don’t you think that he would like happily ever for himself as well? Women are around him all day and he sees them in short skirts, and sexy clothing.  How smart is it on your part that you wearing boring bras, panties and nighties.  You leave him visually starved and then have him see other women who don’t have your inhibitions in the work place and in public.  It is not good for him or the relationship.  You are not helping your husband to “live happily ever after”.

     Women, think about it like this, giving your husband sex willingly and lovingly is the best present that you can give to him.  Now ask yourself this question:  If you are going to get a present, would you want it to have beautiful wrapping paper and ribbon or would you be happy if they gave it to you in a rumpled old grocery sack?  That of course is a rhetorical question.  Why then would you want to give your husband something in a cotton flannel nightgown or an old t-shirt or whatever non-sexual garb you wear to bed?  I can tell you from a man’s point of view, that when you subject him to your non—sexy garb to bed, in his mind he is thinking: YUCK!  Is that the way that you want  your husband thinking about you.  He may not be saying it but he is thinking it.

 

    Now I know that from the time that you were born, you have fantasized about “Living Happily Ever After!”  Sadly whether you realize it or not, it has been a largely self centered fantasy.  That “knight in shining armor” you fantasized about was about him worshipping you and sweeping you off your feet.  Most of you from my coaching experience think little about happily ever after for the husband.  You don’t think about what would make him happy.  You impose your values on him about sex and lingerie. If you truly had that knight in shining armour, would you want him to see you in boring nightgowns or plain bra and panties? No one would support you being forced to do something against your will.  Yet you have no problem forcing things on your husband against his will.  Love means taking care of his needs as well.  That is part of his happily ever after that he is not getting with the majority of you.

     Women get a whole lot more positive affirmation than men do.  Let us look backwards at your life.  From the time that you were born, there were way more clothes for you that got you positive attention.  The little dresses, lacy panties, and patent leather shoes.  You got held more and hugged more as a little girl than boys did.  When you got to high school, you got a lot of attention for your looks.  You got all of the attention at prom time because of the dress hair and make-up.  You were totally the center of attention at the wedding.  The man was just window dressing.  When you got pregnant, all of the attention was focused on you as the new expectant mother.  The poor man was just the sperm donor and again window dressing.  Men depend upon you to get positive affirmations because they don’t get it like you have in your life.  Sadly, the feminists are even taking that away from them.  Think about it in how men are portrayed in commercials today.  They are portrayed as clueless and bumbling idiots.  The heroic woman swoops in to save the day.  Or she is there to make caustic and sarcastic remarks about how he has screwed up yet again.  According to Dr. Harley in his book:  His Needs, Her Needs,  what men need from you even more than sex is respect.  Men don’t get much respect in society today.  Sadly they don’t get much respect from you in their own homes.  Worse yet, many of you are teaching your children not to respect their fathers either.  All of this negatively impacts your sex life and your relationship with your husband.  I needed to talk to you about attitudes that you carry into the bedroom before I talk to you about how to make love to your husband in the bedroom.

     Now I know that most of you want to be taken by a strong self confident man who knows what he is doing in the bedroom.  If you read my opening chapter for men in how to make love to you, I told them how to do that.  For most of you though, you don’t take enough responsibility for being a good sexual partner to your husband.  Too may women have the attitude that sex is something that your husbands do to you instead of with you. Your husband wants you to give him sex willingly and lovingly.  When you do this, it is called Making Love.  This is because there is bond created between a man and a woman when she willingly and lovingly gives him sex.  What do you think your man would call it when you refuse his sexual overtures?   I can tell you that it is Making Resentment.  Every time you force him to masturbate because you won’t take care of his sexual needs, he feels resentment towards you.  Now I know that many of you see his sexuality through the prism of your own  sexuality.  You think that he does not really need it but he is just being selfish and demanding.  You could not be more wrong.  That attitude hurts your marriage.

     For those of you who have had children, remember how much you had to pee when you were pregnant.  It was not your fault.  That baby pressed against your bladder.  Peeing was not an option, but a very real necessity.  While your husband’s sexual drive is very similar.  The semen build-up causes him to feel uncomfortably full.  For him, getting relief is not an option either.  He would much rather have you give him relief.

