Forreplay and Afterplay, How To Be a Hero In The Bedroom

April 22, 2011

FOREPLAY AND AFTERPLAY

As a marriage, relationship, and sexual coach, I can’t believe how much lousy sex is happening out there. Maybe you are experiencing less than great sex with the man in your life or past men in your life. As a man speaking in defense of men, there is really no place for men to learn how to give our partners great sex. There is no SCHOOL FOR SEX out there. We all know where the body parts go, but men for the most part do not adequately understand a woman’s sexuality and how to give you fantastic sex. It is for this reason that I am writing this article. If you share this article with the man that you care about and tell him that you would really like to experience these things and ask him to do them with you, I promise, you will have better more enjoyable sex.

In conversations with women, I have come to understand that you need a transition period from the rat race to moving towards making love with your man. Most of you don’t have an “instant on” like men.

1. Brushing Hair Now I realize that for most of you, you are not necessarily going to get sexually aroused from having your hair brushed. What it does however is to give you that transition time to move towards sexual availability. The act of having your hair brushed is very pleasurable and releases endorphins in the brain. You feel pampered and that pampered feeling then causes you to have affectionate feelings towards your man. Five to ten minutes of hair brushing is a wonderful way to decompress from the daily grind. Animals instinctively groom each other and is something that we should do more. Your life will be better with more tactile stimulation.

2. Head to Toe Massage This technique has worked for me with every partner that I have ever been with. It is so effective as an arousal technique that I had an ex wife who would not make love with me unless I gave her a massage first. I start by stoking and lightly scratching a woman’s scalp with my fingernails. I then proceed from her neck all the way down to her feet. I spend more time massaging a woman’s butt like I am kneading bread. You have nerve endings in your butt that you did not even know that you have. I have never failed getting a woman wet from massaging her butt. I go on down and spend time massaging her feet. There is good reason for this. All of the nerve endings in your body terminate in your feet. By massaging the feet, you stimulate and wake up all of the nerves in a woman’s body. It prepares the rest of her body to be stimulated and aroused.

3. Let Your Man Undress You But Stop Him at Bra and Panties. (Author’s aside: So many of you out there are wearing utilitarian underwear, white nylon panties with no lace and a functional bra. Men get turned on visually, make sure that you have lacy and frilly bras and panties. Would you want a present that was not nicely wrapped or a cake with no frosting on it? Men need to see you in lacy and frilly lingerie.) The logic behind the man undressing you and having you stop him at bra and panties is to slow him down. The act of undressing you is a turn on for both of you as well. I tell my clients sex feels good, why rush it. Far too many men treat lovemaking like they do masturbation, they want to get it over in a hurry. Once you are down to bra and panties, have him continue a different variation of massage by lightly and slowly running fingertips up and down your entire body on both sides. This is incredibly arousing for you.

4. Lightly Stroke Nipples Through The Bra The idea behind keeping those bras and panties on and slowing down also reminds us of a bygone time in high school where we were furtively fondling. It adds to the excitement. Having your man lightly stroking your nipples through the bra gets them erect. Then let him slide his hand inside the cup of the bra before you allow him to remove your bra, all the while kissing you. Then he can remove the bra and proceed to more vigorous stimulation of your breasts and nipples by sucking them hard and fondling your breasts.

5. Stimulate you and stroke you through your panties Have him lightly stoke the midline of your vagina back and forth through your panties. Then have him blow hot breath through the panties over your clitoris. The warmth of his breath and the pressure of his lips on your mound through the panties is wonderfully arousing. Then have your man hook a finger inside the leg band of your panties and have him run his finger up and down inside the leg-band of the panties on both sides without actually touching your vagina. This will have you becoming very aroused and getting wet. After a few minutes of him doing this, then you can let him slide his hand inside your panties. It is not only arousing but brings back those memories of heavy petting in high school or maybe even junior high for some of you. After an extended session of this, then have him pull your panties off very slowly. The slow removal of panties is very erotic and sensual. If you really want to turn it up a notch and get passionate, have him literally rip your panties off by hooking his hand in the waistband and with one very strong yank, literally rip them off of you. What you lose by the panties being ruined, you gain in tremendous arousal. Every partner that I have ever done this with has gotten incredibly turned on because of the fear and the excitement that the act engenders in them. Most women like to be taken forcefully sometimes by a strong confident man.

