What Men Need From Women

December 22, 2010

This is a guest blog post by a woman who has been reading my blog and agreeing with it. She talks to a lot of sexually frustrated men who are not getting enough sex from their wives. She is not getting enough sex from her husband and she agreed to write this guest post from a woman’s point of view. Feminists be warned. Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

What you should be doing for your husband

After much discussion with many men online I have come to realize that many married men are neglected by their wives. Their sexual needs are not being met, not even coming close. I believe that many married men want to stay loyal to their wives and while many do many others are straying by means of online pornography or chatting with other women and even going to the extent of meeting other women to have their sexual needs met. Why is this happening? I have a few theories. When women marry, they agree to take the vows of loving their husband. But what do they think it actually means? Just to be their companion, to make a life together, to have children together, make a meal for them, do their laundry, while they pay many of the bills.

Men are sexual creatures. They can’t help it. They are wired this way. They need sex, they need the intimacy of their woman, they desire this and this is what makes them feel desired and wanted and loved. How do you think they feel? Like a little child, would you neglect and ignore your child day after day never offering them your love and affection as a mother? Well your husband is like that little boy. How often does he have to go day after day feeling neglected, ignored, never getting love and affection? He helps to provide a home for you, in many cases feeding you, clothing you, giving you the best that he can and what does he hope for in return? Do you think he needs nothing in return? Do you think he doesn’t need that loving caress because all you have to do is cook him a meal, and wash his clothes? Do you forget how good love and sex feels when you have that skin to skin contact? Is he asking too much to want to be loved? And he so wants to please you. Like a little child they want to please their mother. They want to please you sexually and many strive to be so good at it they can’t understand why you don’t want them. Day after day they get rejected, always hoping you’ll be in a good mood to give them some loving. But they continually get rejected, sometimes for weeks, months and even years. They yearn for the physical touch of your body, they yearn for your kiss, they yearn for your recognition. Give them the respect they deserve and love them physically. Suck their cock like you used to when you were dating or early in your marriage. Their cock is their manhood, they’re not just using you for sex it is man’s way of showing his love for you. Be submissive to him, is it really going to hurt you? It doesn’t mean you have to bow down to him, it means he is worthy of getting pleasure from his woman, the same when he goes down on you and gives you oral pleasure he is being submissive to you. He wants to please you. And you should want to please him back and give him that respect that he is worthy of being loved.

I know women don’t appreciate being ignored and neglected. What if your husband went day after day totally ignoring you, just being pleasant or nice, but never offering a smile, a warm touch. They are not there to just keep the bed warm. They need sex. And not because they want to demean you, degrade you, sexual release for a man is important for his physical health, mental health and spiritual health. They show you love every day by fixing things for you, their physical strength is always a plus when needed in the household, they are there to help you, fix your car, sometimes fixing a meal, spending time with the kids. They need your love and attention and for them this comes in the way of bodily contact. And sex is good for the female too, it will no doubt relieve a lot of pressure from you as well.

Do you see it as demeaning to give them head? When did you become afraid of their cock? Do you hate the feeling of being submissive to them because somehow you interpret this as you are a lower specimen. It is not! The nerve endings on their end of their cock is the ultimate pleasure for them. God put those nerve endings there for a reason. It gives them pleasure and why would you not want to pleasure your husband. He is more than willing to lick and suck your pussy and clit. They are more than willing to play with your titties and lick and suck them. Many men are more than willing to massage your body. They want to make love to your body and give you pleasure because giving their woman pleasure is the most important thing for them. It makes them feel like a man that they can do this for you. So why would you not want to reciprocate. Giving your man the sexual love and affection that he needs and desires will make your life and his life the absolute best. He will have a reason for getting up in the morning because he will know that his woman desires him and shows it.

Ladies get a grip – men don’t want to go without sex but sadly many are and perfectly good married men too. Eventually many will start perusing porno, if they aren’t already, they may be attempting to meet other women if they aren’t already. Someone else will make them feel like a man, but let it be the woman he has at home.

Are You Secretly Flirting or Cheating on Your Spouse, Another Great Guest Post

July 15, 2010


here is the link to the Happily Ever After Project


What counts as cheating?
A couple years ago, I came across a website that advocated something that, at the time, seemed just crazy. It was this: complete and forthcoming marital honesty and transparency. The site author suggested that I imagine that a private detective or hidden camera were with me at all times, that everything I did or said would be reported back to my husband. He challenged me to become a wife who kept zero secrets.

At first, I thought it sounded easy. After all, it wasn’t as if I was having an affair or doing anything that I felt guilty about. Me? I didn’t have any secrets. My husband could stash Wifey Cams all over the place and he’d come up with zilch-o.

Or so I thought.

I began imagining that I was being filmed and ratted on at every turn. You know what? I realized that I did a lot of things that I would never want to get back to my husband. For instance:

■Making fun of him behind his back
■Occasionally buying something that was not in our budget and neglecting to tell him about the purchase
■Making an investment decision without consulting him
■Realizing as I was loading groceries into my car that I’d forgotten his favorite frozen strawberry bars and thinking, “I’ll just tell him I couldn’t find them if he asks about it.”
■Occasionally blogging about something that I was hoping he would never get around to reading
So I pledged to become a completely honest and transparent wife. You want to know what happened as soon as I made that pledge? I stopped saying negative things about my husband to other people. Instead, I only said those things to him. I stopped making unilateral decisions. I began opening up more, too. I told him more about me, what I was working on, what I was thinking about, and how I was feeling.

We grew closer—a lot closer. And I feel freer and more authentic as a result.

I thought of this when a reader emailed me the following questions:

Is it okay to foster friendships with members of the opposite sex even if you are married?

Is it okay to hang out with members of the opposite sex? When does this become a flag for concern?

Is it wrong to have a little office flirting?

Is it okay to flirt a little on Facebook and Twitter?

Initially, my first thought was, “If you have to ask, it’s probably not okay.” That sounds more flip that I intend. What I mean by it is this: by asking, you are assuming that your partner might have a problem with it. And if your partner might have a problem with it, there’s a good chance that you are right.

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