     Let us do a little role play and do some role reversal for illustration purposes.  Let us go back to the time when you were pregnant and pretend that you are on a long road trip in the car with your husband.  Now pretend that you are asking him yet again to stop the car so that you could pee(urinate).  Now let us pretend that he talks to you like so many women talk to their husbands about sexual relief.  You ask him to stop to which he makes these kinds of comments:  “What, you have to pee again, is that all you ever think about?  What are you, some kind of peeing pervert?  I don’t feel like stopping, I have a headache.  I not in the mood to stop, maybe tomorrow I will stop.  Stop it, leave me alone.  Stop nagging me.  Take care of it yourself, there is bottle, pee in the bottle.”  Now if your husband talked to you like that, you and your women friends would string him up, you would verbally shred him to pieces.  And yet, you feel entitled to talk to him that way.  Believe it or not, men have feelings too.  Just because they are not as visually demonstrative with their feelings, they still have them.  Those kinds of comments by you are like daggers in his heart and does damage to him and your relationship.  He can’t help his sexual desires any more than you can help feeling the excessive urge to pee when you are pregnant.  I would venture to say that your husband is a whole lot more tolerant of your need to pee than you are his need for sexual relief.  I am frankly surprised that there are not a greater percentage of divorces than our current 50%.

     You need to shed your “little girl inhibitions” about sexuality and become the wife that your husband would like to have.  You need to be the mature, sophisticated woman who takes pride in satisfying your husband.  You need to stop thinking about all of the things that you won’t do for him in bed.  If you were really serious about being a good wife, you would be asking him:  In what way can I be a better wife for you?  What would being an ideal wife look like and what could I do to be that ideal wife?  Love is supposed to be about giving of yourself and satisfying your husband and giving him a feeling of contentment with you.

     Now I ask you, whose approval are you seeking when you continue in those “little girl inhibitions”:  your parents, the church, God, your women friends?  You certainly are not getting your husband’s approval.  You are damaging your marriage.  You are preventing the very “Happily Ever After” that you seek

     Now I have had enough experience talking to and coaching women that I know that many of you are now angry with me and thinking:  “who does this guy think he is anyway?”  You would then want to tell me how undeserving your husband is and everything that is wrong with him.  You would want to tell me if he changes this or that, then maybe you would become more of what he wanted.  Let me tell you, women are supposed to be the experts at relationships and feelings.  This is something that you need to initiate regardless of how undeserving you think that your husband is.  Like it or not, it is women who inspire men to romance.  If you are not taking care of his needs, romance is the last thing on his mind.

     Believe it or not, my thoughts are not just the rantings of some sexist pig.  Other women authors have voiced similar opinions in books in the past.  There was a book and a course entitled:  The Total Woman written by a woman named:  Marabelle Morgan.  She revitalized marriages.  Her theme was that women need to take care of their husband’s sexual and emotional needs and to give him respect.  She taught this course around the country.  Coach Don Shula of the Miami Dolphins had the player’s wives take this course and as a result, the Dolphins had the first ever back to back Super Bowl wins as well as the first ever unbeaten season by an NFL team.  This technique works and has been proven to work to improve marriages.  She counseled wives that not only should the wives willingly take care of her husband’s sexual needs but that the woman should be the aggressor once in a while.  She suggested that you have a little daring and adventuresome flirtations.  As an example, she suggested that the wife meet her husband at the door dressed in nothing but cellophane when he gets home.  The growing feminist movement was coming to the fore in the early 70’s.  The feminists seized on this comment and held Mrs. Morgan up to scorn and national ridicule.  Ms. Morgan’s course had gained nation-wide acceptance and was making huge improvements in people’s marriages.  After all of this scorn, the movement died.  They even wrote a movie called:  The Stepford Wives.  It was a feminist diatribe and screed against women who would actually take care of their husbands.  You can get more information on this by going to Wikipedia and reading up on it.  Just punch in Stepford Wives and see what they say.

     Dr. Laura Schlesinger says basically the same thing.  She instructs women in her book:  The Care and Feeding of Husbands  as well as her other books to take care of the sexual needs of the husband and to give him respect.

     In the next chapter, we will see what the bible says about sex as well.  You will be surprised at what the Bible has to say.  Most people view the Bible as a bunch of “Thou shalt nots”.  There are more positive commands to have a great sex life than commands about sexual sin.