6. Vaginal Penetration with the Tongue. Most men naturally go for your clitty (author’s slang term for clitoris. It sounds much cuter and not so damned clinical). Instead ask him to run his tongue up and down between your vaginal lips and then have him penetrate your vagina repeatedly with his tongue. You will find this incredibly arousing and better prepares your clitty for stimulation with his tongue.

7. Clitty Stimulation Techniques Instead of licking your clitty right away, have him gently pull back the foreskin (yes the hood over your clitty is analogous to a man’s foreskin on an uncircumcised penis.) He then can suck on your clitty like he is sucking a milkshake though a straw. This will cause your clitty to swell from engorging with blood similar to a man getting an erection. It will actually lengthen and grow in circumference similar to a man’s erection. He then can move up and down like you do giving him a blow job. It is a clitty blow job and feels wonderful. After a few minutes of that he can use what I call the “machine gun tongue”. This is a super fast stroking of your clitty with his tongue that will give you powerful orgasms. The way to do that is to have him flex his tongue against his upper lip to use as a spring and forcefully flick his tongue past that upper lip onto your clitty. This enables him to move his tongue much faster simulating a vibrator. For even more stimulation, have him growl like a bear while he is doing this. The act of growling makes his vocal cords vibrate which will then transmit those vibrations through his tongue onto your clitty.

8. Multi-sensory Inputs As you know, most women are better at multi-tasking than are men. Lovemaking is one area where you would benefit by encouraging your man to multi-task. While he is licking and sucking on your clitty, he can be penetrating your vagina with his fingers in and out with one hand and rolling your nipple around in his fingers with the other hand. The additional stimuli you will find very arousing. There is a precedent for this. Phil Spectre pioneered what he called the “Wall of Sound”. This technique involved adding multiple tracks of sound for a lusher musical auditory experience. Chefs use what they call “Adding layers of Flavor”. The point is, the multi-sensory inputs mean better pleasure for you just like in cooking and music.

9. Anal Stimulation Many people view this as a taboo. That is too bad because there are incredible pleasure nerve endings in the anus. This is of course when you want to be squeaky clean maybe just after a romantic shower for two. If you want to be absolutely antiseptic (which is not necessary, I have never gotten sick from giving a partner a “rim job”) you can take an antiseptic baby wipe and wrap it around a finger and clean the inside of the anus. At any rate have your man lick the anus and then penetrate your anus with his tongue in and out. Have him spread your butt cheeks apart so that he can enter it even deeper with his tongue. Once you get past the idea and let yourself go (and him too) you will find that it is incredibly arousing. Be willing to do it to your guy as it is very pleasurable for us as well. In another article I will explain how to have anal sex and that you can actually climax with anal sex. This article is about foreplay not actual intercourse.

10. Stroking your vagina with his penis. Before your man enters you for intercourse, have him take by now his erect penis and stroke it between your vaginal lips and on your clitty. Have him tease the entrance of your vagina with it. This will cause you to get exceedingly wet and your vagina can actually ache from the desire to be penetrated. Believe me two or three minutes of this kind of stimulation will have you literally begging him to take you and enter you. That will of course be a huge turn on and compliment for him.

AFTERPLAY TECHNIQUES

Now I know that the idea of after play to you seems unlikely.
You feel that you don’t get enough foreplay and usually once a man

Climaxes, then it is usually all over. Tell your man that you still
Have climaxes left in you and you would like him to get you off
some more. Tell him how horny he makes you and that you
want more of him. This is usually enough to persuade him.

11. Getting additional Orgasms Most men do not understand
That once he has you to this level of sexual excitement, it is a lot easier for you to achieve additional orgasms. Here is how you can easily knock off another ten orgasms. Get a Hitachi Magic Wand Vibrator. You have to order it on-line. It is the most intense, most powerful vibrator out there. You turn it on high and place it at your clitty. You have your man rhythmically finger you with his thumb, (a thumb is a lot bigger and close to the size of your man’s erect penis in girth) while also sucking on your nipples at the same time. The combination of the multiple sensory inputs will easily and powerfully give you additionally orgasms. This might so turn your man on that he gets another erection for another go round. Be sure and be very complimentary to him for taking such good care of you and you love how he makes you come with multiple orgasms. Positive reinforcement does wonders to encourage your guy to do it for you on a regular basis.

12. Once you are both satisfied, have him go into the bathroom an
And get a large towel and have him soak it in very hot water. Then have him wring it out very well and have him give you a hot towel massage. Have him pay careful attention to cleaning up between your legs. You will feel wonderfully pampered and be sure to ooh and aah. Then have him get a dry towel and dry you off and then have him powder your whole body down with your favorite powder. Then have him climb back in bed with you for cuddling time and spooning. You should put on a pair of silky panties, (not thongs) for spooning because the feeling of his penis against your butt covered by silky panties feels very erotic to him. The silkiness of the back of your panties reminds him of the wonderful feeling of the silky interior of your wet vagina. Have him lovingly stroke your butt through those panties. You will love the feeling of his hand stroking your butt and he will love the feeling of those silky panties against his penis and against his hand. If you include all of these techniques, I guarantee you happier and more satisfied sex.


Friends Can Really Make a Difference In People’s Lives

April 15, 2011

Special thanks to Todd Ficchete for this reposting. He had found it on the internet and I recall reading a number of years ago. Nevertheless, it is worth re-reading. Especially in this modern day era where people want to pick on other people, especially with whom they disagree. They don’t just want to disagree but to verbally assault and attempt to destroy someone. This is aided by the anonymity of the internet. Take responsibility for your actions people. Just because someone disagrees with you does not make them a bad person. Quit trying to verbally assassinate them.

I have posted the link to Todd’s blog below

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

http://toddfitchette.wordpress.com/2011/04/14/the-value-of-friendship-priceless/#comment-120

One day when I was a freshman in high school I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.” I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms, tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about 10 feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes; my heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.” He looked at me and said; “Hey thanks!”
There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school. I would never have hung out with a private school kid.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him; my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and joked, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to NC State. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for a business degree on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him about being a nerd and thought to myself how lucky I was NOT to be the one having to prepare a graduation speech.
Kyle looked great at graduation. He was one of those guys who really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, was I jealous! Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those grateful looks and smiled. “Thanks,” he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began: “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your

siblings, maybe a coach… but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give him or her. I am going to tell you a story.”
I looked at my friend in disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He told the audience how had planned to kill himself over the weekend when we first met. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
“Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.” I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me, smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.


10 Lessons On Being a Good Husband

April 13, 2011

I found this article on the online magazine called Your Tango. They occasionally have some good things to say about relationships. The magazine is free to subscribe to and I would recommend that you take them up on a free subscription.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

By Stu Gray
I didn’t get the “How to be a Husband” manual when I got married… It must not have been available on Amazon.com that year.
The only manual I had was the one I put together watching my mom and dad navigate their relationship. I learned some good practices, and some not-so-good ones, but even with everything I learned by watching, there was a whole lot more that was never taught.
So, if I had to boil it all down and pass along some marriage wisdom, the things I would have wanted someone to tell me before I tied the knot, I would pass along these ten nuggets of husband-ness. I hope they’re helpful.

1. Encourage your wife. Do you know what your wife’s dreams are? Do you care? You should. She needs you to support her in her life. She doesn’t want to be thought of as a second-class citizen. When you find out what she cares about, encourage her to go do it. If she feels like you won’t let her, she’ll end up resenting you down the road, and no one likes resentful people.

2. Become the spiritual leader of your home. Your wife needs you to be the spiritual leader. The old “if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything” saying is true. If you don’t lead your wife in spiritual situations, she might try to lead you, and this can cause pressure in your marriage.

3. Stop looking at porn. Porn introduces someone else into your relationship. Now, you may argue, “It’s not a real person,” but when you’re trying to be intimate with your wife, that picture is all you think about. And guess what? Your wife also thinks that picture is all you’re thinking about, which makes her feel used. Pornography distorts your mind when it comes to real intimacy—that real human being you share your bed with. So, ditch the porn. Become intimately involved with your wife instead.

4. Have healthy, encouraging male friendships. No more hanging out with guys who badmouth their wives. No more guys who check out porn and send it via email. You don’t need that. Find guys who love their wives, and can encourage you to keep getting better as a husband, and as a man.