                                        What Not To Do

     Before I get into what you should be doing with your husband in bed, I need to talk to you about what not to do to your husband.  Never ever put him down about his sexuality.  God gave him his sexuality.  Belittling him or putting him down is cruel and highly inappropriate.  One of the very common complaints that I hear from your husbands is that you put him down because of his sexuality.  That shows utter lack of sensitivity on your part.  It is boorish behavior and is unconscionable.  I have heard comments like:  Is sex all you ever think about, what are you a pervert or something, all you ever think about is yourself, if you want that (whatever that is) go find it from another woman because I am not doing it.  You know the negative put down statements that I am talking about.  If you have made these kinds of statements, you need to go to your husband and ask for forgiveness.  How would you like it if your husband put you down for having periods?  It is not your fault, that is just how you are made.  Well your husband’s sexuality is how he is made by God.  Putting him down for it is equivalent to saying that God is stupid for having put this sex drive in your husband.  Do you think that your husband’s sexuality is any different than other men’s? Putting him down for it is just mean, hateful and cruel.

     Never ever say:  Fuck you to your husband, I don’t care how angry you are.  That is verbal abuse which as you know can hurt more than physical abuse.  What I find from coaching women is that they have no problem saying:  “Fuck you!” to your husbands.  The absolute irony is these same women would not consider saying Fuck me in bed with their husbands.  Their distorted notion is that saying fuck me is slutty and yet they have no compunction about saying fuck you.  If you have done this to your husband you need to go and sincerely apologize and promise him that you will never ever utter that hateful phrase again.  I can’t tell you how despicable uttering that phrase is.  It is the ultimate insult.  It is the equivalent of:  I hate you.  While saying fuck you is the ultimate insult, saying fuck me in bed is the ultimate compliment for your husband and expresses your love for him in a graphic way that is very pleasing to him.  Let me sum up with my reinterpretation of that old wrong nursery rhyme:

”Sticks and Stone can break your bones, but words will never hurt you.”

     I have reinterpreted with the correct meaning:

Sticks and Stones can only break your bones, but words:

Can wound a spirit, break a heart or kill a relationship.

                                      What To Do

                                Talking Dirty in Bed

     Now again I can hear the howls from you women, I would never do that.  Well let me ask you something.  Would you feed your cat hay to demonstrate your love for the cat?  Of course not.  Would you feed a cow, meat?  Again, of course not.  Men genuinely would love for you to talk dirty in bed with them.  They have a need to hear it.  Just because you don’t need it does not mean that they don’t.  I would suggest that you go to Harlequin’s Spice Section and order any books from that section.  It will help you to get over your inhibitions about talking dirty in bed with your man.  These books are written by women authors who fully embraced their sexuality including talking dirty in bed. The sex scenes are more graphically written. Reading these books will help you to lose your inhibitions about this wonderful thing that you could do for your husband.  You need to understand that for a man, talking dirty in bed is just another way of saying:  I love you to him.  It says that you find him desirable and that you enjoy his attention.  When you say:  “Fuck me” in bed, you are complimenting him and telling him that he is a hero in bed.  This is the way that you as a woman can romance him.  Just as you desire romance from your man, he as well desires romance from you.  The thing that you need to understand is that he does not want or need the same kinds of romance that you desire, he is a man and not a woman. Just as you would not feed hay to a cat,  saying “fuck me” in bed is the ultimate form of romance for your man.  Don’t ever put him down for desiring this form of sexual expression.  When you give him this, you become the hot passionate lover that he desires. What you most likely will be surprised by is the fact that getting comfortable with talking dirty in bed with your man is highly liberating for you as well.  You might be surprised at how it enhances your own sexuality and that your climaxes come more easily and more powerfully. He then is much more inspired to give you the romance that you crave.  When you give him the kinds of things that he desires in bed, he is much more willing to give you the things that you are looking for.  The Bible says that:  He (she) who sows sparingly, shall reap sparingly; and he (she) who sows bountifully shall reap bountifully.II Corinthians 9:6

     Now the thing to remember here  is that sex is not just something that you let your husband do to you, but something that you should be actively involved in.