5. Speak kindly of your wife to her. Find something your wife does well and point it out. Then, make a big deal of it! Even if it’s just vacuuming the house. Tell her you appreciate it. You know, there is a traditional Jewish custom that every Friday night for Sabbath, the husband and family honor the mother by singing her a song to tell her how wonderful she is. Now, I’m not saying you need to break out the vocals, but an outward display of appreciation is important. 5 Compliments Every Woman Loves To Hear

6. Speak kindly of your wife to others. No more badmouthing your spouse to your friends. The old adage works: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” First, your casual friends may not really care about your marriage. They could be either jealous of you or selfish. They could want you to hang out more often, so they may play up the “problems” that you tell them about. Second, there is no honor in airing your dirty laundry outside your marriage. Don’t do it.

By Stu Gray
7. Help out around the house without complaining. I’ve written about this here on Traditional Love—there are some things that are simply part of life (i.e. taking out the trash, cleaning up the shower when it gets that black-and-pink mold in it, etc.) These are chores we just have to do. It’s not even about showing love. It’s taking responsibility.

8. Invite her to join in doing something you like. Maybe she never joins you watching the game because she doesn’t understand it, or even more likely, she doesn’t know why it’s so important to you. Take time to explain why you like to do the things you do, why you want to share them with her, and then invite her to be part of them.

9. Make sure to take time for yourself. While you should invite your wife to take part in some things you do, you should also have activities you are able to enjoy for yourself. If you are constantly hanging around one another, you two might become weird drones that have no thoughts or feelings of your own! Make sure you find a hobby that is just yours to enjoy as a guy.

10. Be present. I think there is a real manhood crisis in our country, and it comes back to the family. I’ll take it a step further: It’s a problem brought on by husbands. Sometimes the man leaves, and the mother has to raise a family by herself. Sometimes, the husband just isn’t present, even if he is physically there. Are you so exhausted by your life and work that you can’t take a moment to be in the present with your wife and family? Turn off the electronics. Block out time that is for family only. Be present and fully engage with your wife. And remember: they say the best way to love your kids is to love their mother well. Want To Be A Happy Parent? Stop Trying So Hard


Secrets on How To Romance a Woman

April 11, 2011

How To Romance a Woman

In my practice, the number one complaint I get is how lousy you guys are in the sack. The number two complaint is how lousy you are at romancing a woman. I am going to give you some tips for romancing a woman.

You need to practice the art of the date after you two settle down. A woman begins to feel taken for granted when you don’t romance her any more or take her out for some fun on the town. She does a lot of what you want her to do and watches the movies that you want to watch. You need to treat her and her interests with respect. Tell her you are going to take her out on the town to a nice restaurant, then to a club or an upscale bar where they have a band and actual dancing. Before you go though, make sure to send her some flowers the day of. Preferably at her place of work. You get double brownie points for sending them to her where she works so that all of the women can ooh and aah and be jealous of her. You might also consider sending her a box of expensive chocolates like Godiva Chocolates.

You need to get dressed up for this, putting on a suit or sports jacket and tie. Preferably something bought new for the occasion.

Slow dance with your wife. Make her feel like she still has it. Or take her to a symphony. Nothing would make her feel more pampered and special than to take her to a symphony orchestra performance. She will feel elegant and pampered. You might even like it. There is nothing like the majesty and pomp of observing and hearing a live symphony orchestra playing in a good concert hall. Even if you hate it, remark positively about it, and she will love the experience and love you for taking her there.

As the evening is drawing to a close, take her to any body of water in a secluded place and make out with her. Have an extended session. Go down on her and get her off several times without her having to do anything for you in return. Believe me, when she gets you home, she will be ripping your clothes off for some hot sex. Be sure to hold her and kiss her and cuddle her afterwards and bask in the afterglow of a great evening. Trust me, you will have refilled your love bank for a while. She will be gushing about it to all of her girlfriends and relatives. You will be the hero and her knight in shining armour for a long time


Sexual Advice for Single Women

April 8, 2011

It is no wonder that you women are more confused than ever. You have been bombarded by multiple conflicting messages about sex and relationships. In a case of “Art Imitating Life” the TV show entitled: Sex in the City demonstrated women’s sense of conflictedness about sex and relationships. They proved to be ultimately clueless and tended to reinforce their own stereotypes. Carrie, the supposed expert on sex based upon her column was just as clueless about men and relationships as the rest of her girlfriends. This illustrates a problem in our society. We do not have any male advice columnists. If you are having trouble with a man, does it not make sense that you would go to a man for advice and counsel? The problem is, is that there are no nationally published male advice columnists.