                              Showing Nipples

 I assumed that you have taken my advice about buying new lingerie and letting him pick your lingerie since he is the one who sees it.  He knows what he likes.  You might be daring and not only buy  lacy bras, but bras that do not have lined cups.  The girls on the TV show: Friends often wore unlined bras and allowed their nipples to be seen discreetly through their clothes. In the TV show called: ACCORDING TO JIM, his TV wife named Cheryl often wore a non-lined bra and allowed her nipples to be discreetly seen. Even if you only do this for the times that you went out on a date with your husband, it would be a wonderful thing to do for him. If you have inhibitions about wearing this type of bra all of the time, at least make sure that the bra is lacy in terms of lace over the cups of your bra.  Wear something besides the perennial white.  Wear matching bras and panties. And for crying out loud give the man some color. 

                              Flashing Him Beaver Shots

     When you go out with your husband, take the opportunity to wear a short skirt. He will love it. I guarantee you that if you make sure that he gets a peek up that skirt and sees your lacy panties, he will always open the car door for you. Opening your car door for you is certainly romantic.  Make sure that you reward his romance by romancing him back by making sure that he gets a nice “beaver shot” (peek up your skirt seeing your lacy panties).  When you are in the car, turn your legs towards him and bring them up allowing him to look up your skirt and see your panties.  Just don’t do it so much that he gets you guys into a car accident enjoying the view.  The ideal time is when you are stopped at a stoplight.  When he takes off again, cut off the view so that he is not distracted until the next stop light. By the way, either don’t wear any pantyhose so you don’t obscure the view of your panties.  If you feel that you must wear stockings, make sure that you wear thigh high stockings so that he sees your panties unobscured when you let him look up your skirt. 

                                 Giving Him Foreplay

     When you get home, and it is time to go to bed, do a little strip tease for him.  When he wants to make love to you, let him and welcome him.  When he is sucking on your nipples and nuzzling your boobs, wrap your arms around his head and stroke his hair or when he feels your boobs with his hands cover his hand with your hand.  It lets him know that you welcome his touch. Show pic of woman with her arms wrapped around man’s head as he nuzzles tits.  Better yet, take his hand before he touches your boob and bring it up with your hand and cup his hand around your boob. Show pic of woman holding man’s hand with hers cupped on her boob. This communicates that you love him and welcome his advances and that you want to satisfy his desires.  When he is going down on you, do pelvic thrusts against his tongue.  Better yet, wrap your hands around his head and lock your fingers together behind his head and do pelvic thrusts against his tongue.  If he is going to fondle your vagina, put your hand over his and thrust against it.  Push his finger with your finger so that you cause him to penetrate you with his finger.  Take the initiative sometimes and roll him over on his back.  Bend over him so that your breasts are hanging down.  Lower yourself so that just your nipples are touching his body.  Take that opportunity to stroke his body just with your nipples.  I call this a “nipple massage”.  It brings electrifying jolts of pleasure to his body.  Our body has low voltage electrical energy in it. It is responsible for energizing our nerve endings.  You get electrical impulses from your brain to the rest of your body. It is this electrical energy that picked up in EKG’s. For example to explain, you can take a bobby pin and stick into one side of an electrical outlet.  You will not get a shock.  If you stick the bobby pin in both sides of the outlet, you will complete the circuit and get badly shocked.  Well the same is true with your nipples.  One nipple alone is not nearly as arousing as using both nipples.  Both nipples complete the electrical circuit in his body.  Stroke your nipples over his face, chest, stomach, legs, thighs and most importantly his penis (dick). 

                                     BLOW JOBS

     This is an age old discussion.  There are many women who refuse to give their husbands blow jobs.  “Ugh, gross, I am not going to do that”.  “Little girl” inhibitions are cropping up again here.  Do you want to have a Bill and Hillary marriage where your husband has to go to other women or hookers to get a blow job?  That is the number one thing men visit hookers for.  A great percentage of men who frequent prostitutes are married.  By your refusal, you are then a stumbling block for him as forbidden in the chapter on sex and the bible.  Some of you will give your men blow jobs but won’t allow him to come in your mouth.  Some of you will give him a blow job but then will spit out his semen.  You claim that you don’t like the taste.  Imagine if your husband went down on you but then spit out the vaginal secretions that he got in his mouth.  How likely would you want him to go down on you again?  What if he would not go down on you because he claimed not to like your taste?  Really, when you tell your husband that, you are telling him that you think that he is disgusting and more of that age old sexism where women are good and men are bad.

          If you really want to be cherished by your husband, and you want to show him your love, you need to learn to give him good blow jobs.  Any woman can lay there with her legs spread and think about other things while her poor husband pumps away at her.  It takes love and commitment to take his penis (dick) in your mouth and make love to him.  It is intensely personal and loving.  Without it, he feels profoundly cheated and disappointed. 

     For those of you who have a problem with getting semen in your mouth, you can take an intermediate step.  You can put a condom on your husband’s dick (penis) and give him the blow job and you are not going to get any semen in your mouth.  You can use it as a “baby step” to make progress.  You can feel him ejaculate but not actually get the semen in your mouth.  You should use this technique as a way to progress to a full blow job where you allow your husband to come in your mouth and swallow.  At the very least, you should use this technique to give him a blow job.  I know of women out there who won’t even take their husband’s dick in their mouth.  I ask you if you are one of those women, why did you even bother to get married anyway?  You need to get over this.  You can if you have the right attitude.  You can through a desensitization  process called “successive approximations.”  This basically means getting a little closer each time.  Others would call it “baby steps”.  The point being is that you are getting closer and making progress in moving forward in pleasing and loving your husband. 

   Now I know that many of you out there will complain about taste or consistency.  Neither of those issues needs to be a problem if you have the right attitude and practice the right technique.  It is really a simple matter to solve.  When your husband’s climax is imminent, instead of trying to block his ejaculation with your tongue, you simply let him shoot to the back of your throat.  You then quickly swallow.  This solves both problems.  You won’t taste his semen because all of your taste buds are on the front of your tongue.  Following my technique you therefore don’t taste his semen. You also don’t have the consistency issue to deal with because again it is not hitting your tongue.  Allowing him to shoot in the back of your throat, it simply feels like a little extra saliva in your mouth.  If you spit out his semen, you get it on your tongue and have the taste and consistency to deal with. You can do this if you decide to.

     For all you feminists out there who claim to espouse equal rights, how is it fair for you to expect your man to go down on you and you don’t return the favor? Where is his equal rights?  Besides that, your vaginal secretions taste remarkably similar to his semen.  Hillary is a feminist who obviously does not give Bill blowjobs and look what that got her.  Do you really think that they have a happy marriage?  Do you think that they are achieving “happily ever after”?

     If you have not given your husband a blow job but have now decided to, it is not difficult.  He will love you for attempting to please him.  You simply go down on him and suck.  If his penis is limp, you can generally take his whole dick (penis) in your mouth.  You suck on it like you are sucking a milk shake through a straw.  You also place your tongue firmly against his dick (penis).  As his dick grows to a full erection, you go down as deeply on it as you comfortably can without gagging.  You then wrap your hand around his dick (penis) at that point as a marker and don’t go deeper than that when you start vigorously thrusting up and down on the shaft of his dick.  If your jaw gets tired or you need to remove your mouth to catch your breath, it is imperative that you continue stroking his dick with your hand or he will lose the momentum of getting to the point of ejaculating.  If you stop, then you will have to start all over again. 

     There are other very obvious reasons to give your husbands blow jobs.  Most of you won’t consider having intercourse when you are on your period.  Why should your husband be deprived of sex just because you are on your period?  If you really love him and care about his needs, you won’t deprive him of sexual relief.  After childbirth, you are forbidden from intercourse for 6 weeks on average.  Again, why should your husband be forced to masturbate?  Many women feel that they have the right to deprive him after childbirth.  In fact many of you deprive your husband sex for months after giving birth claiming that you are too tired.  He feels rejected, lonely and resentful towards you and the new baby.

     Let me give you a technique that requires little energy expenditure from you and yet gets your husband off fairly quickly and keeps him happy and satisfied.  This would involve two props:  a pair of your lacy and silky panties and our Power Tool Vibrator. (go to our website to order this fantastic product) You give him a little foreplay by stroking your nipples across his penis (dick).  You then start sucking his dick and take those silky panties, (the satiny back panel of the panties) and lightly stroke them across the underside of his scrotum (balls, nut-sack)  This area is extremely sensitive to him.  You continue to rapidly stroke very lightly with those panties on the underside of his scrotum while you are sucking on him.  The silkiness of your panties causes him to think in terms of how silky the interior of your vagina (pussy) feels when it is well lubricated.  You then turn the Power Tool Vibrator on high and place the bulb firmly on the base of his penis (dick).  You simply hold the bulb of the vibrator firmly against the base of his dick while you are sucking him.  It is a very powerful stimulant to him and will cause him to get off much quicker, thereby conserving energy on your part.  It will also give him a mind blowing orgasm because of the combination of the sensation of you sucking him, stroking him with your panties and the powerful vibrator.  Don’t be surprised if he screams in ecstasy in the most intense orgasm he has ever had. 