I have confronted women’s magazine editors over the issue that their advice to women is always written by women. Invariably, these advice writers rarely confront women to tell them that they are doing anything wrong or damaging to their relationship with their man. What you get effectively from these writers is that they pat women on the bottom and reassure them that they are fine and it is the man’s fault. I will address this further in another chapter on how the feminists and the media are ruining your sex life. I will also explain the word MISANDRY in that chapter. It is a word and a concept that you really need to become familiar with and to be proactive in combating.

I differ from women advice columnists in that I am equal opportunity proponent. I take on men when they need to be confronted, and I take on women as well. I explain how each hurts their relationship, wittingly or unwittingly. If you really want to learn things and make things better in your relationship and are willing to hear critique, then I am your guy. If you just want me to be patronizing and pat you on the fanny and tell you that you are wonderful, don’t read my column.

Not only will I take on the feminists and the media, I will take on the church as well. I can do this because I was formerly a Baptist minister.

The church ignores the sexual issues that are contained in the Bible. There are numerous positive messages in the Bible about sex. There is even a school for sex mandated in the New Testament for women in how to love their husbands that you never hear preached or taught on.

According to the Bible, sex is a gift from God. All you ever hear in church are the “thou shall nots” about sex, you never hear any positive messages on sex or the positive commands about sex in the Bible.

You can’t trust the media either. All they ever want to do is print the sensational and the salacious. Truth is rarely found in the pages of the media. For example, according to the media, they often quote: “The world’s oldest profession” is prostitution. This is not even close to being true. If the media had any integrity, and believe me they don’t, they would tell you about all of the other professions that came before prostitution. You can find these professions listed in the Bible in succession: Shepherd, farmer, contractor, rancher, musician, blacksmith, hunter, boat-builder, winemaker, well digger and then prostitution. None of that of course is sensational and would not sell newspapers, so they sacrifice truth for sensationalism, expediency and profits. Trust nothing that you read in print without checking it out with numerous other sources.

Now let me give you some very important advice about sex and men, especially if you are single. Sex in dating has become so devalued that it is looked on as little more than a good night kiss. It is not a question of if, but only when you have sex with a guy you are dating.

I submit to you that you need to become much more selective about engaging in sex. Women have adapted the practice of having sex with the guy and hoping for the best. You are invariably disappointed. You are looking for that “knight in shining armor” to sweep you off of your feet. You want the “happily ever after” of love marriage and children. I submit to you that you need to get to know early on what the man is all about and what his goals are in terms of love and marriage. Often guys are just looking to have fun with a woman and have casual sex. In other words, many of them are just looking to get laid. You need to get rid of those guys before you ever let them into your bed and into your pants. You really don’t want to just be used as someone’s piece of ass.

Too many of you are so taken with romance that you don’t want to ask any hard questions up front, to your own detriment. The problem is, that for every guy that you sleep with that does not develop into a relationship, you become a little harder, more jaded and cynical and less trusting. You must guard your heart and your body. We have epidemic venereal diseases today, some of which are lifelong, or even fatal. Before you let that guy into your pants, you need to see a very recent negative Aids test and testing for all other venereal diseases like Herpes. I know that sounds very cold and unromantic, but I am trying to be pragmatic here and protect you. You need to protect yourselves. Any guy worth having will not have a problem with doing this for you. If he is unwilling, run the other direction.

The other thing is that you want to know that he has a good job that he can provide for your family. You also want to know if he is seriously marriage and family minded. What kind of father does he aspire to be? These are questions that you need to have answered before you ever engage in sex with him. If he passes on all of these questions and you are still considering sleeping with him and he still wants to be with you, he needs to pass one final test before you have sex with him. You need to ask him to read the part of this book that teaches men how to make love with you. Sadly, there is no “SCHOOL FOR SEX FOR MEN” out there to teach them how to make love with you and satisfy you. You already know from experience that what I am saying is true. Most men are just clueless about making love with a woman. Even if he is reasonably okay in bed, reading my instructions will make him fantastic in bed. Don’t you want to have a great sex life? So bottom line is to have him read my instructions and reassure you that he is willing to follow those directions in bed. If he does this, then have sex with him. This will take 3 or 4 dates to find this information out. You could take matters into your own hands and go online to dating sites and put all of this in your profile. You don’t need to date a lot of men, you need to date a few quality men that are already pre-screened by your clear description of what you are looking for in a man that is contained in your profile. Yes, I know that it will scare a lot of men off. That is my idea. You don’t need the men that it will scare off, you need the men who read it and it makes sense to them. We have a model of what a good man should look like in the Bible as listed in the following verses:

Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it;…so men out men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church;…For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh…Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; Ephesians 5: 25,28,29,31,33

Likewise you husbands, dwell with them according to the knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers might not be hindered. I Peter 3:7

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking who he may destroy. I Peter 5:8

I would even encourage you to put these scriptures in your profile in describing the kind of man that you are looking for. You are then again by using these scriptures in your profile pre-screening guys that are not seriously marriage minded.

I know that you still dream of the “happily ever after”. According to David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead who are co-directors of the Marriage Project at Rutgers University, they have found the following factors yield the best chance at long-lasting satisfying marriage: having similar goals and interests, know each other well but don’t live together before they get married, come from intact families, marry after age 25, and are not expecting a child, similar in age, race, religion, political beliefs, education, intelligence and values. The payoff of a good marriage is personal happiness, more and better sex than singles, economic success, health and long life, and very positive benefits for the children.

This is the kind of advice that I have given to single women in my family. If you follow it, you have a much higher chance of having “happily ever after”.


How To Have Pleasurable Anal Sex and Even Climax From It

April 2, 2011

I can just hear the howls from you women now all the way down to Florida where I live. You are screaming: “no way.” Before you get all hot and bothered let me assure you, if it is done right you can find it very enjoyable and can even climax during this type of sex. The reason is that your husband’s penis (dick) can hit your G spot from behind and cause you to have a powerful climax. Anal sex is only forbidden to homosexual men in the Bible, it is not forbidden between husband and wife. This is also another option to consider for those of you women are too squeamish to have intercourse during your period. Let me tell you how you can do it and enjoy it as well as your husband. First of all it goes without saying that you want to be very clean before you engage in this behavior. In fact, you should allow your husband to wash you with soap and water and use a germicidal baby wet wipe to clean your anus (asshole). This is most easily accomplished during a romantic shower or bath together.

After having him get you off 2 or 3 times during conventional oral sex, have him turn you over and have him lick your anus (asshole). There are nerve endings in your anus (asshole) that you did not even know that you had that when stimulated are highly pleasurable and sensitive. Then have him spread your butt cheeks and insert his tongue up your anus (asshole). Then have him probe in and out (tongue fucking). The sensation will blow your mind. If you will simply relax, you will find it highly enjoyable. I know, your mind is saying no, but your anus (asshole) will be screaming: yes, yes, yes. It is highly erotic, sophisticated and naughty. You will feel good about yourself if you let your inhibitions down and engage in it. Once the foreplay has you sufficiently aroused, you take a quality water based lubricant like KY Jelly and lube up your husband’s penis (dick, cock). He will enjoy the feeling of you stroking him with the lubricant. Then you don’t allow him to penetrate you. You roll him over on his back and you sit astride him either facing him or facing away from him. You then have him support his dick vertically and you very gently and slowly sit down on him and allow your anus (asshole) to be penetrated. You allow it to progress inside you very slowly and gently slide all the way up to the hilt taking your time. Once you are fully penetrated, you stop and relax. You wait for a full minute, during which time your anus (asshole) will relax. It is imperative to not skip this step because this is what prevents you from experiencing pain. You then start slowly moving up and down until you are comfortable with this new form of penetration. Once you get comfortable then you can start vigorously stroking and you will be surprised how pleasurable it can be. You don’t want him to do the stroking because he does not know how it feels to you inside. If he strokes wrong, it can result in pain for you. When you are controlling the penetration, rate of speed and angle of penetration, you are assured of avoiding any pain.