     Now for you women who absolutely refuse to give your husband a blowjob or who won’t let him come in your mouth, there is a variation of the above scenario.  You simply not only stroke those silky panties under his testicles, but you wrap the silky side of the panties around his cock and stroke them up and down his dick.  You then place the Power Tool Vibrator at the base of his dick and let him ejaculate into your panties.  He will fantasize about coming inside of you.  It will take care of his urgent need for sexual relief and is so much better than making him masturbate. You should never ever make your husband masturbate to relieve himself.  He will have a lot of resentment towards you because you are not taking care of his sexual needs. The above technique is not the best, but you should promise him that you will never ever deny him sex again, even if you have to give it to him less than what he desires.   

                             Sex During Your Period

     Now I know that many of you would never consider having sex during your period.  There is no medical reason not to have sex during your period.  There is no moral reason not to have sex during your period either.  Sex during your period in Old Testament times was forbidden due to the Jewish law of cleanness.  This was done away with in the New Testament.  About the only time to avoid sex during your period is during the first day at the heaviest flow rate.  I have had sex during my wife’s periods for years.  You simply lay a towel on the bed to catch any blood drips.  It is only a little messier than conventional sex.  In fact there is good reason to have sex during your period and before your period is because climaxes for you will naturally relieve period cramps.  You can insert a tampon and have your husband give you oral sex to achieve your climax or use our Power Tool Vibrator.  Not only will it relieve period cramps, but due to the endorphins released in your brain, it will be a great cure for your moodiness and crabbiness and PMS.

                                 ANAL SEX

     I can just hear the howls from you women now all the way down to Florida where I live.  You are screaming: “no way.”  Before you get all hot and bothered let me assure you, if it is done right you can find it very enjoyable and can even climax during this type of sex.  The reason is that your husband’s penis (dick) can hit your G spot from behind and cause you to have a powerful climax.  Anal sex is only forbidden to homosexual men in the Bible, it is not forbidden between husband and wife.  This is also another option to consider for those of you women are too squeamish to have intercourse during your period.  Let me tell you how you can do it and enjoy it as well as your husband. First of all it goes without saying that you want to be very clean before you engage in this behavior.  In fact, you should allow your husband to wash you with soap and water and use a germicidal baby wet wipe to clean  your anus (asshole).  This is most easily accomplished during a romantic shower or bath together. 

     After having him get you off 2 or 3 times during conventional oral sex, have him turn you over and have him lick your anus (asshole).  There are nerve endings in your anus (asshole) that you did not even know that you had that when stimulated are highly pleasurable and sensitive.  Then have him spread your butt cheeks and insert his tongue up your anus (asshole).  Then have him probe in and out (tongue fucking).  The sensation will blow your mind.  If you will simply relax, you will find it highly enjoyable.  I know, your mind is saying no, but your anus (asshole) will be screaming:  yes, yes, yes.  It is highly erotic, sophisticated and naughty. You will feel good about yourself if you let your inhibitions down and engage in it.  Once the foreplay has you sufficiently aroused, you take a quality water based lubricant like KY Jelly and lube up your husband’s penis (dick, cock).  He will enjoy the feeling of you stroking him with the lubricant. Then you don’t allow him to penetrate you.  You roll him over on his back and you sit astride him either facing him or facing away from him.  You then have him support his dick vertically and you very gently and  slowly sit down on him and allow your anus (asshole) to be penetrated.  You allow it to progress inside you very slowly and gently slide all the way up to the hilt taking your time.  Once you are fully penetrated, you stop and relax.  You wait for a full minute, during which time your anus (asshole) will relax.  It is imperative to not skip this step because this is what prevents you from experiencing pain.  You then start slowly moving up and down until you are comfortable with this new form of penetration.  Once you get comfortable then you can start vigorously stroking and you will be surprised how pleasurable it can be.  You don’t want him to do the stroking because he does not know how it feels to you inside.  If he strokes wrong, it can result in pain for you.  When you are controlling the penetration, rate of speed and angle of penetration, you are assured of avoiding any pain.

     If you are facing your husband, lean over and kiss him and allow your nipples to stroke his chest as you are rhythmically pumping him.  You can even lean forward and have him lick and suck your nipples.  Then turn around and sit astride him again and lower yourself back down on his penis (dick, cock).  This is great for both of you.  He can watch his penis (dick) penetrating you which is highly erotic for him.  You can have him slap you hard on your butt cheek and you will find how erotic this feels.  It will actually feel pleasurable to you.  Then you can take our Power Tool Vibrator and place it on your clitty (clitoris) while you are riding his dick (penis).  You can also at the same time stroke his balls with a pair of your silky panties.  The advantage of using the vibrator is that you are guaranteed to have multiple orgasms while you are riding him.  You can experiment with different angles of penetration.  You want the head of his penis (dick) to hit right behind your pubic bone.  This will stimulate your G spot and can likely result in a powerful mind blowing G spot orgasm.  If you achieve a G spot orgasm, you will likely have it be accompanied with a big gush release of vaginal fluid that both of you will find highly pleasurable. You could even experience a powerful squirting that you are unable to control that will give you a mind blowing climax.  So don’t be so quick to dismiss anal sex.  It is worth investing in and experimenting with. 

     You can experiment with this on your own before having your husband do it with you.  Use a vibrating dildo.  You insert it gently and very slowly getting comfortable with it. Once it is inside of you, stop and let your anus get used to having it inside and it will relax around the dildo.  You then can proceed slowly as you get comfortable with the penetration. You want to aim the end of the vibrator towards the backside of your pubic bone.  You want to stroke it slowly at first but then pick up speed and pressure.  AS you get aroused, shorten the strokes and have the end of the vibrator hit your G spot.  You will become more and more aroused.  You can achieve a mind blowing climax.

                                  Feedback In Bed

     Now we have already discussed how important it is that you talk dirty in bed sometimes to your husband.  What we have not talked about is your feedback to him in bed.  He needs not only encouragement but gentle guiding and instruction.  When he is hitting a spot very nicely, make sure that you moan your approval.  Perhaps saying oh yes, that feels really good, keep doing that, or simply:  yes, yes, yes.

     Now there are times that he is motivated but just not hitting the spot the way that you want.  For crying out loud, don’t suffer in silence but tell him:  a little higher, lower, not so hard, harder or whatever the appropriate instruction is.  He has no idea how you are feeling.  By not giving him that feedback for fear of hurting his feelings, you are lessoning your own experience.  Imagine that you had an itch on your back that you could not reach.  You ask him to scratch it and he is not in the right place.  Would you tell him oh that feels good and not get the itch scratched?  Of course you would not, so why are you so inhibited about telling him in bed what does and does not work for you.  Every woman is different and unique.  He might have had a previous lover that liked something and now he is doing the same thing to you that you don’t enjoy at all.  You need to give him feedback.  I once had a girlfriend that told me that she liked her nipples sucked really hard.  Once I left her, I mistakenly thought that all women would like this.  I find out the hard way with the next girlfriend who chastised me because she liked just the opposite.  She wanted her nipples sucked very gently.  She told me:  “I am not a cow, quit sucking on them like you are a calf!”

     When you have your husband bring you to an orgasm, SCREAM!  It will be music to his ears and make him feel like he is a great lover.  The other benefit to you is that your orgasms will be stronger.  The act of screaming greatly intensifies the sensation of your orgasm.  Why do you think that the women tennis players scream when they hit the tennis ball?  Sports physiologists have proved that you can get 20% more power by screaming or grunting.  The same thing works in the bedroom.  Now I know that some of you are saying:  “Hey, I can’t do that, I have sleeping kids in the next bedroom.”  Well yes you can.  You simply put a pillow over your face and scream into it.  The kids won’t hear you but your husband will.  It will make him and you feel good and definitely improve your sex life.

    Try my techniques with your husband and see how he responds.  If you do, don’t be surprised at how much more romantic he becomes.  You will feel better about yourself finally shedding those “little girl inhibitions” and becoming the sophisticated fully functioning woman that your husband wants.  The last thing that you want  your husband to be thinking while he is making love to you is that a previous girlfriend was so much better in the sack than you are.


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