If you are facing your husband, lean over and kiss him and allow your nipples to stroke his chest as you are rhythmically pumping him. You can even lean forward and have him lick and suck your nipples. Then turn around and sit astride him again and lower yourself back down on his penis (dick, cock). This is great for both of you. He can watch his penis (dick) penetrating you which is highly erotic for him. You can have him slap you hard on your butt cheek and you will find how erotic this feels. It will actually feel pleasurable to you. Then you can take our Power Tool Vibrator and place it on your clitty (clitoris) while you are riding his dick (penis). You can also at the same time stroke his balls with a pair of your silky panties. The advantage of using the vibrator is that you are guaranteed to have multiple orgasms while you are riding him. You can experiment with different angles of penetration. You want the head of his penis (dick) to hit right behind your pubic bone. This will stimulate your G spot and can likely result in a powerful mind blowing G spot orgasm. If you achieve a G spot orgasm, you will likely have it be accompanied with a big gush release of vaginal fluid that both of you will find highly pleasurable. You could even experience a powerful squirting that you are unable to control that will give you a mind blowing climax. So don’t be so quick to dismiss anal sex. It is worth investing in and experimenting with.

You can experiment with this on your own before having your husband do it with you. Use a vibrating dildo. You insert it gently and very slowly getting comfortable with it. Once it is inside of you, stop and let your anus get used to having it inside and it will relax around the dildo. You then can proceed slowly as you get comfortable with the penetration. You want to aim the end of the vibrator towards the backside of your pubic bone. You want to stroke it slowly at first but then pick up speed and pressure. AS you get aroused, shorten the strokes and have the end of the vibrator hit your G spot. You will become more and more aroused. You can achieve a mind blowing climax.


Women, How You Can Tiger Proof Your Marriage

April 1, 2011

It is true that there are jerk men who feel the need to assuage their egos by carving notches in the bedposts. If you are married to this kind of guy, my heartfelt concerns are for you. These guys never get filled up because they lack self respect.

For the rest of you, the answer is easy; satisfy his needs.

Almost all of you have had the fantasy about living happily ever after. Too often that fantasy tends to be self centered where you see the “Prince Charming” sweeping you off of your feet and paying rapturous attention to you and pampering you and taking care of you. In talking with my female clients, they never took into consideration what their responsibility was in taking care of the prince to maintain the happily ever after.

Men are really, really simple. They have 3 basic needs, Respect, sex and food. According to Dr. Harley of His Needs , Her Needs, he would also say recreational companionship.

Man’s number one need is respect and admiration. Now we are living in a time of rampant MISANDRY. I suggest that you look it up on Wikipedia, it does a good job of explaining it. Basically it is reverse sexism towards men by women in our society. You can see it in the commercials. The man is portrayed as this helpless boob who has once again gotten himself and/or his family into trouble yet again. Then the “heroic woman” swoops in to save the day, all the while tossing off sarcastic and condescending remarks to her husband. You man needs your respect and admiration. He needs you to be his biggest cheerleader and he wants affirmation for how hard he tries to take care of you and the family. If you don’t give him respect, he will look for it elsewhere. You need to be his best friend and talk to him with respect at all times.

He also needs sex with you freely and lovingly given. Men get the bulk of their affectional needs through sex with their wife. Studies indicate that 60% of married women with children, inflict a starvation diet of sex once a week or less on their husbands. Now we can all agree that no woman should be forced to have sex against her will. What amazes me is the number of women who have no problem forcing her husband to do WITHOUT SEX AGAINST HIS WILL. Trust me, this breeds real resentment towards the wife. Every time he is forced to masturbate alone, it chips away at his affection for you and builds resentment. He feels as though you took vows and violated them. You vowed that he could have you and hold you. (euphemism for sex). In fact the dictionary backs this up. Look up the word unfaithful and it talks not only about cheating but being unfaithful to your vows to satisfy your mate. You need to give him sex freely and lovingly and also endeavor to give him the things that he asks for in bed. I can help you to get over your turnoffs to certain activities through a series of exercises. If you don’t give it, he will look elsewhere.

Now I have sympathy with young new mothers who feel exhausted. It is easy to put your husband’s sexual needs at the bottom of your priority list. AVOID THIS RELIGIOUSLY. You need to always put your husband’s needs at the top of your priority list. Make the relationship important and everything else falls in behind. He will accept a quicky when you are tired and be very grateful.

Now I understand that a lot of your husbands are lousy in the sack. This is because there is no school for sex that they can go to. It is easy to reject his overtures when you are tired and he does not take care of your needs. There is a solution for that. I am a marriage, relationship and sexual coach. I can give you help. I am also coming out with a book entitled: STOP HAVING LOUSY SEX. Believe me, he will become a hero in the bedroom when I am done with him. All you have to do is to drop me a line at marriagecoach1@yahoo.com and I will even give you a half hour complimentary session.


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